How Does One Develop Self-Love? (lower or uppercase)

[Farnaby]

33 minutes ago, Commodent said:

@Farnaby Yes, and those physical sensations are not you either. Only a part of you. Have you ever noticed someone who might seem very insecure in their body language, and yet they seem perfectly fine with it? That's because they are grounded in their whole self. Now, contrast that with someone who is full of inner conflict and overly identify with that insecure part of themselves.

That's interesting. I've actually never met someone like that. Insecure people don't seem grounded to me, but maybe that's because I resonate with that body language and whenever I'm manifesting such a body language I don't feel grounded at all. The opposite is actually true for me, when I can accept the physical sensations they tend to go away, I feel more secure and my body language is more secure too. 

[Commodent]

@Farnaby  It is not just insecurity, though. Could be anger, sadness, grief, embarrassment, whatever. Like a situation where someone is angry but people are just okay with it, find it funny even, because they recognize he is coming from a place of acceptance. There is an added layer of perspective to his anger, you know? What matters isn't necessarily what you're feeling, but rather your attitude to it. In fact, when you express your dark side from a place of love people often find it intensely relieving and will usually burst out laughing, as it transmits the message that it is okay for them to have these feelings and that they don't need to have their straitjacket on around you. Stand-up comedians are masters at this.

Yesterday I was at an event where the hosts wanted us to gather in a circle around them. Since we were at a cafeteria there were tables and chairs in our presence, but the hosts gave us no instruction on whether we were to sit or stand, so some people would be standing awkwardly while others were sitting. At that moment I was insecure, as there was no clear information of what they expected us to do. But at the same time I wasn't really insecure, because I am not ashamed of that feeling. In fact, the insecurity of the crowd is useful information to the hosts and a sign they should probably exert more control. So there is really no need to demonize insecurity.

[Farnaby]

15 minutes ago, Commodent said:

@Farnaby  It is not just insecurity, though. Could be anger, sadness, grief, embarrassment, whatever. Like a situation where someone is angry but people are just okay with it, find it funny even, because they recognize he is coming from a place of acceptance. There is an added layer of perspective to his anger, you know? What matters isn't necessarily what you're feeling, but rather your attitude to it. In fact, when you express your dark side from a place of love people often find it intensely relieving and will usually burst out laughing, as it transmits the message that it is okay for them to have these feelings and that they don't need to have their straitjacket on around you. Stand-up comedians are masters at this.

Yesterday I was at an event where the hosts wanted us to gather in a circle around them. Since we were at a cafeteria there were tables and chairs in our presence, but the hosts gave us no instruction on whether we were to sit or stand, so some people would be standing awkwardly while others were sitting. At that moment I was insecure, as there was no clear information of what they expected us to do. But at the same time I wasn't really insecure, because I am not ashamed of that feeling. In fact, the insecurity of the crowd is useful information to the hosts and a sign they should probably exert more control. So there is really no need to demonize insecurity.

Oh I see what you mean. Kind of like when you feel comfortable showing your flaws and even joking about them. I thought you meant insecure people who are showing insecure body language. For me insecure body language (tense, not looking in the eyes, trembling voice, agitation, etc.) = not grounded. 

Lol I totally get what you mean, seems like an awkward situation. It's interesting how most of us need some guidance and structure to feel safe.

[ThinAir]