Holotropic breathing/Rebirthing: 1.5 hour session report

[moon777light]

wow, all i can say is wowww, what an experience.

I did this in a group setting, with one facilitator/therapist and us. I was extremmmmeeellly anxious and stiff,  not just because of doing the session but meeting new people.

We all had tea served before the session to relax and the therapist explained the process/peoples experieince/whats happens and that everything is allowed, to not feel inhibited at any time. Then we started. My analytical mind just started raging like what if this doesnt work, what if other people purge but you dont, etc. I continued and around 15 min mark(?) i started feeling tingling everyyywhere, but especially my hands, they clasped together in that weird ball and people usually do during holotripic breathing...then..then started the yelling. I started letting out just bursts of yelling and feelt anger rise up everywhere, thrashing my limbs sometimes, just anger. There was also a battle going on between the logical/analytical mind and the emotional mind. MY logical kept popping in saying "wow im doing this" or "jezzus what osund is that guy producing" lol, and i had to try my harrrrdest to just opn up and let go, let the experience engulf me. I was spitting out so muh and coughing, INtense coughing that came from the depths of my lungs, same intensity as when one pukes. I started making crying noises and grimaces, n tears came out. im not sure how muhc this all lasted because you get carried away in the experience. Then a time of peacefulness and lovingness washed over me and all i could think about is how much i love life. Then a huge wave of fear, and again screaming, but this time in fear. Its sounds scary, but it feels so good to let all that shit out. After that, pretty much everyone calmed down, stopped the intense breathing, and we were all chilling. The facilitator started playing crystal singing bowls and i started seeing the coolest patterns in my eyes, and which each different singing bowl hit, the pattern changed!!! They looked EXACTLY like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvJAgrUBF4w

AFter that blissfulness, it was quiet and i could feel the therapist ringing an instrument on top of each one of us. That also put me into a trance-like state where i met my painbody. It was incredible. I actually felt motionally the pain body that is responsible for my anxiety, my fear, my judgements, my envy, and all that. The Shadow Self. And not only that, i actually saw  the face of this shadow self, and i accepted her and loved her and i could feel how she hugged my body and almost as if she went inside , engulfing me, like how it looks in movies when ghosts pass through someone.  I then realized how much my mind is actually in "shadow mode" literally ALL THE TIME. I also felt how slowly after we got ourselves together, sat up and talked about the experience, how it slowly creeped back in, taking over my thinking, filling my thinking with stories and negative thoughts. But since i was more aware of it, i could see it more for what it is, and how easier it is to get through that blockade.

Overall AMAZING experience and showed me myself haha  also i never felt more relaxed in my life by the end of the session <3 Its also a great prepatory session for my psychdelic experience, which i plan to do, and i firsthand now see how important it is to not be afraid of the fear coming up, and instead to invite it in and embrace it. To let go, and enjoy the ride. 

Much love to all yall <3

[Gneh Onebar]

@moon777light  Cool, thanks for sharing! I tried holotropic breathing a few times alone at home and had good results. Did you had any visuals like childhood or other memorys popping up? After session I am always really hungry and feel like being on a small dose of MDMA.

[moon777light]

@Gneh Onebar i had visuals like the youtube video i posted above, really distinct, and looked so similar to those patterns. Also saw some hallucinations but very discreet. As for memories, no childhoods memories appeared, even though i heard its common. I used to do it alone at home, but this group setting with a therapist was so much more intense and uncovered a lot.