Is ignoring people okay?

[Ingit]

I generally ignore some people especially whom I have know well. I feel like certain people take advantage of me and it has happened to me many times before. And I being a kind person I have a habit of saying Yes to everyone to not make them feel bad and eventually I am the one who suffers at last. I want to know what level of healthy ignoring is good and what are your opinions!

[Eph75]

Learning to say no is important. Usually getting a no doesn't mean much if anything, but saying yes when you don't really want to, or want to for the wrong reasons costs a lot of negative energy.

It is much better, and more respectful, to learn self-responsibility and learn to say no than to dodge people based on the risk of ending up in a situation where you get forced into saying yes/can't say no. 

Also people quickly learn to ask for things from yay-sayers, most likely unknowingly taking advantage of that persons percievable "kindness". But it's not kindness at that point, there is probably some or a lot of resentment underneath your "kindness". 

Learning to say no is one of lifes important - and hard - lessons.

Would you yourself rather get a plain no from someone or would you rather be ignored? 

With that said, that doesn't mean that you have to let anyone into your life. That's fully up to you choosing, but everything we can do, we can choose to do with self-respect and respect for others. 

Edited January 26, 2020 by Eph75

[Ingit]

@Eph75 ???? Previous days I used to get upset with people saying No’s to me but recently I am getting comfortable and respecting others..... I have also found out that Despite of saying No certain people(especially very elder) still try to force me and eventually I fell into saying Yes and later realisation comes with suffering. 

[Eph75]

Knowing what you want and what you stand for/value, when "yes" is wrong for you and when "no" is called for and then being strong in that moment and standing up for who you are and your values is what personal integrity is. Be strong at times when your personal integrity gets challenged  People around you will quickly recognize that as a strength and they will start behaving differently in these kind of regards. If you fail to stand up for yourself, equally, they learn that putting you under pressure makes you fold. 

Also, learning to say no makes you grow as an individual. 

Edited January 26, 2020 by Eph75

[Leo Gura]

You need to learn to set boundaries and communicate your values and boundaries to people rather than acting silent or passive aggressive.

Better communication is crucial.

People-pleasing is a common problem. It's worth taking the time to work that out in yourself. You don't want to live as a people-pleaser your whole life.

Once you solve your people-pleasing, then you will be able to effectively communicate and enforce your values and boundaries with people, and you won't have to ignore them or suffering silently.

[Ingit]

@Leo Gura ?? got it thanks@Eph75 ?exactly

[Moreira]

The problem is not people pleasing.

People who take advantage of nice people have something wrong in their minds, some kind of psychopathy that make them lack empathy and morality.

Without the basics of humanity theyre trapped and focused in mundane shit like climbing social ladder, status, money, power, all of course abusing and crashing nice people. Soulless individuals that walks life as a void shell.

Dont listen those who tell you dont be a nice person.

Ignore bad people and surround yourself with good ones and let others rot while society collapses.

[Ingit]

@Moreira if I think Like that doesn’t that strengthens my Ego!

[Leo Gura]

14 hours ago, Moreira said:

People who take advantage of nice people have something wrong in their minds, some kind of psychopathy that make them lack empathy

People who don't have compassion for people who take advantage of nice people have something wrong with their minds, some kind of psychopathy that makes them lack empathy

[montecristo]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

People who don't have compassion for people who take advantage of nice people have something wrong with their minds, some kind of psychopathy that makes them lack empathy

Ive always rooted for the villain for some reason when i watch movies, not at the expense of everyone else though. I'm sort of rooting for everyone but i cant seem to exclude the villain for some reason.

I've always had too much empathy to function properly in this world

[Leo Gura]

@montecristo Sounds like you and God have a lot in common

[Michael569]

Time to start saying "no". Even to people you like and with whom you are close. Consciously or not, people will try to push you into their agenda, activities and than make you feel bad and guilty for not participating. Once you spot this kind of mind game either confront them or cut them from your life. 

[Hsinav]

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Time to start saying "no". Even to people you like and with whom you are close. Consciously or not, people will try to push you into their agenda, activities and than make you feel bad and guilty for not participating. Once you spot this kind of mind game either confront them or cut them from your life. 

Well said.

 

[RawJudah]

8 hours ago, montecristo said:

Ive always rooted for the villain for some reason when i watch movies, not at the expense of everyone else though. I'm sort of rooting for everyone but i cant seem to exclude the villain for some reason.

I've always had too much empathy to function properly in this world

Same with me! I always feel sorry for the villain, in movies, real life, whatever. 

I've been called 'too nice' and 'over sensitive' too. 

It hurts to have a big heart sometimes haha

[kag101]

On 26/01/2020 at 6:05 AM, Leo Gura said:

You need to learn to set boundaries and communicate your values and boundaries to people rather than acting silent or passive aggressive.

Better communication is crucial.

People-pleasing is a common problem. It's worth taking the time to work that out in yourself. You don't want to live as a people-pleaser your whole life.

Once you solve your people-pleasing, then you will be able to effectively communicate and enforce your values and boundaries with people, and you won't have to ignore them or suffering silently.

??????

[Annoynymous]

i do have the necessity to ignore people on occasions although i don't feel good about doing it whenever i do it. I am not good at confronting a person and tell him/her directly about what's bothering me. Its quite painful for me to do and i have noticed that even if i try to do that, i can not deliver the full picture of what is bothering me to that person. So i prefer just ignoring that person, sometimes without a notice. I think i have passive aggressive issue, so i need to work on that as well.

 

[ElvisN]

On 1/27/2020 at 10:39 AM, montecristo said:

Ive always rooted for the villain for some reason when i watch movies, not at the expense of everyone else though. I'm sort of rooting for everyone but i cant seem to exclude the villain for some reason.

I've always had too much empathy to function properly in this world

I think you're a very special person.

[ElvisN]

@RawJudah

[mandyjw]

Proverbs 27:5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love.