Please watch this video before you respond but recently after a event happened I devolved Pure OCD which I wasnt sure at the time what it was and was having suicidal thoughts everyday and tried to kill myself after 1 month of suffering with this ... The intrusive thoughts I have disgust me and I have no desire to act on them but having these thoughts day in and day out make me feel like a monster and killing myself  ... Ive been put on benzos to stop the thoughts from bothering me too much and getting rid of some of the suicidal thoughts because the benzos relax me ... I find I get angry that Im going through this and feel so so alone like a monster and it makes me want to kill myself because I ask god why me ... Ive watched about 70 percent of leos videos and they have helped me alot but this is truely hell on earth in my own mind . Nothing i have ever experienced in my life can relate to the amount of torment I am going through and if this keeps on going im going to keep trying to kill myself .... I feel so trapped  ... Basically pure o is when you have unwanted intrusive thoughts about pedophilia rape and murder that you cant shut off .... I feel like im going insane and im soo alone