How can I stop masturbating once and for all? I VOW MYSELF to.

[Kshantivadin]

It doesn't happen often since I've started NoFap more than 3 years ago. But still, it happens sometimes, and when it does - I feel miserable. Physically. Of course there's the psychological aspect where I failed doing what I want, and all the thoughts about how I lost my vital energy and temporarily castrated myself and desensitized my dopamine receptors etc.

But when I clear my mind of those thoughts, what's left is - really, a tired, lethargic body, having lost lots of energy (it's like my sexual energy is contained within my semen and when I release that way I lose both the semen and ALL the energy), wanting to just not move at all and not motivated to do anything the entire next day, with an extremely depressive outlook on life.

The love I feel is far greater than the minor genital love, than the love of gratification, than the love of satisfying my needs. Naturally, this aspect of life must go. Because I love myself too much to be doing this to myself. I love the higher pleasures way more than the not even satisfying, 4 second sensation of pleasure.

I don't masturbate to orgasm though, of course. I do it out of self-harm mostly now. When I want to fuck myself up, I hurt myself this way. That's what happened the last two times. So, most of the times it's harming myself, sometimes it's handling emotional pain, and sometimes it's just pure sexual energy which is gravitating towards sexual activity and boom I'm searching and watching super feminine non-sexual stuff.

You could even say my masturbation is healthy. But the pain I feel afterwards, I definitely never want to experience masturbation in my life ever. I also feel the same pain when I cum during sex. My sperm is extremely thick, I haven't seen such sperm. I consider myself a highly sexual being and I think that most of my life force is actually derived from the sexual energy. Without it, I'm a vegetable.

The last two months, 60 days, I masturbated 6 times. That's way, way too much for me. Before that it was like 3 times in 2019, and 2018 went an entire year clean. Horrible.

I wrote on the other side of a drawing of mine (where I drew a sun shackled, unable to reach a land of smiley-faces) that I vow to never masturbate again. I truly, truly, truly, don't want it in my life anymore. I love myself too much. I love others around me too much, they benefit from the energetic, happy, charismatic me. This post is the first step to devising a plan to end this shit.

If you happen to know of a step-by-step method, please let me know. Any advice is greatly, greatly appreciated, thank you!

The things I know :

Accountability partners (giving them money if you fail)

Taoist semen retention exercises

Making it harder for you to get access to sexual content (hard for me because I just unconsciously hopped on instagram and lots of shit there)

 

I don't know what to do. This is really depressing, that my inclinations are DRIVING me towards harming myself. I can feel the sexual energy right now, wanting me to go on instagram again and FUCK. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, I want to fuck. My mind thinks that masturbating is fucking.

[Romer02]

Just be and watch, whatever happens. Maybe stop giving meaning to masturbating its neither good nor bad. 

[Derek White]

On 2020-01-24 at 2:08 AM, Kshantivadin said:

Of course there's the psychological aspect where I failed doing what I want, and all the thoughts about how I lost my vital energy and temporarily castrated myself and desensitized my dopamine receptors etc.

Sounds to me you’re judging yourself too harshly. You should not feel this way psychologically, there’s nothing normal about thinking this way. Masturbation is okay and natural.

If you feel pain physically after masturbation, you should see a doctor, because that’s not normal either and take that seriously. The amount of times you masturbate is also quite moderate, from my estimate you should feel zero pain after masturbation, although I’m not a doctor.

It could also be because you judge yourself so harshly that you mentally create physical pain for yourself.

On 2020-01-24 at 2:08 AM, Kshantivadin said:

The last two months, 60 days, I masturbated 6 times. That's way, way too much for me. Before that it was like 3 times in 2019, and 2018 went an entire year clean. Horrible.

That’s in fact a low amount of masturbation. It is actually really not normal for a male to not masturbate or have sex for an entire year. This can lead to sexual frustration and masturbation is great for relieving it. I say masturbating 6 times, once per day, in 60 days is a good amount for a healthy young male. 

On 2020-01-24 at 2:08 AM, Kshantivadin said:

I love myself too much. I love others around me too much, they benefit from the energetic, happy, charismatic me. This post is the first step to devising a plan to end this shit.

I think you fundamentally misunderstand Love. Love means you accept yourself the way you are. You are coming from a place of disgust, denial, judgement, and hatred. That is not Love. Love is to accept yourself fully the way you are, which includes your masturbation desires.

I don’t think you have an addiction problem. It sounds to me that you have limiting beliefs about what masturbation is. It is not wrong, evil or unhealthy. There is no shame in it. It will not lower your energy, it might actually have the opposite effect. Stop judging it. In fact do it more often if you feel the need. And actually try to enjoy it for once, that would be Love. 

You will NEVER fully resolve any addiction problems by neurotically suppressing, judging, and, hating your desires.If you concentrate and try to stop, it will only last a short time and the suppressed desire will find expression in other nasty ways. It will feel horrible trying to consciously suppress it all your life. It will only make it worse. You have to shine awareness on these things with an open mind, without judgement. 

[Shiva99]

1 hour ago, Derek White said:

That’s in fact a low amount of masturbation. It is actually really not normal for a male to not masturbate or have sex for an entire year.

Why so? What about monks? Do you think they are not normal and crazy?

1 hour ago, Derek White said:

Masturbation is okay and natural.

Smoking was okay and natural in the 50s and 60s too.

 

[Harikrishnan]

24 minutes ago, Shiva99 said:

Why so? What about monks? Do you think they are not normal and crazy?

Smoking was okay and natural in the 50s and 60s too.

 

Comparing smoking with masturbation. Wow ? 

[Kalki Avatar]

Some stuff that helps me are the following:

-Mindset: Have a positive perspective of how strong you feel everytime you resist your urge. And remember that saving this energy makes you more powerful, productive and intelligent aswell. 

-Compund effect: Dont think about lasting a year without faping. Instead, think everyday and everymoment you feel the urge, resist. From each present moment to present moment it will compound till a year. 

-Sex: Make your self the commitment to only cum with a girl or if you get a wet dream. Meaning, your cum will depend on others. This will make you feel lighter free and motivated. 

-When you feel the urge to fap, inmediately change your thoughts focus and go around someone in your house. This will force it to stop. 

-Get a cold shower. It will force your focus to the moment. 

-Dont bring your Phone to the bathroom and don't stay much inside there. 

-Stay busy around the day, so you don't have time to fap. 

-Exercise, so your sexual energy dont get stuck. 

-Socialize

*Lastly, challenge yourself with your friends to see who lasts longer. Everytime someone looses they have to pay you something. 

[herghly]

Sounds like more problems, not benefits.

 

What's the goal?

[Kalki Avatar]

@herghly 1. To save time and energy wasted randomly on a unconcious habit. Every time your sexual energy is release, your body has to invest alot of energy to reset itself. This also applies for eating alot. Wasted energy. 

2. To not attach yourself as the only way to have sexual pleasure. You can fap on once in a while, but if you make it a habit you will feel like a loser whos not capable of getting a pussy. 

3. Faping kills your drive to take action. From an evolutionary perspective, being a survivor (succesful) is what makes you attractive to women. This creates motivation to improve yourself and then fck girls (make babies) and pro create. 

4. Sexual energy transmuted makes you more intelligent.

5. If you are into enlightenment this kundalini is crucial. 

 

Edited January 27, 2020 by Kalki Avatar

[StarStruck]

This is not going to be the answer you were hoping for but here it is: become enlightened/present in the now and practice it daily. 

[Shiva99]

7 hours ago, Harikrishnan said:

Comparing smoking with masturbation. Wow ? 

What are you trying to say? Your reaction is exactly what i'm talking about. You seriously have no clue what negative and detrimental effects compulsive masturbation can have on once life. 

[Harikrishnan]

41 minutes ago, Shiva99 said:

What are you trying to say? Your reaction is exactly what i'm talking about. You seriously have no clue what negative and detrimental effects compulsive masturbation can have on once life. 

I dont think 6 masturbation in 60 days is compulsive. What i think compulsive is need for not masturbating. No problem here rather than being self critical and judgmental and people pleasing. Here problem is not masturbation maybe nerousis i dont know maybe i am wrong on neurosis part. 

Edited January 27, 2020 by Harikrishnan

[Derek White]

@Shiva99 The video links many studies in the description too.

Don’t just monkey monks. Being a monk is itself not normal, not everyone is a monk or can be. Homosexuality and pedophilia are found in many of these monks. You don’t know what, why, or how they are doing it, use your own mind, do what makes sense to you.

[Derek White]

This is a good one too with may references so you can double check what they are saying. 

Masturbating once in 10 days is not excessive in any way, but if you still want to remove that habit, you are doing it in a self-hating way, hence the depression.

[Kshantivadin]

On 1/27/2020 at 10:34 AM, Derek White said:

Sounds to me you’re judging yourself too harshly. You should not feel this way psychologically, there’s nothing normal about thinking this way. Masturbation is okay and natural.

If you feel pain physically after masturbation, you should see a doctor, because that’s not normal either and take that seriously. The amount of times you masturbate is also quite moderate, from my estimate you should feel zero pain after masturbation, although I’m not a doctor.

It could also be because you judge yourself so harshly that you mentally create physical pain for yourself.

That’s in fact a low amount of masturbation. It is actually really not normal for a male to not masturbate or have sex for an entire year. This can lead to sexual frustration and masturbation is great for relieving it. I say masturbating 6 times, once per day, in 60 days is a good amount for a healthy young male. 

I think you fundamentally misunderstand Love. Love means you accept yourself the way you are. You are coming from a place of disgust, denial, judgement, and hatred. That is not Love. Love is to accept yourself fully the way you are, which includes your masturbation desires.

I don’t think you have an addiction problem. It sounds to me that you have limiting beliefs about what masturbation is. It is not wrong, evil or unhealthy. There is no shame in it. It will not lower your energy, it might actually have the opposite effect. Stop judging it. In fact do it more often if you feel the need. And actually try to enjoy it for once, that would be Love. 

You will NEVER fully resolve any addiction problems by neurotically suppressing, judging, and, hating your desires.If you concentrate and try to stop, it will only last a short time and the suppressed desire will find expression in other nasty ways. It will feel horrible trying to consciously suppress it all your life. It will only make it worse. You have to shine awareness on these things with an open mind, without judgement. 

Awesome reply, thank you!

It truly does lower my energy, from experience of many times of masturbating.

Though I'm trying to resolve that neurotic relationship against it. This year I did let myself do it once, and it was Love.

[Bill W]

Look man. All this emphasis people put on whether or not they masturbate is really just a distraction from the inner issues that need dealing with. People think life will magically get better when they stop fapping. Why would it make any difference? It's neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. 

[Shiva99]

22 hours ago, Bill W said:

Look man. All this emphasis people put on whether or not they masturbate is really just a distraction from the inner issues that need dealing with. People think life will magically get better when they stop fapping. Why would it make any difference? It's neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. 

Not just masturbation. It's the combination of masturbation and watching porn that is causing most, if not all problems. 

Life actually does get better if they stop, because they stop running away from their problems. Masturbation and porn are used as a means of escapism and numbing down pain. It's literally like alcohol abuse.

[RawJudah]

If you really want to quit, get rid of all screens. Tv, computer, laptop, smartphone. Its not the masturbation, it’s the pixels and masturbating to them that’s the problem. Quit then see how you feel.

[Chew211]

What happened to me is that I got porn induced erectile dysfunction. 

I couldn't get it up one time I wanted to have sex. 

Now, I'm recovering. I got to the point where I don't need Viagra anymore. But still not 100%.

When it's a choice between your erections and porn, the choice is clear.