Fear Or Inner Muse?

[joegarland]

I know my life purpose. I'm going to be a spiritual teacher and pioneer: I want to advance understanding of spirituality and enlightenment.

The problem is that I can't settle on my medium.

I have been drawing for years. I've always loved drawing. But for several months now, I've been a a sort of artistic burnout. I can't shake the feeling that art is useless, or at least that it can't carry the impact that I want to make with my life. I want to because I do want to do more: I want to design buildings and interiors, I want to write books, I want to teach courses. I want a really powerful, visionary sort of role. Sort of like Walt Disney in creating Disney World and EPCOT.

But I don't want to recklessly abandon art. I know that I was have been intensely passionate about art and I still feel traces of it sometimes. But still the voice persists: my artwork isn't going to carry the impact I want to have. 
I can't tell if this just a sort of temporary lull of passion that happens on the hero's journey, or a cry from my inner muse to dream bigger. I really don't like the idea of quitting drawing--I've become quite attached to it. I can't imagine a passionate life without being able to draw, but I also can't imagine having a big impact if I'm going to focus my energy on drawing. 

My current plan is to keep drawing for the rest of the year and then see how I feel about it. But even so, that voice is really scaring me. I feel like I'm actually making a major mistake by investing any more time at all into drawing.

I'm stumped. I can't tell if this is fear or my intuition. Any insights on this?

[vizual]

What qualifies you to be spiritual teacher? Have you awakened?

[Saarah]

@joegarland one way I can think of that you can express both your desire to teach and draw at the same time is through YouTube videos where you can record yourself drawing on screen using a graphics tablet and attach your message to the video so that your art can have the impact you're looking for 

take a look at Michel phans video, this is both being artistic and sending a message, she starts the drawings around a minute in 

http://youtu.be/Ken5BrbrgDQ

[key]

From what I gather, you wish to stop drawing because you find it won't have a powerful impact on your life purpose.

That is absolutely ridiculous thinking, you think life is so short you need to ignore your desires? You indulge in ridiculous ones everyday without your awareness. We all do. 

Sure, you can want control and a certain way of life but actually ignoring ones passions because it doesn't seem to 'fit' into your purpose? I seem to remember you once stating that further down you seek to live in seclusion until you're enlightened, if you still follow such path you will find nothing but love and acceptance to how life is, you will find that there is no need to give up anything, and if you do it will be organic, a natural letting go, not forced reasons and ignored passions.

Follow your gut, feelings, intuition. Not the little voice in the back of your head that seems to torment more than feel right.

much love 

Edited June 14, 2016 by Kenya

[joegarland]

Thanks, @Saarah  @Kenya. You make some great points. I love the "follow your bliss" advice but I forget it too often. Already I'm seeing the possibilites that drawing can have.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@joegarland  My purpose is 50% drawing (In combination with one other thing). I believe it will have a huge impact, it will just take time and enjoyable hard work. I saw this amazing video clip of Mr. T , in modern times...he made a point of not sharing your purpose until you have achieved it... when I first discovered mine, it was odd how some friends became trolls and nay-sayers...so I won't be specific with mine, but I agree that art not having an impact is silly, there are too many examples to list... art has already changed the world for the better many times over. Even if you look at the negative side, how effective art is at manipulating consumers With advertizing images etc, you can see the power.

I think finding your specific niche in art,  (a more specific purpose, where you can envision the results of your combination with spiritual Ideas),  will supply you with the nessesary drive to remove all doubt. From my experience if you are a vision holder, you need a facilitating outlet for creative birthing. This is why Leo dosent't work in gaming any more, and part of why I don't work crazy hours in front of a screen for the animation industry any more.

Consider visualization/ meditation on combining spirit and art. An example: I have a friend that is one of the only westerners that exIbit their art in Tibetan temples. He combines soundscapes created by his musical son, and light with his paintings. These paintings change Signifigantly with daylight, moonlight, fire light, and black light. It is the spiritual element if his work that allows for the viewing in some Unique locations! Have fun finding your own amazing niche!