Breaking The Parental Knot

[bernieboy20]

Hi there,

I'm 20 years old and I have grand visions for my life, but I feel like my parents will hold me back and I feel that living at home is a great inhibitor to fulfilling my dreams. My parents aren't toxic individuals per se, however they are very ignorant and don't understand any of my goals. I'm studying at university for the next two years so there are some logistical problems with moving out as I'm broke.

Do you guys have any tips with dealing with this frustrating period of being financially dependent on your parents?

Do you think that moving out is so important that I should shift my focus to earning money to do so?

And what are some good ways of earning money, is it worth the expenditure of time to take a low paid job for now?

I'd love to hear your strategies with how you balanced perusing money with other things at the young age of 20.

[Saarah]

@bernieboy20 I'm in a similar boat to you

I bought the KMoneyMastery programme (just google it) to try to make some online income, it's a good programme and has great potential, I just started it in May when uni exams were over and haven't got anything out yet due to outsourcing work taking a while so I'm yet to see any results but I'd also recommend getting a part time job, especially since you're broke, KMoneyMastery requires quite a bit of capital but compared to other online business models it's probably the cheapest and fastest way to make income, obviously you'll be taking risks so be brave with your money

dont worry about moving out so fast, I also have two years left but use this time to be strategic and plan all the details out, the more you progress the clearer the picture will come of how you can go about moving out and how far you've reached financially 

but yes I do think you should focus on earning money at this earlier stage so that you can move out in future, the earlier you begin the greater advantage you have

Hope I helped! 

[key]

@bernieboy20

Hi there, @Saarah made some great points about starting to earn an income early, it'll help you become more independent quicker absolutely.

With your relationship at home making you feel inhibited, oh boy it's a tough one to flip on its head. Try and look at it from another perspective, you've got a warm bed, hot food & a roof over your head. Then another, you don't spend multitudes of energy on maintaining your own lifestyle & income out of home, which can distract you from other endeavours you might be interested in. Then another & another and if you keep looking you'll find that it's entirely your own problem, created by you, fed and maintained by you, running your emotions, feelings, thinking, behaviour & actions.

I'd say to start with your relationship to your parents, then your environment and work towards having a healthier perspective. Also radically accepting your current situation, where you are in the present moment, seeing where you are now while working towards what you wish for in the future.

Also, if you need help seeing from other perspectives, try a third person point of view, then objective. Try relate other lifestyles to your own & if you're anywhere 1st world you'll see we're pretty bloody comfortable, considerably.

Edited June 12, 2016 by Kenya

[Corte]

Your parents aren't ignorant, (even if they literally are stupid) they are simply from a different time and type of living. They felt the same about their parents at this age I'm sure. Removing this kind of belief will automatically make things easier for you. Show them that you are responsible, capable, ambitious, and surely they will believe in whatever you do. I'm nearly your age, and my parents haven't the slightest clue of my plans in life, but I respect them and have proven my competence many times, they are at peace with whatever I'm doing because whatever it is they will be proud. They most likely just want to see you happy and successful (probably with a few of their own beliefs tied in) 

Stay home, earn your degree, find ways to make money and save it and maybe help others with it, find peace within your current situation right now

Edited June 12, 2016 by Corte
I agree with @Kenya 1000%!

[Saarah]

@Kenya Thanks for your input! Yes, at the start I felt very rushed like I needed to get it out the way but I'm actually totally happy about my situation now, the idea of possibly not talking to my family for the rest of my life is quite a daunting one, so for now I take everything slow without rush, I'm trying to grow myself while I'm here, and when I'm ready will start a new chapter of my life when the time comes, and right now this is the chapter and I appreciate it 

I used to feel resentment towards my parents but that's completely changed around now, I just accept them as they are, i read about the emotional bank account in the '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' and I just focus on being kind to my parents and doing what I can for them even though they can be difficult, I've actually noticed though by inputting into the emotional bank account our relationship is at a smooth point, but when the time comes to leave they'll be angry at me for being atheist (that's the whole reason for leaving) but I'll know I've left them with whatever I could

the recent morality video also helped because people can think parents should be a certain way, but now I see this is reality and it is what it is so I can't feel any hate towards it when I see from that perspective