Attachment Styles

[Raptorsin7]

@Martin123 If you have a problem with @Nahm then just block him. You are seriously deluded though if you think he is the problem in your conversation.

Grow up. Or learn to practice humility when engaging in discussions that you do not understand.

[Martin123]

@Raptorsin7 Thanks for the feedback and letting me know how deluded I was, I think that's what I needed to hear today. Sending love your way.
PS: If you have information on how to block people don't be a stranger and let me know.

 

edit: figured it out

Edited February 18, 2020 by Martin123

[DrewNows]

@Martin123 it's sort of interesting, whenever i had my first awakening after/during my reading of the power of now some years ago, i actually just assumed all the fears and unconscious behavior could be dealt with by simply grounding myself in the present moment. Over time it became incredibly hard to do this and i found myself binge watching and rereading more eckhart tolle, taking ice baths and meditating, especially when/before doing things i'd usually be all 'up in my head' about. Eventually i found out the hard way that having a mere awakening didn't change anything related to my attachment issues with women, the deep seeded fears and beliefs that felt natural to express still found their place. After i'd learned about the attachment theory everything seemed to click, i was given answers and solutions to how "i and others" perceived various situations. This went so deep i remember crying tears of joy that "how sick i could be" was learned behavior for self protection and that digging deeper into these issues was the "how to" transform into a healthy secure individual. Forgiveness was possible it seemed but like any other tool, it only gave what i was willing to accept about the story i'd been told by my very own programming; so ultimately, finding clarity in purpose and vision is by far the path to true self transformation. Is attachment theory necessary for this? No, but it can definitely be helpful in exposing blind spots. Ironically enough it can also be just as much a distraction/hindrance to changing one's story/narrative because it puts limitations that are only really circumstantial on oneself and others

I don't think Nahm was intentionally trying to exploit/attack your ass (or way), but i can see how you'd interpret his post as such based off your previous posts. Truth is subjective dawg, your interpretation of his advice is what conjugated the accusations. His advice is completely valid, step out of the story, rewrite the script. Only without the understandings in attachment, the rough patches could be more daunting/unbearable as i found to be the case  

Edited February 19, 2020 by DrewNows

[Martin123]

32 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

it's sort of interesting, whenever i had my first awakening after/during my reading of the power of now some years ago, i actually just assumed all the fears and unconscious behavior could be dealt with by simply grounding myself in the present moment. Over time it became incredibly hard to do this and i found myself binge watching and rereading more eckhart tolle, taking ice baths and meditating, especially when/before doing things i'd usually be all 'up in my head' about. Eventually i found out the hard way that having a mere awakening didn't change anything related to my attachment issues with women, the deep seeded fears and beliefs that felt natural to express still found their place. After i'd learned about the attachment theory everything seemed to click, i was given answers and solutions to how "i and others" perceived various situations. This went so deep i remember crying tears of joy that "how sick i could be" was learned behavior for self protection and that digging deeper into these issues was the "how to" transform into a healthy secure individual. Forgiveness was possible it seemed but like any other tool, it only gave what i was willing to accept about the story i'd been told by my very own programming; so ultimately, finding clarity in purpose and vision is by far the path to true self transformation. Is attachment theory necessary for this? No, but it can definitely be helpful in exposing blind spots. Ironically enough it can also be just as much a distraction/hindrance to changing one's story/narrative because it puts limitations that are only really circumstantial on oneself and others

 

Wow! What a powerful story, thanks for sharing that @DrewNows!
 

 

32 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

I don't think Nahm was intentionally trying to exploit/attack your ass (or way), but i can see how you'd interpret his post as such based off your previous posts. Truth is subjective dawg, your interpretation of his advice is what conjugated the accusations. His advice is completely valid, step out of the story, rewrite the script. Only without the understandings in attachment, the rough patches could be more daunting/unbearable as i found to be the case  

Thanks for the support and your involvement, I appreciate it.
It is not the case that I would hold a grudge or alienate him in any way. It's simply a matter of the fact that within me there still lives a traumatized archetype of a victim who was abused and trashed by overly insensitive masculine energy. One of the main ways a victim is reformed is by reclaiming their voice and saying No! The problem wasn't the advice, nor its legitimacy, the problem was that I did not ask for it. And since we already brought 'Moo-man' (thanks for that name I'll remember that hah) into the conversation, I recall a situtation with him where a former lover who he discarded was complaining about her treatment, and her complaints were dismissed as 'you were just too attached', and I was handled in a very similar way, where my concerns about the use of nonduality as a way of manipulating individuals who are in pain, and perpetuating patriarchal conditioning, was dismissed as a projection and so and so. It's not a projection, it's a very real thing that happens every day. As much as I would love to be complete and healed enough to brush it off without saying anything, I am not. I'm still vulnerable, raw and in various degrees of pain from what has happened to me in my life. I am on a very intense journey, and whenever my journey is disrespected by others, the only option is to speak up. It's very simple. It's an opportunity to heal, as a way of informing my nervous system that its safe to speak up, and if met with consequences, I can always ensure m own safety. It's very important to honor my own process, and so I shall.

[DrewNows]

28 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

The problem wasn't the advice, nor its legitimacy, the problem was that I did not ask for it.

It wasn't directed at you...

There's a great quote or phrase i heard that regarding energy, that it cannot be taken from anyone, only given. 

28 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

As much as I would love to be complete and healed enough to brush it off without saying anything, I am not.

You will never be complete or healed enough to brush something off, this is perfectly okay but it's only one aspect of you, don't we have more than just what we've been programmed with? This power is infinite and encompasses all the various aspects of our potential

28 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

I'm still vulnerable, raw and in various degrees of pain from what has happened to me in my life. I am on a very intense journey, and whenever my journey is disrespected by others, the only option is to speak up.

This is a blessing to be able to feel this pain. Pain can be overlooked and judged, but it deserves it's place in healing, i just don't see pointing the finger as an effective way to utilize such energy

36 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

It's an opportunity to heal, as a way of informing my nervous system that its safe to speak up, and if met with consequences, I can always ensure m own safety. It's very important to honor my own process, and so I shall.

Please note, i think the journey can never be disrespected unless power is given away. Once i reached out to Nahm and asked why he doesn't think shadow work and delving into the past to be an effective way for integration, he said something along the lines of it can complicate the simplicity of being with 'what is' because of all the unquestioned assumptions (i don't actually recall what exactly he said)

As for Moo-man  (im a fucking genious ), i think it's important, literally, for everyone, to stop looking at others as being some kind of Jesus. Personally i follow the knowledge, and say fuck that to the ideas of who i imagine them to be, because i know they are me; judging others is judging myself, so i always keep this in mind, there's no settling in my experience of life 

[Martin123]

@DrewNows Look man i appreciate your interest but please stop dissecting my healing process according to your own beliefs. Not helpful, thanks. 

[DrewNows]

4 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

@DrewNows Look man i appreciate your interest but please stop dissecting my healing process according to your own beliefs. Not helpful, thanks. 

"it's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy..." (good will hunting lol) 

If you consider accusations to be part of the healing process than you're fooling yourself 

[Martin123]

@DrewNows I would like to inform you that I've mastered the art of blocking people.
I don't wish to block you because you seem like someone who is wonderful and whom I appreciate. So let's just please end this conversation, thank you. 

[DrewNows]

@Martin123 praise be man