How to stop homosexuality?

[Buba]

16 minutes ago, Rebecca Kalamata said:

One part of breaking all the taboos to get at TRUTH was confronting/learning about homosexuality in both men and women. So I tried being sexual with other women, friends, strangers, threesomes. I trained as a sex surrogate, I worked for years with a person on my own sexual issues. I read and watched countless hours of porn. The whole point was to really comprehend human sexuality without any of the religious and cultural biases.

I'll never forget the first time I watched a tape of 2 men MAKING LOVE. Not fucking, actually making love. I was astounded. This whole thing of passive/dominance is cultural crap. You are creating a rabbit hole of fear and obsession. I was stunned to realize that fuck yes! If I was a man I would be bi-sexual. You guys have so much more to DO sexually together. For example, having one's prostrate gland poked and prodded is apparently incredible. Females don't get to have that experience. On the other hand, a cock in the butt takes some getting used to and can seriously interfer with ones sphincter muscle control. Perhaps one might simply fantasize about it and have a nice time that way. On the other hand, due to the shit factor, I'd want to really be involved with someone to want to run my dick into their butt if I had a dick.

Here in Greece, traditionally men are not considered to be homosexual unless they are passive. Crap to an American. Yet at the same time we all know that that is the situation in our prisons. But it is NEVER talked about with guys who have been incarcerated. In Greece there are 2 epitaphs that the language is peppered with. 'To pusti' the homo, and 'to malakas' the masturbator.  Like if someone drops something they might say, "To Pusti!" instead of "Oh shit". 

Any kind of physical stimulation will get a physical response. Combine taboo and subconscious arousal tapes from infancy onward and one has a recipe for what I used to call kinks. One can form a sexual identity upon their kinks and turn them into obsession by denial and/or constantly running over them mentally.

I am astounded by the numbers of people who are going through psychoanalysis these days. I thought it had been replaced by therapy.  Perhaps I'll open a thread about it.

I never got anything from therapy and medication. Nothing at all. Psychoanalysis on the other hand is very powerful. But dangerous. What we repress we dont see at all and are scared of very much.

I cant accept myself. I still find men disgusting to make love with in reality. But I guess releasing repressed emotions it can change. I am in a trap. I really dont want to be attracted to men. Men are my brothers, my tribe. I hope God will have mercy on me.

[Buba]

3 hours ago, docs20 said:

Try to go to a psychiatrist who treats OCDs: tell him about your situation, show him what you have found about this kind of OCD, and ask him what he thinks about it. Cause many things from your story, my  own personal experience, but also from my medical experience in the field, etc, give me more than a hit of doubt that it might be omosexual OCD, so it's one of the hypothesis worth to consider, since it's something that is life-changing. If it's really OCD your course of action in life will be totally different, and probably more in sync with your Middle East culture.

You said that you're seeing a psychoanalist, which is totally different from what I'm suggesting you, cause many of them don't even know about this kind of form of OCDs (most just know about the clear most famous ones, that even people that never studied anything in life know).

What would have to lose by going to ask for a consulation by them? Almost nothing. What's there to gain: more clarity on your situation.

If I go to therapy they will say it is OCD, and I will have a conflict to whom should I believe.

@bejapuskas

All my friends are heterosexual and despise gays. 

@Salvijus

I would prefer to be asexual rather than bisexual.

Edited January 20, 2020 by Buba

[Meetjoeblack]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

You can eliminate absolutely every desire or every craving or every bodily reaction if you want.

You can eliminate your attraction not only to men but also to women. Being attracted to women is just as bad as being attracted to man. Only someone who's not attracted to anything is normal. If you're attracted to god that's also acceptiable.

No but seriously you can dissolve absolutely everything. But are you willing to work for that, that's a big question mark because it could take some years maybe dacades to achieve it. The least you could do is meditate yourself to the point where you can accept yourself the way you are.

Good luck.

That's called castration or chemical castration. That's inhuman. 

Just dont do gay stuff. Problem solved lol. 

[Leo Gura]

@Buba

Look, just work on it. Obviously acceptance here won't happen in a week.

This is something you work on as part of your spiritual work.

[Jonac]

@Buba embrace your homosexuality

[Strangeloop]

You might want to check out my self actualization journal, called "Becoming Gay"

I feel you bro, I'm going through the same suffering.

In the journal I put all my thoughts about being gay, you might want to start your own one if you want to or just keep on track with my one

[Yog]

@Buba  Try this, completely accept your condition, surrender, let it go. Its fine as it is. Love the complexity of your being.

You are a sexual cocktail anyway, the reason this is rising might be because you were holding against it too hard. Not because you are gay or bi. I've been doing energy work and semen retention for extended periods. Do you know how it feels when you are in the peak of it. You want to twist your dick and stuff it up your ass, fuck the soil, or a tree. it is..... that intense, you want to both fuck yourself and fuck with everything else.

The thing is, if you accept it, it wont be a force that is dedicated of defeating you, it will become a part of you, that you have better control over. it is counter intuitive. You will be surprised by the amount of freedom you will get.
If you fight it it will just get more intense and the unconscious part of you will want to act upon it, just to see what is this thing you are fighting so strong against is like.

imagine if you've suddenly gone blind and you know you'll be like that for life. How do you cope with it, fight it every day... no man.. you accept it for life. Its probably the only, the only skill worth acquiring. you'll have to deal with breakups, ,death of close people, your own death. Everything changes form..forever...you change, forever. You accept it.

Also. Meditate!

Edit:
Didn't see it was a 3 pager, looked like 1 pager.
Good advice along the board, just think and work it trough bro.

Edited January 20, 2020 by Yog

[Farnaby]

@Buba Hi! I think it makes perfect sense that you're having such a hard time accepting your thoughts and feelings, since you live in a homophobic culture. I don't know how homophobic it is, but even if homosexual people are not put in jail or killed, if your culture rejects them, you feel in danger of being rejected. As social beings, we fear rejection because deep down we equate it to the possibility of being unable to survive. 

It's not uncommon to develop intrusive thoughts about the thing we fear most when growing up in such an environment. Whenever there is too much repression of something, we tend to get fixated on that very thing. What I'm trying to say is that you may not actually be homosexual (although you may be, that's something you shouldn't let anyone define for you, not us, not a psychoanalyst, etc.), but get those intrusive thoughts, fantasies, etc., because of how scary it would be to actually be homosexual in your society.

Anyways, whether you're homosexual or not, the way to transcend your suffering is the same: letting go of judgement and beating yourself up, in order to be able to accept yourself the way you are. I know this may sound impossible right now (precisely because it's regarded as such a bad thing in your culture) and it will probably take time, but it's worth it IMO.

I wish you the best!

[Ananta]

On 1/19/2020 at 11:00 AM, Austin Actualizing said:

Accept being bi-sexual. There is nothing wrong with that. Attraction is not a choice 

You can choose to not act on it though. If you so choose.

[Preety_India]

Powerful keyword 

 

 

Embrace

 

 

[inFlow]

@Buba Yesterday I thought about your situation, and I realized that you are going through a spiritual purification process. You are cutting through bullshit ego constructed concepts (illusions) of the mind, the thing with you is that it probably came too fast and unexpected. It the end it comes for everyone. Leo talked a bit about these things in the video "The dark side of meditation". Too bad he hasn't talked about this gay/lesbian thing in depth. But that would be a very hard pill to swallow for the majority of viewers.

[Buba]

1 hour ago, inFlow said:

@Buba Yesterday I thought about your situation, and I realized that you are going through a spiritual purification process. You are cutting through bullshit ego constructed concepts (illusions) of the mind, the thing with you is that it probably came too fast and unexpected. It the end it comes for everyone. Leo talked a bit about these things in the video "The dark side of meditation". Too bad he hasn't talked about this gay/lesbian thing in depth. But that would be a very hard pill to swallow for the majority of viewers.

I am 32, and always felt and acted like a heterosexual. I always liked girls very much. All my relations with people are based on my heterosexuality. Now when I feel something weird in the presence of a man whom I know for years, I hate the life. I have never thought such a thing could happen. 

Let other people be gay. I am ok with them. But I dont want to be gay. For example I would rather live an ordinary life than to live an enlightened life in a monastery. Because I like to live my life. I enjoy my connections. Gayness destroys those connections.

I am angry at people who dont let science work on gayness and find medicine to change it if somebody wants to change it. Millions of people want to change. 

Are there any scientific projects which aim to find a medicine or the like to stop homosexuality? I would devote my whole life to such a research.

Edited January 21, 2020 by Buba

[Consept]

@Buba like someone said earlier I really think you should consider that it might be homosexual ocd, I have suffered with this on and off although its improved a lot. I'm a little concerned that the answers you're getting here, although well meaning, could actually make you worse, if it is ocd that is. 

Ultimately the solution is acceptance, you accept the possibility that you could be gay and either that's true or you realise it's just your mind. I've pulled up some questions online that attempt to work out whether it might be ocd or not, please read through and answer, either on here or to yourself. If it is ocd note that when you have that it feels really real and you want to get reassurance, as in you want to 'sort out' the problem or have certainty about it, this is all part of the condition, everything must be accepted - 

1) Do you constantly worry or fear an unwanted change in your sexual orientation? For instance: Fearing that you will become gay when you are straight.

2) Do you worry that you are attracted to members of the same sex, such as strangers, friends, or celebrities, when you currently identify as heterosexual? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

3) Do you worry that you are NOT attracted to members of the opposite sex (if you’re straight) and that ‘that might mean’ that you are gay? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

4) Do you worry that others may think you are the opposite sexual orientation from which you identify? For example: A straight man thinking “If my legs are crossed, do my guy friends think I’m gay?”

5) Have you ever checked your genitals for arousal after seeing someone of the same sex? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual. For example: After viewing an arousing scene on TV, you worry that you were aroused by a character of the same sex even though you identify as straight. Or, you worry that you were not attracted ‘enough’ to a character of the opposite sex, even though you identify as straight.

6) Have you looked at same sex pornography and worried about if you were aroused? Or have you viewed opposite sex pornography and worried that you were not attracted/aroused enough?

7) Do you avoid watching TV or movies that contain homosexual characters? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

8) Do you worry that you have hidden same sex desires that you just haven’t acted upon yet? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

9) Do you search the internet for answers about your sexuality? For Example, Googling “How do I know if I’m gay?” Have you read sexuality blogs online to find evidence of whether you may be gay? Or have you read coming out stories looking for answers and/or reassurance of your sexual orientation.

10) Do you avoid sexual encounters because you worry that you may have a thought about a member of the same sex? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

11) Do you avoid sexual encounters out of a fear that you won’t be able perform?  For Example: Worrying that if you can’t get aroused by a woman that it might be evidence that you are gay?

12) Have you asked others for reassurance about your sexuality? For instance, constantly asking your friends if they think you’re gay when you’re straight.

*This checklist is not intended to serve as a replacement for a diagnosis by a qualified licensed psychologist

[Shin]

On 1/19/2020 at 4:06 PM, Buba said:

I have always been attracted only to women. Now because of psychoanalysis I started to release repressed gayness. It is awful. I feel attracted to men as well. You will say homosexuality is normal. Yes it is.  But I dont want to be attracted to men. The whole my life was constructed on brotherhood. I enjoy it. Being gay destroys my life.

Please, tell me any method which will keep me only straight. I know it sounds absurd, everybody says it is impossible to stop homosexuality. But I still have hope.

May be some kind of vizualizations or affirmations or other things or medication may help.

Why do you want to repress something that would make you genuinely happy ?

What you are trying to do, is the same thing as repressing your passion for a carrier, and continuing to work a job you feel dull doing, just because it is more acceptable to be a nobody that someone who is happy to work.

I would gladly suck every dick I feel appealing if that was the case, why not, I would enjoy it.

Big fat cock in my mouth !

Too bad I only like crazy emotional mess, I mean woman sorry

 

[Buba]

55 minutes ago, Consept said:

@Buba like someone said earlier I really think you should consider that it might be homosexual ocd, I have suffered with this on and off although its improved a lot. I'm a little concerned that the answers you're getting here, although well meaning, could actually make you worse, if it is ocd that is. 

Ultimately the solution is acceptance, you accept the possibility that you could be gay and either that's true or you realise it's just your mind. I've pulled up some questions online that attempt to work out whether it might be ocd or not, please read through and answer, either on here or to yourself. If it is ocd note that when you have that it feels really real and you want to get reassurance, as in you want to 'sort out' the problem or have certainty about it, this is all part of the condition, everything must be accepted - 

1) Do you constantly worry or fear an unwanted change in your sexual orientation? For instance: Fearing that you will become gay when you are straight.

2) Do you worry that you are attracted to members of the same sex, such as strangers, friends, or celebrities, when you currently identify as heterosexual? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

3) Do you worry that you are NOT attracted to members of the opposite sex (if you’re straight) and that ‘that might mean’ that you are gay? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

4) Do you worry that others may think you are the opposite sexual orientation from which you identify? For example: A straight man thinking “If my legs are crossed, do my guy friends think I’m gay?”

5) Have you ever checked your genitals for arousal after seeing someone of the same sex? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual. For example: After viewing an arousing scene on TV, you worry that you were aroused by a character of the same sex even though you identify as straight. Or, you worry that you were not attracted ‘enough’ to a character of the opposite sex, even though you identify as straight.

6) Have you looked at same sex pornography and worried about if you were aroused? Or have you viewed opposite sex pornography and worried that you were not attracted/aroused enough?

7) Do you avoid watching TV or movies that contain homosexual characters? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

8) Do you worry that you have hidden same sex desires that you just haven’t acted upon yet? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

9) Do you search the internet for answers about your sexuality? For Example, Googling “How do I know if I’m gay?” Have you read sexuality blogs online to find evidence of whether you may be gay? Or have you read coming out stories looking for answers and/or reassurance of your sexual orientation.

10) Do you avoid sexual encounters because you worry that you may have a thought about a member of the same sex? And vice versa for those who identify as homosexual.

11) Do you avoid sexual encounters out of a fear that you won’t be able perform?  For Example: Worrying that if you can’t get aroused by a woman that it might be evidence that you are gay?

12) Have you asked others for reassurance about your sexuality? For instance, constantly asking your friends if they think you’re gay when you’re straight.

*This checklist is not intended to serve as a replacement for a diagnosis by a qualified licensed psychologist

I go to psychoanalysis. He said I had repressed my passive gay feelings and wants very hard. Then I started to release them and with every release I felt feminine and gay. So it is not OCD.

43 minutes ago, Shin said:

Why do you want to repress something that would make you genuinely happy ?

What you are trying to do, is the same thing as repressing your passion for a carrier, and continuing to work a job you feel dull doing, just because it is more acceptable to be a nobody that someone who is happy to work.

I would gladly suck every dick I feel appealing if that was the case, why not, I would enjoy it.

Big fat cock in my mouth !

Too bad I only like crazy emotional mess, I mean woman sorry

 

I always dreamed to love and marry a girl  

[FourSeasons]

8 minutes ago, Buba said:

 

I always dreamed to love and marry a girl  

U can! 

This man @inFlow is my husband. We are happily married, and he just shared that he feels gay and i am totally okay. Why, because he didnt supressed his emotions he accepted it and cherished. So he feels free and happy and I can say, he even wants me more. So its not that accepting you are gay, you dont feel atraction to woman, actually it can be totally opposite.

So please let go the fear and accept it. 

Its amazing. And its not a fantasy or dream scenario I am writting but real life story.

Wish you love and peace ❤️?

Edited January 21, 2020 by FourSeasons
Typing

[Consept]

@Buba you seem pretty convinced that the psychoanalyst is correct, I don't know how you feel so if you honestly feel gay and you answered all those questions I posted in the negative then you really should just accept you are gay and get on with it. Personally I'm not convinced you are but either way it's gonna be a journey for you, so good luck with it 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Buba said:

I go to psychoanalysis. He said I had repressed my passive gay feelings and wants very hard. Then I started to release them and with every release I felt feminine and gay. So it is not OCD.

I always dreamed to love and marry a girl  

Maybe you will, maybe you won't.

What matters is how genuine you are with yourself, that's the only way true happiness will ever be a part of your life.
If you reject your attraction for men, then it will never be possible to be happy, because you basically reject what you really want.

It feels negative now because it threatens your identity, but it was a fake identity all along, get rid of it.
Be so internally emotionally open and honest that no matter what happens, you're still gonna be happy.

That is painful in the beginning, but only because you lived a lie all your life, wanting certain things because you think it will make you happy.
Throw all that shit in the trashbin and live your life as you truly feel it, then there will never be a contradictory feeling in you telling you that you're lying to yourself.

That's what negative feelings are, contradictions in your head, often about what is true and what you believe is true.
Problem is an ego lives by lying, because itself is a lie.

So if you really want to grow, in any part of your life, and feel really amazing (way more than you can imagine now), then you have to be 100% honest about how you feel, what you want, what you don't want and be transparent to yourself really.

That is ugly in the beginning because you have to see that your whole life was basically telling you you're a good person, or a straight person, or a ... person, but reality is you're none of that, you can't define yourself if you're honest, and that's what you're afraid of.

It's really just a shame honestly, it hurts because you are used to think you are a certain kind of person, but does it matters to you when you dream that you're getting fucked by a guy ? Most likely not, and this is because in your dreams there is not an ego to tell itself "I am a straight person !", there is only joy, fun and love.

Want joy, fun and love all the time ?
Let go of what you think you are, 100% of the time.

Everyone can do it, the one that says otherwise can't do it because they told themselves they can't do it, not because they can't

[Buba]

Thank you very much, guys. I will try to accept myself. I dont have any other option, anyway. I hope this self tormenting voice will shut up.

By the way if I really become attracted to men over terapy and releasing repressed emotions, can I just accept feelings but not act on them? Will it create another conflict?

23 minutes ago, Consept said:

@Buba you seem pretty convinced that the psychoanalyst is correct, I don't know how you feel so if you honestly feel gay and you answered all those questions I posted in the negative then you really should just accept you are gay and get on with it. Personally I'm not convinced you are but either way it's gonna be a journey for you, so good luck with it 

I feel the emotions myself  It is not just blind trust in psychoanalytic.

[Consept]

40 minutes ago, Buba said:

Thank you very much, guys. I will try to accept myself. I dont have any other option, anyway. I hope this self tormenting voice will shut up.

By the way if I really become attracted to men over terapy and releasing repressed emotions, can I just accept feelings but not act on them? Will it create another conflict?

I feel the emotions myself  It is not just blind trust in psychoanalytic.

40 minutes ago, Buba said:

 

@Buba

Right but you do know that people with ocd are convinced that they are let's say in this case gay, they are looking for reasons why they might be gay constantly. As I understand it if you were actually gay you'd more worry about coming out to your family and friends and whether you'd be accepted in society, the worry isn't actually if you're gay or not. 

Let me ask you this, have you ever been really worried about something before? Something that was just on your mind constantly and you couldn't shift it no matter what you did?