90 days challenge at least an hour meditation per day

[OmniYoga]

in short I've been meditating 4-5 years but in a short amount of time  manners - 20 to 30 minutes per day, not quite satisfied with results

I want see if I increase the time span, how this will me affect me

I started yesterday,
 so day1 behind me -
there were periods of steady focus,  but also a lot of mind wondering and lost in thoughts

I make this journal to keep tracking myself
I bought cushion to meditate so I'm hyped about - haha I guess I'm materialist

[OmniYoga]

Day2

btw the technique that I use is focousing on the breath - and return to it if mind start to wonder,

I ate baguette with garlic before the session and I wasn't a good idea
I struggle to attain steady mind focus for almost whole session,
I'm not sure did I even maintain meditate state for a moment

reflection is that 
if food can influance meditate state and its performance
then that leads me to thinking that consciousness it's rather not a seprate thing -
it's deeply connected with the body and mind - rather like a system
therefore I had no idea so far why they preach in spiritual world - you're not the body - you're not the mind
when the evidances shows otherwise ...

[OmniYoga]

Day3
this time for empty stomach - this works best for me

steady focus for almost entire session - very little unconscious wondering
I was sharp in cutting of thoughts
labaled everything fast as "it's just a thought" and go back to breath

and then something weird happned - music started to play in brain 
weird beacuse it wasn't like the thoughts I usually have - more like a background sound, like from a deeper level of the mind  ... I didn't know how to leg go of it - just I was just aware of it
when I was labeling everything that came as "it's just a thought"
2 funny thoughts came in:

"what if my experience is just a thought?"
"what if I am just a thought?"

Observations:

I felt like my head is getting havier and havier with every miunte ... like I am sitting there with a stone instead of head ...
I became so exhausted during this practice, that I felt asleep for about 20 minutes almost right after - im not sure is it becasue of trying to hold attention so "thight" - but I'd bet on that

 

 

[OmniYoga]

Day4

I left meditation at the end of the day - that's not good idea,and I fell asleep

despite the fact that there were no particly reason to do it eariler

Day5 same story - self sabogate

waiting for the end of the day - only remain for 30 minutes

Day6

I learn the lesson hopefull -  meditate right after wake up
huge cloud in my mind like a mist - it's the best way I can describite

very low attention control - wondering like crazy each minute or so
im not sure is this effect of not proper sleep? that'd be my bet,

I also experienced that in  the past - I had periods of time being alert and present,  clarity
and then it's gone and I become depressed, confused etc

[OmniYoga]

Day9

 

remaning for an hour became hard - my mind find everything more interesting then meditation

exuses come in to stop meditation like - i'm hungry, unconfortable positon, tiredness, boringness, doing something more productive etc

also a thing I've noticed is that I developed ego around this journal - kind of self - trap
I started to thinking what I will write, how  will I describe it, what I have noticed etc ...