Weed and abnormality.

[Dylan Page]

So I smoked some weed and things all the sudden felt super, super different. I am used to the world being a certain way and when that was messed with I felt very uncomfortable and everything felt random. I felt like I was in some sort of psychedelic world where nothing is static and everything was abnormal as fuck. What should I take from this experience? I tried to let go as Leo’s video explained but I really could not feel ok. Everything felt so awful, so confusing and I just wanted to get out. 

[Aaron p]

On 1/19/2020 at 1:28 AM, Dylan Page said:

So I smoked some weed and things all the sudden felt super, super different. I am used to the world being a certain way and when that was messed with I felt very uncomfortable and everything felt random. I felt like I was in some sort of psychedelic world where nothing is static and everything was abnormal as fuck. What should I take from this experience? I tried to let go as Leo’s video explained but I really could not feel ok. Everything felt so awful, so confusing and I just wanted to get out. 

@Dylan Page oh my God man, try DMT lol. Everything meshes together and becomes weird as fuckingggg fuck. Fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck. Nothing makes sense in these psychedelic realms. Careful with weed, it'll make you extremely anxious if not taken very carefully. Weed made me feel super bad for years and I didn't even know it was the weed. 

By the way, don't consume sugar when your smoking it. It kills the high

[Leo Gura]

On 1/18/2020 at 5:28 PM, Dylan Page said:

I felt like I was in some sort of psychedelic world where nothing is static and everything was abnormal as fuck.

That was your comfortable ego-world of self-constructed meanings being revealed to be relative, biased, and imaginary.

Ta-da! You constructed "reality" to suit your survival.

It's like you've were born a rich kid and lived in a gated community your whole life and then one day you accidentally venture outside the gate and see poor people living in misery, toiling to put food on your banquet table.

[Dylan Page]

@Leo Gura I had another experience like this and I wasn’t even on drugs. The second I got out of high school and I asked myself what the fuck I am gonna do, I all in one moment realized that A) I’m gonna die, and B) that the world is a lot different and bigger than my small little high school reality. I freaked the absolute fuck out and was shivering and all that shit. Couldn’t sleep for days and lost like 15 pounds. I’m used to it now but when your world is so small and so limited and it gets forcefully ripped open like that, it really is quite a shock. 

[Dylan Page]

@Aaron p yeah idk about that man lol, I’ll have to give it some time. I get really fucking miserable sometimes when I confront some of this stuff. But I’m definitely open to it when I feel I’m ready. 

[Leo Gura]

Learn to enjoy mindfuckry.

[Dylan Page]

@Leo Gura With time

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Dylan Page said:

@Leo Gura With time

Time too is a mindfuck

Mindfuckery all around.

[Dylan Page]

@Leo Gura eh man, at this point I’m getting a little used to the radical perspective shifts, I just get kind of disturbed by all the suffering in the world. Doesn’t make any sense. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Dylan Page said:

@Leo Gura I just get kind of disturbed by all the suffering in the world. Doesn’t make any sense. 

Why doesn't it make sense? Unconsciousness leads to suffering.

[Dylan Page]

I watched an article on this 17 year old little girl who lost her memory function. She got “reset” every 2 hours or so. I cannot fucking imagine living like that. I would be so scared and sad. Everything a human being aspires for in life depends on a sort of history and future. You would be stuck in a loop until you die. The thought of being in that experiences sounds like actual hell, yet there is a girl in the real world who actually has to go through that. It’s just like, why? Why would any current age human being want that. And why would that be something “god” creates.

Edited January 20, 2020 by Dylan Page

[Leo Gura]

9 minutes ago, Dylan Page said:

It’s just like, why? Why would any current age human being want that. And why would that be something “god” creates.

Love

I know it doesn't make sense to you now. But maybe one day it will.

Terrible things are not a refutation of Love, they are a confirmation of Love's infinitude. You just have to really widen your scope on the world.

[Dylan Page]

@Leo Gura Haha maybe, but the thing that scares me is that I’ll die before I discover it. And I mean physically. That is definitely my greatest fear and the thought that it could happen to me is fucking terrifying. 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Dylan Page said:

@Leo Gura Haha maybe, but the thing that scares me is that I’ll die before I discover it. And I mean physically. That is definitely my greatest fear and the thought that it could happen to me is fucking terrifying. 

Your death WILL be the discovery of it.

Don't worry, you can't die without it. What you call "death" is none other than Infinite Love!

[Dylan Page]

@Leo Gura I also have this strong desire for reality to be grounded in a sense. I want there to be some sort of home base because sometimes I’ll just look around me and think “where the fuck am I?” “Why here?”. It all feels so random. Do you find a sense of grounding in the groundless?

[Leo Gura]

@Dylan Page Yes, the ground is Nothingness/Consciousness.

The home base is YOU! But it's empty. There's nothing there.

There is no better grounding than Absolute Truth.

[Aaron p]

@Leo Gura I love that analogy you used one time man. You said that it's like your looking for a needle in a haystack, but the "needle", is the realisation that there is no needle ?the ground is that there is no ground