Why Most Meditators Fail

[Julian]

If you have tried meditation you certainly know how hard it is to get started. There are two main reasons why people are unable to start this habit.

They are either bored or frustrated.

There are two solutions to this. One is to force it, want it enough and just stick with the habit until it becomes part of your daily routine. This is how I did it.

There is, however, a much better way.

Let me say this quickly. There has been a lot of research on optimal experience since the rise of positive psychology. One is especially relevant here. The work of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi and his concept of flow.

This is the chart. The vertical axis represents the difficulty of a task and the horizontal your skill-level at it. When both levels match each other we have flow. And as you can see it doesn't have to be exact. A slight mismath is allowed here.

Here's the trick. If we go above the flow line (where the challenge is greater than your skill) you will necessarily feel overwhelmed and anxious. If your are below (in other words, if it is too easy for you) you will feel bored.

I would suspect that most starting-out meditators feel overwhelmed by what they are trying to do ("Stop thinking, I cannot stop thinking!") and therefore give up after a while because they don't think they can do it.

A good way to start as a beginner is to do the 'Do-Nothing' technique. All you do in that is to sit, move little or not at all, and let whatever happen happen.

Personally I like the breath count. The instructions are simple. Pick one aspect of your breath, say the feeling of air going into your nostrils, and count x iterations of that. Maybe you start with five, and if five is to easy for you do ten. Maybe ten is too hard and seven is where you should be. See if you can get into the flow state, where you challenge and your skill math each other.

After that I like to do what I would call coasting. (You know how when you drive and leave your foot from the gas how the car is still rolling). The same things happens in meditation. So at the end of your meditation try coasting a little. Your attention tends to rest where you were even if you don't try to.

Edited February 8, 2016 by Julian

[Prabhaker]

On 2/8/2016 at 10:27 PM, Julian said:

Why Most Meditators Fail

The journey to the self is the most difficult journey. It is like walking on the razor's edge. This is perhaps why you run away from the self and get involved in mundane things. And this is perhaps why, even though knowledge of the self attracts the mind you do not have the necessary courage. Some fear grips you.

It is very difficult. You will have to walk alone. The most difficult part of it is that in this world, everywhere you can go with others. However, there is one place where you will have to go alone. No wife, no brother, no friend, not even the guru, can go along with you. At best the guru can show the way. Buddha shows the way. That is all! You must go alone!

We are afraid to be alone. There are so many people around us, so many dreams. Some of these dreams are very pleasant, very interesting. A few outstanding people break this web of dreams and set out on the path. Of these, many turn back halfway.