Almost given up on self-realisation

[Aaron p]

On 1/21/2020 at 10:41 PM, astrokeen said:

What people here seem to experience without great effort, seems to elude me. Ever since my teens, I've always held the belief that I will gain or experience self-realisation at some point in this life. I knew it was asking a lot given I don't have a consistent meditation practice and even forget about spiritual endeavours when other things get in the way.

I was elated to discover that non-duality could be experienced through psychedelics - the goal seemed achievable. But I still fear that may not come to pass. So, my life will have been lived in vain. That would be ever so depressing.

Are there others like me here? What would you feel if by your life's end you were still trying? 

@astrokeen this is where I got my insight that I call "all or nothing". It's a concept that works in a few different areas and scenarios. Basically the all or nothing concept is an idea that it's better to give it absolutely everything you have, or not at all...and that if you start something and half ass it, you'll have wasted time and money. It would be like starting a business, you have to give it absolutely everything you have (to actually push through and make money) or don't start it whatsoever. If you half ass it you'll spend a shitton of money and spend years digging foundations for something that won't even take off in your life time.

So the conclusion? All or nothing! You have to decide which side of the fence your gonna fall on with regards to spiritual work my friend. It has to be absolutely everything you've got, or not at all. If you make the wise decision you'll decide to go all in on awakening. 

It's time for the gloves to come off motherfucker. It's time to stop doing this shit as though your just some kid following some random teachings online. It's time to man the fuck up, grab enlightenment by the fuckin ballsack and squeeze until it gives you what you want. You have to become relentless like a rabid fucken dog. You have to want enlightenment like you want to breathe as your drowning. You have to be willing to die for this. So if your serious about this, then drop any notion that your just a regular guy who's interested in a website and some philosophy. Enlightenment and spiritual insights won't come easy, but when they come...it will completely transform you. Do harder practises, longer sits, more powerful psychedelics. Let your intuition guide you, to.find out what you are and subsequently what everything is. #selfenquiry #kryia

 

[lmfao]

"Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle
Why God, why God do I gotta bleed?
Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet
Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Earth is no more, why don't you burn this mufucka?" 

[Nahm]

@astrokeen 

If the practices aren’t consistent and enjoyable, there’s probably something worth inspecting. Inspection work is inspecting each thought / perspective. I’d describe it as open mindedness, focusing, tuning in, feeling into it, & applying reason & scrutiny, rather than circular intellectualizing. “The ego” will not want any part of this, initially. Only initially though. The more it is done, the more relief found and the better it feels. In a way, the intellect is being utilized to reveal it’s deeper, whole nature of which it appears to be a part. In the spiritual sense, you might say it’s using the light to shine on the source of itself. It’s liberating, as it loosens & frees identifications along with the perspectives. In this emptying, more illumination can enter, if you will. We realize why we held a perspective...most often, one we didn’t know we were holding. Perspectives in the vein of “that’s just how the world is”, or “that’s how I am” can run deep & unnoticed, and in kind they’re all the more freeing to realize.  This usually triggers great emotional release, followed by lasting clarity & a quieter mind, and intuition & insights.

 

Some other ‘clues’ from this thread, and only you know if this is helpful or not... “what people here seem to experience without great effort”...If I was over emphasizing ’over-believing’ efforting, it would seem like others were doing too little, but it would elude me if I hadn’t inspected my belief / perspective in effort. Also, if you are feeling desire, yearning and urgency...I would listen to that feeling vs deducing it as an obstacle. That would make sense, but much further down the path. For now, it strikes me as a sort of selective listening. 

 

[astrokeen]

@Nahm , thank you. This is very helpful

[Petals]

as they say - 'it is not an experience'. it's hard to comprehend for me, but this teaching comes up so often that you have to take it seriously.

then this right now is somehow the essential experience (or non-experience).

any new experience would just more of what you already have.

[VeganAwake]

It's reality without any conditioned filters or judgments about it... seeing the world with childlike eyes again.

An unknowing....