Daydreaming about crying me heart out

[Identity]

For a while now I have these thoughts where I imagine myself in different scenarios bursting into uncontrollable crying. In the imaginations it feels like a surrender and relief.
There is this feeling I would describe as no longer having to pretend.

For a while I have been aware of sadness I carry on my heart. I think it has to do with mystical/awakening experiences.

I have cried from time to time. Last week I had quite a breakthrough where I cried in front of others at a mindfulness training. We were given an excercise to imagine ourselves in 5 years. Whilst writing down “I am fully Awake, fully seen through all illusion and have reclaimed authority as GOD...” I had tears in my eyes. When we had to share our vision with others I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

Although this felt good, it feels like there is a lot more sadness left. Like a conservative cry won’t do it. Like I need to fully let myself go.

Perhaps it needs to be around others as well. 
 

any suggestions? ?

[Jonac]

@Identity Keep crying, is purification.

[mandyjw]

@Identity Do you have a vision or dream board like described in Nahm's thread? When a vision or desire arises like that, I would just write it there and "let go" except for when you see the board. Something about writing things down helps you let go of it/embrace it, see it a new light. The dream board also allows you to keep it in your awareness. You could also journal about it and explore the subject, feelings, memories, associations behind the feeling, (or desire to feel). It's funny how things end up tying together and unfolding. 

[cetus]

Crying releases karmic debt. Not just on a personal level but on a planetary/collective level.

[Identity]

@Jonac On it! ???

@mandyjw Yess, Ive got a huge board right in front of my bed ?. Do you mean the desire for God, or the desire to cry?

This is part of the board.

Yeah I actually have a journal, but haven’t used it for a while. Will pick it back up, thank you!

Its wierd though, because when I cry there usually isn’t a particular image or event that arises. It’s just sadness that wants to leave my body. I can feel my heart in my chest ”shaking” it out

@cetus56 Funny you say that, because after I posted, I had a little crying sesh. And right at that time a guy who I never talk to sent me a “funny video” of a guy crying through Facebook messenger. I’m hardly even on Facebook. LOL

And wait a minute! The video was about how he had been “a bad boy, and thus not receive any presents for christmas”. ?

Edited January 14, 2020 by Identity

[mandyjw]

@Identity Synchronicity means you're on the right track! Follow it. 

Your vision board looks great. Maybe get a dry erase board in addition to what you have already and be more free with it? I just write down everything I want there. There are lifelong dreams on there and really small temporary whims. You could even write down a word that came to your attention that inspired or intrigued you. It's strange to see how things tie together and come about in surprising ways over time. 

[Identity]

@mandyjw On it!

Now I am curious to see yours ?

This is my full board. Whenever something comes to mind I write it on a piece of paper and put in on there. Than when I am more sure about I make a drawing out of it ?

 

[zeroISinfinity]

Maybe people posting their dream boards should be new thread. 

Come clean kiddo show yours. 

Noooooooooooooo ?

[Identity]

@zeroISinfinity Pretty sure it already is a tread. Also, I have posted my vision board like 5 times already ??

Perhaps I should stop ?

[mandyjw]

@Identity Sorry, it's FAR too weird to share.  

It's strange how things happen because of it. For example I wrote "cruise" on it and then went hiking and stood and stared at the waves from a ledge for a long time, then my perception changed and it felt like I was on a boat moving.

Then I had an impulse to paint the hall the board is in yellow and I did that and ended up doing a bunch of shadow work and letting go/seeing through old memories that were very connected with the color yellow. 

One think leads to another. 

[Identity]

@mandyjw Oke, if you say so.

Nice video’s btw ?