Energetic lump in my throat?!

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Hey folks, so I have been wondering about this strange sensation that I have been carrying around in my throat area for quite a while now... it feels like something is nesting inside there and refuses to leave its cushy shelter; really the best way to describe it is to say that it feels very much like the kind of feeling that you get in your throat and sinuses just before you start to cry, and I am certainly inclined to link it to unresolved grief that is stuck in my body. Sometimes it almost vanishes, but at other times it gets really strong again -- especially when I feel annoyed, sad and frustrated. My, erm, self medication with weed and various psychedelics has certainly helped to somewhat soften & diffuse this lump, but I wonder if there aren't any other methods that might be worth a try as well... I have tried throat chakra meditation in the past, but alas, no dice. Any suggestions?

Edited January 23, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[Neph]

@Bazooka Jesus You have to go through it lil longer once you understand it it won't matter...

[ivankiss]

Blocked throat chakra, perhaps.

Are you expressing yourself freely? Speaking your truth? Do you speak confidently?

It could be a sign of you holding back. Also; it could be anything else.

Vocal exercise (singing) could help. Investigating why you're holding back on your expression, too.

 

Edited January 23, 2020 by ivankiss

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

I definitely have a little bit of an issue with expressing myself freely; all through my childhood, I got dunked on relentlessly (especially my two elder brothers) whenever I opened my mouth and voiced my opinion about anything, so this could certainly have something to do with it. But then again, I kind of like to hear myself talk (if you haven't noticed already, bwahaha), and many people have told me that I can be an amazingly talkative guy if I want to - in fact, most folks look at me like I am trying to pull their leg when I confess to them that I am actually a natural introvert, so I am not sure if that really is the whole story or if there isn't something more to it!

Edited January 23, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Bump-biddy-bump - anybody else feel like sharing their two cents?

[Nahm]

@Bazooka Jesus Something come to mind you’ve been wanting to change, or get started on? 

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

@Nahm  Well like I said, I have just been wondering about this peculiar feeling in my throat and was curious to hear if any among the goods folks around here have some ideas on how to effectively adress this issue. I am pretty sure that it is a psychosomatic thing, given that the feeling changes in accordance with my current mood (ever since my epic mushroom trip one week ago, I have barely noticed it, but it’s definitely still there).

Over the course of the last eight months, I have been working on trauma release - i.e. I’ve literally been shaking and trembling residue stress out of my body and could certainly feel a difference afterwards; but my throat still feels a little blocked.

I am very much fishing in the dark here, so any suggestions are welcome!

[Nahm]

@Bazooka Jesus My man, you just steam rolled my question! ♥️ Take that throat off the past and what’s it got to say about the future, what are you wanting,  what are you creating?! ??☺️

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Hmm, not sure what exactly you’re aiming at with this question... generally speaking, I want to create a happy and fulfilled life for myself (fancy that, lol!). I recently managed to move to the city of my dreams, which was a big step for me; now I am thinking about what further steps I could take that would bring me closer to getting (or creating) a job that would fulfill me or at least not drive me nuts every single day. I am also thinking about writing a movie script based on an idea that has been on my mind for quite a while now, but I haven’t really been able to get my creative juices flowing - which seems to attest to the assumption that there is a problem with freedom of expression that needs to be adressed somehow. Other than that, I would like to be able to travel more, but this would require that I first get a job that will provide me with the necessary pocket money. Or I could just become a wandering hobo, heh. (This is something that I have actually been contemplating lately; there are plenty of examples of people who travelled the world without money for years, which sounds like an amazing challenge to me!)

[Ero]

@Bazooka Jesus Most of the health problems I've had were connected with my throat and lungs. There was an understanding in my family that this was connected with not being able to express and share what I wanted to. At that point of time that was a useful story to help me, yet of course it is neither the only one, nor "the best". All blockages, desensitisations and traumas in the body-mind require your conscious awareness and work towards an active release. This is a whole domain of consciousness work that is highly complex and nuanced and requires you yourself to go through it, as it is highly personal. Start educating yourself, reading various materials in scope and paradigm and actively engaging in this part of your life, for it is highly worth it. Starting points may be the karmic paradigm, the past lives story, the psychosomatic approach, release through physical exercises, holotropic breathwork, psychedelics and so on. Whatever resonates, you should try out. Make a dedication to it, for it is a big part of your development and purification.

[Visionary]

1 hour ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

@Nahm  Well like I said, I have just been wondering about this peculiar feeling in my throat and was curious to hear if any among the goods folks around here have some ideas on how to effectively adress this issue. I am pretty sure that it is a psychosomatic thing, given that the feeling changes in accordance with my current mood (ever since my epic mushroom trip one week ago, I have barely noticed it, but it’s definitely still there).

Over the course of the last eight months, I have been working on trauma release - i.e. I’ve literally been shaking and trembling residue stress out of my body and could certainly feel a difference afterwards; but my throat still feels a little blocked.

I am very much fishing in the dark here, so any suggestions are welcome!

My friend, this been a major issue for me too. Shadow work, holotropic breathwork, moldavite crystal, transmissions all helped me purge like a mad man. The throat is also very much correlated with the solar plexus. I can probably guess you've been an empathic guy all your life, have huge trouble expressing (your wishes especially), knowing what you want, having a strong personality, discipline issues etc.

Going to a presentation club like toastmasters might also help. Start talking. Start writing. Use everyday just to make 10 minute videos expressing yourself in your phone. Get accostumed to shame. Make shame your bitch. Start dancing in your living room. Start expressing. You're a unique divine expression. 

[Neph]

Bro do the self-enquiry & if you can continue the spiritual path ?

And do research

Edited January 25, 2020 by Neph

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

@Ero Thanks, do you have any recommendations for physical exercises that might be worth trying? I have attempted to do Leo's shamanic breathing exercise two days ago but pretty much all I got from it were stiff fingers, heh... might give it another shot tonight or tomorrow.

@Visionary "I can probably guess you've been an empathic guy all your life, have huge trouble expressing (your wishes especially), knowing what you want, having a strong personality, discipline issues etc." -- Check, check, check, check and double check, right on the money!

Hm, those are some great suggestions... I have been thinking about joining a Toastmasters club but of course procrastinated the shit out of that idea, lol.

"Make shame your bitch." --  Oh man, I feel the sudden urge to go to the nearest copy shop and print that phrase in capital letters on a T-Shirt. HAHA!

@Neph Thanks pal, I'll keep at it

Edited January 25, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[Ero]

@Bazooka Jesus Yoga in its true form was created to sort out those imbalances. Kriya Yoga is recommended here a lot. I myself have not tried it, yet there's probably a reason for it being credited as a very effective tool. The book list of Leo has some titles on it. I know @Serotoninluv practices Yin Yoga and has spoken of it as an amazing tool, I'm sure he can help. For me running long distances has had freeing and releasing effects (10+ km/6.1+miles) for my whole body, but I do intend on starting a serious Yoga practice. Breathing exercises are very important. Yet I have to note something:

Neither is the way of the Body the only way, neither should you think of it as the exclusive way of sorting those blockages. Your life is an expression of your consciousness and those blockages are feature of it. Changing your way of life is part of the whole work. For example, a lot of my blockages were sorted by slowly changing my life. Becoming more social, approaching fears and so on. Let your whole life become a process.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

@Ero  Yup, I have been thinking about trying Kriya Yoga as well; I will probably get one of those books and see for myself what the hype is all about.

Of course I am working on my life style in general; one of the roadblocks that I am facing over and over again is my natural tendency to retreat into my cushy & comfy turtle shell and live the autistic hermit life... and truth be told, regular meditation and ten day retreats have not exactly proved to be an effective antidote to that, LOL. Well, I have made the solemn oath to start going to meetups again from next month onwards, so let's see how that turns out.

[Ero]

@Bazooka Jesus Very good to hear you've become conscious of it. This was my starting point as well. An all in stoic "hermit". I wish you a pleasant journey, for it absolutely is doable. 

[Eph75]

@Bazooka Jesus you say that people say, that you are a very talkative guy [at times] but that you yourself say that you are introvert.

Are you ok with who you are externally speaking, or are you putting on a facade that is contradicting your inner self, making you torn inside? That kind of stuff can give that kind of sensation when having gone with it for a long time, getting further out of touch with what rings true to you. 

It's not unusual that introverts feel out of place in this time and age where extroversion is highly and falsely valued.

That can also get mixed up with a strong unmet desire, as facades usually mean that inner needs are put aside to fulfull whatever external needs are trying to be met, by putting on that very face/facade.

Anywho, just a theory. 

Edited January 25, 2020 by Eph75

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

@Ero  Thanks!

@Eph75 See, I can talk like a book if I get the chance to talk about stuff that I am genuinely passionate about, but I am desperately incapable of feigning any interest for things that do not interest me (which make up approximately 90% of "normal" people's conversations), let alone be charming on command. When I hang out with others - especially when it's a big group of people - I usually get incredibly bored and frustrated after three hours tops and will just sit there silent as a rock. My favorite situation, other than being by myself of course, is when I get to spend time with one other person, just the two of us (but not for too long, mind you!); the more people I have to talk to at the same time, the worse it gets!

It's true that I always put on a facade to some degree when I am among others - I mean, who doesn't? -, but I suspect that his facade is very flimsy and easy to see through anyway, so I have been working on getting rid of the facade bit by bit, which is very tricky. I mean, if I didn't censor myself, I would just straight up tell people that I don't give a hoot about their bullshit smalltalk, don't know and don't care about the celebrities they adore, don't like the crappy movies they watch and hate the stinking pile of garbage they call music... and who wants to hear that? On the other hand however, whenever I put on my fake "nice guy" mask, I come across as a frightfully dispassionate, lukewarm and probably slightly retarded Prince Valium, which does not work in my favor either. Tricky business indeed!

--- Ah, don't mind me, I'm just talking out of my ass right now, lol. Deep down inside I know that it doesn't matter what others think of me as long as I love myself, so who gives a hoot, right? I guess the message just needs some time to really sink in.

Edited January 25, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[Derek White]

@Bazooka Jesus I have the same problem. The lump gets so severe sometimes that it starts generating heat which goes up to my ears and I get headaches because of the discomfort.

This usually starts happening when:

- I’m working, concentrating, focusing, studying or doing anything that can be deemed “hard-work” I have to do hard work to sustain myself like most people. Also when I try to change the homeostasis (default position) of my life this happens. 

- Suppressing emotions. Like you said when you’re crying.

Basically whenever I try to put effort into anything or do anything difficult or hard my throat starts hurting ?. It feels like suppressing (“suck it up” attitude) and bad stuff happens when people suppress. Somebody please provide some insights into this.

Edited January 28, 2020 by Derek White