Talking to egos

[4201]

When you talk to any unenlighted being under the effect of their ego, (basically anyone), they will have this tendency of defining who they are. They will say things like "I'm good at X", "Y is not for me" etc. to basically explain you what they believe their identity is.

From my experience, when you validate their identity, they seem to start liking you. Saying things like "oh you really are a clever guy" or "yeah drawing really is your thing" are naturally things that the ego crave to reinforce its identity. In more negative situations, this can mean the ego you are talking to is playing the victim, and is actively looking for conversation that will reinforce their role as the victim.

Naturally, if you try to say things that would go against the role they are playing, the ego generates anger, or even hate. Their ego then starts looking at how pretentious you are and will find something about you which would invalidate everything you said, so that they can continue playing the role they are currently playing.

The thing is, both options seems quite bad honestly. Option 1 feels like I'm helping an ego develop itself to cause unhappiness in the person's life and option 2 feels like I'm just creating anger which makes more ego energy. So what do you even do? Avoid validating or invalidating people's identity all the time? Doesn't that prevent a connection between you and that person because they'll never feel "good" talking to you, they'll never get the pleasure of having their ego validated?

Edited January 28, 2020 by 4201

[PlayOnWords]

@4201 interesting. I tend to indulge people for the sake of smooth social relationships. But try to speak my mind when I really feel I should. 

[Meetjoeblack]

From even a sexual attractiveness aspect, ego is involved. There's no escaping it. Even if you swear off the following, you created a ego on the new way of being. 

Fuck it. Live your id. 

[Pallero]

It sounds like you don't know how to connect to people.