I give up on love.

[Einsteinonacid]

I never dated in highschool because I had many insecurities about myself and low self esteem regardless of being found attractive by many of the girls in my class. Because of this all the guys in the school would tell me I would never get a girl.

skip highschool and now I forever have that image of those assholes that ridiculed me dating in highschool when I couldn’t. I’ve always felt less than because of this. How everyone lived their youth normally while I missed out on it because I was so underdeveloped.I refuse to settle for mediocrity. I must be better than those shitstains and anyone else that ever put me down. I have to have more money than them. More status. And definitely a more quality wife.

This is why I gave up on dating and am just focusing on my life purpose so I can one day develop myself enough to get a trophy wife. I dont want to settle and fall in love like everyone else does. Its too late for that now. I need a woman most men cant have or afford.

I’ve thought about letting go of the past but the truth is if you get enough recognition and success your past comes back regardless.

I’m trapped in a mental prison. All I want is to be normal but I feel like its too late for that. I constantly feel my enemies’ eyes on me.

[Ananta]

4 hours ago, Einsteinonacid said:

I’ve thought about letting go of the past

My opinion, this is exactly what you should do. Hard to move forward when you are always looking back. When you forgive, you forgive for you, for you to let go.

[Forestluv]

@Einsteinonacid You've been exposed to a lot of negative crap which you are now carrying. A mentality of "I will prove all of those buliies wrong and I will be better than them. I'll make more money and have a better looking wife". . . this will perpetuate this negative toxic story that those jackasses conditioned into you. . . Ask yourself, do you want to carry this crappy negative energy your whole life? Or would you rather flush all that crap down the toilet and live a life free of it?

[Nahm]

@Einsteinonacid

You don’t have to continue to believe what doesn’t feel good to you, nor do you have to let the past define or steer you in anyway. ♥️ In every case, you’re getting more of what you’re focusing on. If you want to make millions and have a beautiful wife, you certainly can. Focus on it, beautify it in your mind and heart. When a self defeating thought, which is not in alignment with what you want arises, let it go. Short of that, you’ll continue missing all the extraordinary ways what you are wanting is already coming. 

[ElvisN]

I'm really sorry for what you went through dude

[Einsteinonacid]

Thanks for your support guys.
I think its time to for me to swallow my pride, forgive, and let go of my past. Enough of this “they did this to me so so now I must do this” mentality. I have to stop caring what people think of me and letting others opinions of me guide my life. Time to take control of my life.

[Ananta]

7 minutes ago, Einsteinonacid said:

Thanks for your support guys.
I think its time to for me to swallow my pride, forgive, and let go of my past. Enough of this “they did this to me so so now I must do this” mentality. I have to stop caring what people think of me and letting others opinions of me guide my life. Time to take control of my life.

?❤

[Shakazulu]

Look into someone helping you get over this mindset. You won’t get over it on your own. There are deep wounds that should be healed. Find a happiness coach or someone who can help you resolve this

[Applegarden]

@Einsteinonacid Yes, swallow it and really look for what you need, don't feed that ghost to prove bullies wrong, i have problems with swallowing that to but ifyou really want to be different than your bullies, remember they are nothing but arrogant and to prove you why ur their projection. Every step i have swallowed it and acted, is a true victory for me i can say!

Edited February 19, 2020 by Applegarden

[Osaid]

@Einsteinonacid Don't let those "shitstains" have such substantial control over your life. Remember this feeling of "wanting to prove them wrong" is all created by your thoughts and beliefs. Let go and be free. Maybe try meditation.