Being overpowered during a trip

[StarStruck]

@Serotoninluv very similar history and experience with me. Almost identical. I will definitely try going into the forest. Luckily there is a big forest 10 minutes from where I live. Only downside is that there are a lot of tourists from other parts of the country. Coming face to face with people in the forest is more threatening than coming face to face in urban areas. I don’t want to be on LSD and come face to face with people in the forest. My face is very expressive and I will probably come self critical to myself to try to fit the mold by not appearing to be weird. I didn’t do much therapy. I did talked about the depth of the emotional and physical torture.. once or twice.. and people were just shocked. This gave me some sort of comfort, compression and acknowledgement because back at home this was never given to me. Currently I’m doing trauma release exercises and couple of weeks ago I got into a pain body of my inner child. I felt so angry that I hit somebody for crossing my personal boundaries. Doing things like boxing and so on can help with trauma release too. Since then I felt a lot more wholesome like the inner child that I neglected / gave up on protecting felt some joy. I think working through these problems will be my focus for the coming months. They are a clear obstacle for my enlightenment. I’m well aware that I’m in a half sleep state because I can’t be present in the now, there is always some fear, some unmet need, value scanning or feeling of not being loved / being unworthy. The book power of now is something I keep coming back to. Especially for people with traumatic pasts it offers a lot of value.