Confidence and detachment

[Marinus]

I see confidence as trusting in your abilities and skills and lack in in confidence is insecurity. I haven't learned much about duality, but I notice it all the time and this is no exception. If you have confidence in something than you will be insecure about something else. I can't see these two things as separate. People say "have confidence", "men/women like confidence", "in your career you need confidence" etc. 

Something that looks similar to confidence is detachement. Detachment and confidence look the same on the surface. I see confidence as having faith in creating a certain outcome while detachement is not adding value to the outcome. For example: a confident person expects to win the race while a detached person expects nothing and is okay with either outcome. Confidence is like a level of trust in oneself while detachment is not needing to trust oneself. I see confidence as a notion someone with a lower conscious has while a higher conscious person doesn't need this anymore. 

I want to know your opinions. Do I understand the difference or am I completely wrong?

The reason for thinking about this is that I think it's more beneficial to me to become detached instead of becoming confident. It seems to me that becoming detached skims away a lot of crap you have to deal with instead of when you try to become confident. For example: becoming an "alpha male" requires confidence while being detached doesn't need to be alpha, because at point it's just a silly notion.

I'm slowly getting in stage yellow I think since I feel like my belief systems are changing. For some reason I get the feeling that many people I see and act around me are children. I don't mean this in a degrading way, but more seeing the innocence and unawareness in people and being okay with them being like that instead of trying to change people by convincing them. It's a weird feeling to see the world in this way and I slowly lose the feeling of "being better than..." and I think it's because of becoming more detached. Instead of me being in the story I see people more as the story and me as the observer as if I watch a film or something. 

It's kind of difficult to convey what I think and feel in words. I wonder when you are being detached. I can't say that there is a separation between attachment and detachement. Right now I'm less detached to certain things and still highly attached to others and when I notice me being attached, my self at that moment becomes a child and feels highly threatened when my attachment is challenged. 

I think observing all of this is key. I think most of this development is thanks to meditation. What are your thoughts on this? And thank you for reading.