I'll never watch porn again

[assx95]

I started my self-actualization journey with an insight : The little things I do, matter. 

I choose real women over porn, my imagination and my sexuality will more than suffice for the lack of it. 

I choose to look inwards for sexual pleasure, not outwards. 

I don't need a reason to not watch it, just as I did not need a reason to watch it. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

Great choice dude, good luck, I'm onboard 100% !

Edited January 13, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[assx95]

@28 cm unbuffed Thanks man. 

[Austin Actualizing]

Check out the sites: yourbrainonporn.com and fightthenewdrug.org 

Porn is VERY addictive so consider porn blocking software. 

[Shin]

You know porn is a hard drug, when even Leo says it's fine and not a problem at all ?

[Forestluv]

Habits of behavior can become deeply ingrained into our mind and body. The can cause so much distress and negatively impact our lives that we reach a breaking point and say "Never Again!!". For some, this moment may have sufficient power to cause permanent change. For example, I used to chew tobacco several times a day. I got to the point that I was facing surgery and facial reconstruction. Not in an abstract way. The actuality of sitting in dentist offices discussing my surgery options. This had an enormous impact on me and I never chewed tobacco again - in spite of how addictive it was. If the negative consequences as so extreme, some people can quit cold turkey. They just stop.

Yet other habit and addictions aren't simply "Never Again". I've had many issues with various habits and addictions I wanted to change. Only the one I mentioned about was "Never Again". Every other habit / addiction had an "again". One thing I learned is that "Never Again" can provide short-term motivation, yet it also creates a strong dynamic of conflict opposition. In this case: I either quit porn 100% and get on the right path or I don't quit porn 100% and I stay on the wrong path. In a sense this is good, yet it a sense it is not. It sets the person up for a continuing cycle of "being good" and "being bad". This new cycle can be very hard to overcome. . . However, moderation has it's problems too. I may say "I will only fap twice a week" or "I will no longer watch porn while fapping". I would say the moderation path is best. If one can moderate themselves and create new less intense habits, that is great progress. However, with strong habits / addictions, it can be very hard to moderate. For many people, they can moderate for a week or so and then revert to previous habits.

When trying to change a habit, this is what works best for me. If I reach a "Never Again" moment of desperation, I will use that energy. I will actually intensify the energy. For example, I will write in a journal all the negative consequences excessive fapping and porn are having in my life. As well, I will write out all the benefits I will gain by reducing or discontinuing fapping/porn. I would also not get to attached to the absolute of "Never Again". That puts an immense amount of pressure and stress on me - I don't like living like that. I need to remember that I am choosing to discontinue a harmful dynamic to take care of my mind and body. Nobody is forcing me to do this. . . I would then:

1) Set up short-term commitments that are attainable. "I will Never Fap Again" is too ambiguous. The most important thing is to get distance from the habit and allow space from it. Saying "I will never fap again" out of frustration does nothing to promote space. If I was fapping multiple times per day, I would set a firm commitment that I would not fap for 1 week. This may be difficult, yet it is attainable. If I couldn't do it, I would fap with the least amount of impact possible. For example, no porn. Just imagining being with a woman I love. And I wouldn't beat myself up. Don't continue the guilt / shame cycle. If I went from fapping to porn 10X per week with level 8 neurosis and had a week fapping without porn 2X in a week - it is progress and space. The most important thing is to get distance from the intensity of the mind-body pattern.

2) It may be helpful to set up a support group with guys who have worked through this. I would pick a group that was very positive about the benefits and were not extreme. E.g. I wouldn't associate with people that demonized fapping as immoral or bad or judged people that relapsed or moderated to be failures. A support group can be helpful to get through dynamics that seem to possess us. When I quit chewing tobacco, I participated in an online forum. It was helpful to me and after I had a month or so without chewing, I was able to help newbies trying to kick the habit. However, I would not get so immersed into the group that my new identity became "a fapper or no-fapper". This can turn into a trap. The long-term goal is to become free of porn and fapping addiction such that it is no longer an issue in your life. You are not a "non-fapper". We want to be free of the dynamic so it is a non-issue and we can do other things in life. For example, I don't identify as a "non-chewer" or "recovering chewer". It is a non-issue in my life. I no longer think about it in my life.

3) Create a new habit to help recondition the mind. Quitting a strong habit can create a void in one's life. Fill that void with something healthy and positive. For example, perhaps the energy of sexual urges can get re-oriented toward something healthy like lifting weights, running or yoga. Start a new healthy habit. Also, one could start looking into the underlying issues that have led to this habit and how to form healthy relationships. For example, if someone wants to quit the habit of smoking weed every night. They may need to look into the underlying reasons. Am I smoking every night to escape an uncomfortable Now? Am I smoking every night to quiet a worrisome mind so I can sleep? Those types of issues may need to be addressed to successfully reduce or discontinue the habit. 

4) Have a plan for when ocd / physical urges to fap arise. These thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming and the mind-body just wants relief from these urges. What will you do when these feelings arise? How can you re-orient yourself? Perhaps meditate or yoga and be with the urges. Or go out into nature - perhaps that will find relief.

5) Appreciate the small gaps of "freedom". When I first stopped chewing tobacco, my mind and body was craving 100% of the day. Each day, thousands of thoughts and cravings arose. I didn't think it would ever go away. I thought I can't live like this. I wanted relief sooo badly - every day all day. I could barley function in life. Then after about 2 weeks, there was a glimpse of freedom. I was walking in the woods and realized I went about 5 minutes without thinking about or craving chewing tobacco. This was a gamechanger. I now realized that when the ocd/cravings return, they may leave - I just needed to wait it out. Sure enough, as time went on the gaps of freedom got longer as I got distance. I remember going a whole hour without thinking/craving tobacco. I remember the first full day I went without a single thought of tobacco. This gave me lots of joy, hope and motivation. . . The dynamic with fapping is a bit different because there is no "outside" substance and sexuality is a core component of who we are as humans. Part of being a male is that hormones are released that are associated with sexual desires. So you can't really change that. Yet you can change your relationship with your sexuality such that it is free of disturbing associations with porn. . . If you have gaps in your day in which you are not thinking or craving fapping, appreciate those periods and know that you can stretch out those periods of time as you get distance from excessive fapping/porn. 

[Hermetics]

Quote

 

The Yogis possess great knowledge regarding the use and abuse of the reproductive principle in both sexes. Some hints of this esoteric knowledge have filtered out and have been used by Western writers on the subject, and much good has been accomplished in this way. In this little book we cannot do more than touch upon the subject, and omitting all except a bare mention of theory, we will give a practical breathing exercise whereby the student will be enabled to transmute the reproductive energy into vitality for the entire system, instead of dissipating and wasting it in lustful indulgences in or out of the marriage relations. The reproductive energy is creative energy, and may be taken up by the system and transmuted into strength and vitality, thus serving the purpose of regeneration instead of generation. If the young men of the Western world understood these underlying principles they would be saved much misery and unhappiness in after years, and would be stronger mentally, morally and physically.

This transmutation of the reproductive energy gives great vitality to those practicing it. They will be filled with great vital force, which will radiate from them and will manifest in what has been called "personal magnetism." The energy thus transmuted may be turned into new channels and used to great advantage. Nature has condensed one of its most powerful manifestations of prana into reproductive energy, as its purpose is to create. The greatest amount of vital force is concentrated in the smallest area. The reproductive organism is the most powerful storage battery in animal life

 

William Walker Atkinson - Science of breath 

Edited January 13, 2020 by Hermetics

[Austin Actualizing]

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

You know porn is a hard drug, when even Leo says it's fine and not a problem at all ?

I remember watching one of his meditation retreat videos in Hawaii on his blog and he basically indicated about halfway through he ended up watching even though he wasn't supposed to go on any electronic devices lol. 

[Hermetics]

Quote

Seers have seen that from the moment of conception awareness is enhanced, enriched, by the process of being alive. The awareness of an individual insect or that of an individual man grows from the moment of conception in astoundingly different ways, but with equal consistency. Awareness develops from the moment of conception.

Sexual energy is something of ultimate importance and it has to be controlled and used with great care. Don't resent or applaud what I say, thinking that I am speaking of control in terms of morality; I mean it in terms of saving and rechanneling energy. I recommend, therefore, that one control oneself and understand the Indescribable Force's command that sex is for bestowing the glow of awareness. It is the Indescribable Force's command that sexual energy be used for creating life. Through sexual energy, the Indescribable Force bestows awareness. So when sentient beings are engaged in sexual intercourse, the emanations inside their cocoons do their best to bestow awareness to the new sentient being they are creating.

During the sexual act, the emanations encased inside the cocoon of both partners undergo a profound agitation, the culminating point of which is a merging, a fusing of two pieces of the glow of awareness, one from each partner, that separate from their cocoons.

Sexual intercourse is always a bestowal of awareness even though the bestowal may not be consolidated. Warriors know that the only real energy we possess is a life-bestowing sexual energy. This knowledge makes them permanently conscious of their responsibility. If warriors want to have enough energy to see, they must become misers with their sexual energy.

You needn't think this a puritanical attitude toward sex. There is nothing wrong with man's sensuality. It's man's ignorance of and disregard for his magical nature that is wrong. It's a mistake to waste recklessly the life-bestowing force of sex and not have children, but it's also a mistake not to know that in having children one taxes the glow of awareness. Seers have seen that on having a child, the parents' glow of awareness diminishes and the child's increases. In some supersensitive, frail parents, the glow of awareness almost disappears. As children enhance their awareness, a big dark spot develops in the luminous cocoon of the parents, on the very place from which the glow was taken away. It is usually on the midsection of the cocoon. Sometimes those spots can even be seen superimposed on the body itself.

Nothing can be done to give people a more balanced understanding of the glow of awareness. At least, there is nothing that seers can do. Seers aim to be free, to be unbiased witnesses incapable of passing judgment; otherwise they would have to assume the responsibility for bringing about a more adjusted cycle. No one can do that. The new cycle, if it is to come, must come of itself.

Don Juan Matus - The Fire within 

[Shin]

19 minutes ago, Austin Actualizing said:

I remember watching one of his meditation retreat videos in Hawaii on his blog and he basically indicated about halfway through he ended up watching even though he wasn't supposed to go on any electronic devices lol. 

Imagine how much more productive he could be without watching porn, fapping, and even ejaculating by learning how to have non-ejaculating orgasms.

It would be insane lol

But I guess everyone has blind spot, and this one is definitely one, whether he wants to admit it or not.

[Meetjoeblack]

2 hours ago, assx95 said:

I started my self-actualization journey with an insight : The little things I do, matter. 

I choose real women over porn, my imagination and my sexuality will more than suffice for the lack of it. 

I choose to look inwards for sexual pleasure, not outwards. 

I don't need a reason to not watch it, just as I did not need a reason to watch it. 

Is this no fap or just no porn? 

I'm against censorship but I am removing porn too. Its cucked. As a young boy, its a addiction and an outlet otherwise you are walking around with a rager lololol. 

[assx95]

@Meetjoeblack This is no porn. Not nofap. 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

Imagine how much more productive he could be without watching porn, fapping, and even ejaculating by learning how to have non-ejaculating orgasms.

It would be insane lol

But I guess everyone has blind spot, and this one is definitely one, whether he wants to admit it or not.

You're making an ideology about how ejaculating under any circumstance is energy draining and bad. And then projecting it on Leo, who may have no problem with it whatsoever. Its about your individual relationship to it. Its not black and white. Just because that mindset serves you because you used to have issues with it doesn't mean it holds true for others. 

Human physiology is not that black and white either when it comes to ejaculation. The poison is in the dose per say. 

[assx95]

@Serotoninluv Hey! Thanks for writing your thoughts on addiction. 

I think it is simpler than that. I know that I will use sneaky tactics and my own intelligence against my own resolve. It's analogous to playing chess. 
I choose not to ground my decision on any reason or any morals. And I have given a free outlet to sexual energy, by allowing myself to masturbate, but without porn. It is porn, that I have resolved to eliminate. I may face backlash, but I refuse to negotiate with the devil. The devil I know, is no other than me. Porn to me is not good or bad, it is something which binds me, which restricts my freedom, and is a distraction from being. Unless, I happen to be indulging it, while being fully conscious. It goes full-circle. 

I was wrong. It is not that simple. And I can't even say that. 

Edited January 14, 2020 by assx95
Grammar

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, assx95 said:

I choose real women over porn, my imagination and my sexuality will more than suffice for the lack of it.

Real women?

All women are your imagination, and so is porn 

If you want to stop watching porn, go ahead. But why do you have to create this extra level of delusion by calling some things real and some unreal?

[assx95]

35 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Real women?

All women are your imagination, and so is porn 

If you want to stop watching porn, go ahead. But why do you have to create this extra level of delusion by calling some things real and some unreal?

Because to choose, I must distinguish. 

And this choice to create a distinction, gives me more freedom in contrast to being stuck in a loop of jerking off to porn which only increases its variety and choice to infinity. I'd be stuck in that rabbit hole till I have a sexual appetite. 

I want Mother nature to give me the sexual visions, when I need them. So Porn is not needed. I am creating all these distinctions to untie myself, to free myself cause I know from experience what keeps me stuck in a loop. 
 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, assx95 said:

I am creating all these distinctions to untie myself, to free myself cause I know from experience what keeps me stuck in a loop.

The distinctions you create are what enslave you.

To become free you must surrender them.

You do not need to create a story around porn in order to decide not to watch it. You can simply decide that your vision for your life excludes porn. If porn makes you feel bad, then let THAT be your reason, not its lack of reality.

You don't need to say that rat poison is unreal in order to decide not to eat it.

[electroBeam]

14 hours ago, assx95 said:

I choose real women over porn,

How about you choose kundalini over 'real women'? That's the next level up.

[Conscious life]

true Spirituality is liberation. watch when you want and stop watching when you don't want. be free from it, like animals. porn isn't bad thing. there are many benefits of porn and harm also, use it wisely. everything depends upon your consciousness not the stuff, aspire to increase your consciousness. 

[Shin]

5 hours ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

You're making an ideology about how ejaculating under any circumstance is energy draining and bad. And then projecting it on Leo, who may have no problem with it whatsoever. Its about your individual relationship to it. Its not black and white. Just because that mindset serves you because you used to have issues with it doesn't mean it holds true for others. 

Human physiology is not that black and white either when it comes to ejaculation. The poison is in the dose per say. 

You may be right, but from my own experience, this is heresy

It's like saying that meditation or psychedelics, healthy eating, physical activities are useless and does not work, yeah for a tiny minority (maybe), for the vast majority it is needed.

Edited January 14, 2020 by Shin