In what Stage until Awakening I am? (serious question)

[Javfly33]

So I´ve been doing Spirituality 2 and a half years on and off.

First it was just my first experiences of just not having thoughts thanks to meditation.

From that moment and doing Yoga and similar stuff, I started to have many time through my days where I was "observing" myself. After that I always struggled to dis-identified with "myself" and to stay in awareness.

I thought always that this was the supposed dance, the more you are in awareness, the less you are in ego-mind, the more free you are. This dual existencial being, either you are in awareness, either you are in personhood

However this last days I am having a breakthrough, there´s NO ONE in the mind!!! There´s NO ONE who is having this thoughts!! This is not a metaphor, literally I have to accept NOBODY has suffered a single second. @Javfly33 hasn´t suffered or lived a single second in all of this life because Javfly33 does not exist literally.

However I haven´t had a mistical experience, this has been just an intuitive observation that has gotten more stronger the last days, so I haven´t had a liberating experience or enlightment, just moments of more realization and moments of course more identification. The difference now is that before I thought "i was losing myself in thought" , now I fast I realize that nobody is really losing itself in thought. There´s only thought. There´s nobody attainning enlightment, there´s nobody losing enlightment.

 

How much work do you think i got left to Awaken? At the same time I do this question I laugh because there´s nobody who is going to awaken lmao i dont know how to digest this

Edited January 29, 2020 by Javfly33

[Stakres]

@Javfly33 Question everything you were lead to believe about awakening here on the forum or elsewhere. Question your definition of "awakening" and what you think it will be like. Question why you even want an "awakening". Food for thought.

[Wyatt]

@Javfly33 Sounds like you're having a major breakthrough in your perspective! Your English isn't perfect, so forgive me if I miss part of your point. 

There's a big difference between "stage" and "state." If you take psychedelics and have a huge breakthrough in understanding yourself, you might consider this life-transforming. "I'm never going to live like I used to! My whole life is gonna be different from here on out!" If you aren't able to fully integrate the insights from the trip (which most people are not able to do), we would call this a higher state. Once your level of personal and spiritual development has changed permanently or for a long period of time, we would call this a change in your stage.

So, if you want to make sure this enlightenment isn't just a 'state' and you're able to change your 'stage,' you need to start thinking about how you can align your work, friends, family, living situation, books and content you consume, and lifestyle with this awakening.

It's hard to tell exactly when enlightenment will happen. It's like trying to get hit by lightning: you don't know if it will happen or not, but if you stand on the top of a tree and hold a big metal rod, it's more likely to happen. Doing meditation, yoga, eating healthfully, contemplation, self-inquiry, and other things are the equivalent to holding a metal rod. So continue doing the difficult work and it may happen faster than you think.

There are also many different levels and degrees to awakening. There's a book called "1000: The Levels of Consciousness and a Map of the Stages of Awakening for Spiritual Seekers and Teachers" by Ramaji. It will better help you understand where you're at and where you may be going. https://www.amazon.com/1000-Consciousness-Awakening-Spiritual-Teachers-ebook/dp/B00JK2Y7HG

Hope this helps

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, Wyatt said:

@Javfly33 Sounds like you're having a major breakthrough in your perspective! Your English isn't perfect, so forgive me if I miss part of your point. 

There's a big difference between "stage" and "state." If you take psychedelics and have a huge breakthrough in understanding yourself, you might consider this life-transforming. "I'm never going to live like I used to! My whole life is gonna be different from here on out!" If you aren't able to fully integrate the insights from the trip (which most people are not able to do), we would call this a higher state. Once your level of personal and spiritual development has changed permanently or for a long period of time, we would call this a change in your stage.

So, if you want to make sure this enlightenment isn't just a 'state' and you're able to change your 'stage,' you need to start thinking about how you can align your work, friends, family, living situation, books and content you consume, and lifestyle with this awakening.

It's hard to tell exactly when enlightenment will happen. It's like trying to get hit by lightning: you don't know if it will happen or not, but if you stand on the top of a tree and hold a big metal rod, it's more likely to happen. Doing meditation, yoga, eating healthfully, contemplation, self-inquiry, and other things are the equivalent to holding a metal rod. So continue doing the difficult work and it may happen faster than you think.

There are also many different levels and degrees to awakening. There's a book called "1000: The Levels of Consciousness and a Map of the Stages of Awakening for Spiritual Seekers and Teachers" by Ramaji. It will better help you understand where you're at and where you may be going. https://www.amazon.com/1000-Consciousness-Awakening-Spiritual-Teachers-ebook/dp/B00JK2Y7HG

Hope this helps

It helps a lot, thanks for the detailed and it looks very real answer. 

[Nevon]

What do you mean when you say "stay in awareness"

[Shiva99]

There are no stages.

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, Nevon said:

What do you mean when you say "stay in awareness"

Stay as you are. As your true being. You really can only be awareness.

The difference is now that when I get lost in ego , I realize there's nobody in Ego. There's really no ego. It's difficult to explain.

[Forestluv]

3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

However this last days I am having a breakthrough, there´s NO ONE in the mind!!! There´s NO ONE who is having this thoughts!! This is not a metaphor, literally I have to accept NOBODY has suffered a single second. @Javfly33 hasn´t suffered or lived a single second in all of this life because Javfly33 does not exist literally.

I like to be balanced between spiritual progress in a timeline and Beingness of Now. What you are describing is realizations in Now. Observe and experience this. Integrate and embody it. There are times to let go of "what stage am I at? How much longer will it take?". There are times to Be Now. From one dimension, what you are seeking can only be realized Now - not in a timeline. 

3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

However I haven´t had a mistical experience, this has been just an intuitive observation that has gotten more stronger the last days, so I haven´t had a liberating experience or enlightment, just moments of more realization and moments of course more identification. The difference now is that before I thought "i was losing myself in thought" , now I fast I realize that nobody is really losing itself in thought. There´s only thought. There´s nobody attainning enlightment, there´s nobody losing enlightment.

Notice how the mind is trying to determine what counts as a "mystical experience". Notice how the mind is trying to categorize it. To me, your experience has aspects of the mystical. Some mystical experiences are mind-blowing, others are subtle. If I want to open space and allow the mystical to enter - I need to let go of defining what a mystical experience "should" be like. 

3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

How much work do you think i got left to Awaken? At the same time I do this question I laugh because there´s nobody who is going to awaken lmao i dont know how to digest this

In the context of your current experience, your mind seems way too anchored into some future destination. To me, it seems like you are digging into something profound. I would let go of thoughts like "am I almost there yet?" and actually be fully present Here and Now. Integrate and Embody what is arising Here and Now. 

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

There´s only thought. There´s nobody attainning enlightment, there´s nobody losing enlightment.

? 

Some examples of what is only a thought, arising...

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I haven´t had a mistical experience

That is a thought about an I, a self referential thought. “Javfly hasn’t had a mystical experience”. See how sneaky the ox is?  At the same time, create it. Go have mystical experiences.

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I haven´t had a liberating experience or enlightenment

Sooo sneaky. Just an “ I “ and we’re into story town.    Awareness of that thought. 

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

The difference now is that before I thought "i was losing myself in thought" , now I fast I realize that nobody is really losing itself in thought. There´s only thought. There´s nobody attainning enlightment, there´s nobody losing enlightment.

You’re Grand Central Station, always...it only seems that you got on a train (a thought) and left. 

Quote

How much work do you think i got left to Awaken? At the same time I do this question I laugh because there´s nobody who is going to awaken lmao i dont know how to digest this

Consciousness folds into itself, so to speak. So there is the apparent continuum of this, creation...and there is the inward path to what is already a backwards / inward movement, or Self Discovery. There is not only not “one who is done”, but also infinite Self discovery of who you actually are. Infinity is infinite. Look at the hand. Touch the wall. That is your infinite Self. There is no unreal, no nonexistence, no “out there”.