How to make people like me?

[NoMM]

All throughout my life ( I am 18) I have had little to no friends. 

This is the sole reason I got into personal development. At the young age of just 11, browsing the internet for ways to "make people like me". I found myself getting sucked into the world of personal development and pure mental masturbation for a couple of years never having confronted the issue of "not being liked and having no friends" head-on. 

To keep this post brief, It is now the year 2020, the start of a new decade, an initiation of motivation so therefor I have decided that this is going to be primarily the focus for the first couple of months this year. 

Ultimately what I would like is to become a very social and charismatic man, who is the authority figure within a social circle. 

So tell me, what makes people like other people? 

Which mindsets make someone an authority figure? 

 

[Chives99]

build social skills, be around nice people not dickheads, not all tough people are bullies most are pretty nice just the insecure and bitter ones. Journal all your social observations, i was a mess at 18, just commit to working on socialising and never doubt yourself just keep on going and even if you do something wrong accept and move on, only way to loose is to give up

[Identity]

“How to make people like me” might be the wrong question. It implies an internalization of external expectations. Even if you mold yourself into something that is others approve of, you won’t be happy. 

how about : “how can I be my authentic self around people?” An inside out approach will work better I think. Connect to yourself. Accept yourself. Shine yourself out into the world. See who starts to resonate with you.

[UnbornTao]

You may get a sense of what it is to be “charismatic” by microdosing LSD, but basically authenticity and confidence are the key. It’s not so much about what you say but how you say it.

Drop the desire to be liked. Be present, natural. Try to listen to what they’re trying to communicate. Back straight, body relaxed, eye contact, clear voice. And practice.

[LordFall]

View people as the same as yourself and offer value. The more differences you build up in your mind and other people, the harder it will be to connect with them. "These are the cool kids, I don't belong." beliefs like that will kill your charisma.

 

Use nondual beliefs and treat everyone like an old friend and they will start to feel familiar to you and you'll feel familiar to them and you'll be able to make friends and social connections at a speed that bows your mind. 

[Meetjoeblack]

Stop giving a damn. Talk to lots of people. Assume they are cool till proven otherwise. Meet lots of people. You make friends. The following is transferable with women, dating, and sex. Disclaimer: people suck. Sure, you can work on self improvement but most are lazy and not doing anything. Do the work. Do your part. 

[Kalki Avatar]

Be present (centered/grounded/mindful) and Flow. 

Others will notice you are enjoying the moment and not having an inner judgement. 

Add to this, looks, social proof, status, talent, humor and they will love you.