Beautiful Changa experience after feeling lonely (20 years old)

[SchmiMo]

Hello, just 30 minutes ago I had a beautiful Changa experience. First a little background: I am a 20 year old male. I know actualized.org since 3,5 years and watched almost all of Leo´s videos. When I had my first life-changing beautiful NN-DMT experience I was 17. Since then I neither used the NN-DMT or Changa that I have at home for over 3 years now. I worked to get my life in good order first and waited for the DMT to "Call me" again. I had lots of (low and high dose) LSD experiences since then, but when it came to the DMT, it always scared me.

Today was a regular day at first, but then I felt quite lonely for some reason and "the Calling" entered my mind. So I measured 110 mg of the changa that I have (I estimate there were about 40 mg of NN-DMT in it) and loaded it into my bong. The process from deciding, I am going to trip to taking the actual hit took me about 1 hour, since I was so nervous. I put on some peaceful indian flute music, still my heart beat was at 120 BPM.

 

Then I finally lighted up the bong and inhaled all of the smoke in one hit. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to inhale the whole thing. For the first 5 seconds I thought I did something wrong because I didn´t feel anything but then quickly it hit me really intense. So I laid down in my bed, all while still keeping the smoke inside me. I still had my eyes open, while witnessing the room deconstructing into polygons and patterns which collapsed into themself and building themself up again. It were mostly gray patterns.

At this point, at the dmt comeup, the same thing as always happened  when I smoke dmt: My mind jumps back and forth between the thoughts: "What is happening? Did I do it right? Just don´t exhale! I will die! You are fine, just fight all your instincts and don´t exhale! What is going on? Stop fighting! ... ". I exhaled after like 50 seconds. The exhalation and the first following inhalation felt like an orgasm. Then I felt like closing my eyes. The same visual thing happend while eyes closed. This time it had a blackish background, it was more intense and way FASTER! It was so fast that my mind had to surrender analysing and I was forced to see the BEAUTY that is in front of me right now, without me having to understand it.

The trip only lasted for about 5 minutes because I inhaled everything in one hit, but it was everything and much more, of what I was looking for today.

 

Here are the notes I wrote down 5 minutes after my trip was over: Message: RELAX ITS ALL GOOD. Dont rush anything its all good. Be Present, enjoy other people. Enjoy every day. Keep lerning about life, but dont rush it. If you meet with ANYONE. Be more interested in them, actually be curious about who they are, what they stand for, why they stand for it. Dont always see people through the lense of how they could benefit you. Dont be so impatient about EVERYTHING. Dont look for beauty in the future, beauty is here right now.

 

It surprised me how easy it was for me to go into the trip, surrender myself, and giving myself to the healing. There was no reason for the intense fear I had before the trip at all. My bodymind has some serious reactions before doing stuff like this, for no reason at all. This was a very healing experience for my inflated Ego. I know there is still way more to experience with NN-DMT, not to mention 5-MeO and DPT, but I am only 20 and there is time. Everone is at a different point in their journey.

Thank you for reading! I just had the urge to share this and I would be grateful for every answer.

Edited January 25, 2020 by SchmiMo

[Leo Gura]

Yup, that's the beauty of psychedelics.

But there will also be challenging trips ahead, so tread carefully.