Leo Said Things

[Uchira]

I had been asking myself what am i supposed to do or be or think

I have times that i realized how i used to blame myself for living like a dog. I used to say myself that i have to do what i am supposed to do too many times. In doing so, I am  here in Japan receiving Japanese government scholarship 1500$ monthly ( pretty enough to me to survive). But now i feel like i studied my ass off because of my neurotic motivation. I feel like this kind of motivation is not last longer. i got depressed. But Leo said "world should be as it is". He said "stop fucking moralizing". So i just stopped doing it. But i know all the consequences. 

Leo said your natural desire is the strongest.

My nature. i have no idea about that.

Edited June 12, 2016 by Uchira
forgot something to write

[charlie2dogs]

23 hours ago, Uchira said:

I had been asking myself what am i supposed to do or be or think

I have times that i realized how i used to blame myself for living like a dog. I used to say myself that i have to do what i am supposed to do too many times. In doing so, I am  here in Japan receiving Japanese government scholarship 1500$ monthly ( pretty enough to me to survive). But now i feel like i studied my ass off because of my neurotic motivation. I feel like this kind of motivation is not last longer. i got depressed. But Leo said "world should be as it is". He said "stop fucking moralizing". So i just stopped doing it. But i know all the consequences. 

Leo said your natural desire is the strongest.

My nature. i have no idea about that.

sounds to me like you are confused about a lot of things,  just what do you want to do with your life?  In this physical world an education is important unless you want to live like a dog.  even masters, sages, yogi's work in this physical world, and they get an education, but often their real education comes from a higher place and their work may be somewhat different than most humans, masters do not sit under a tree and be a bum on the streets begging for food.  if you can go off into the wild and take care of yourself without being a burden on the rest of the world and that is what you want to do, then go for it, some have done it and loved it.  masters do not burden others for their existence.  so what are you looking for in this world.