The importance of letting go in a relationship

[electroBeam]

@Martin123 I still don't understand how your approach is different to loving all beings as if you're enlightened. They only reason why you choose 1 girl over the other for love is because of expectations. If you fully surrender and accept people for who they are, you would choose anyone. You would be totally liberated to choose anyone. When you 'end the relationship' you're allowing yourself to dare someone else.

If the relationship will eventually converge to a point where the person can be anything, and you will totally accept them for who they are, then what's the point in starting a relationship? 

IMO you only start sexual relationships because of expectations. That's what drives them. Otherwise if you had no expectations you would just love all beings equally. There would be nothing to differentiate them.

If you 'end the relationship' and be committed, you are removing your codependence from the other person.

If you leave this person by following this approach, and go live your own life, you're still committed to their happiness. It just sounds awfully like a spiritual altruistic drive to love all beings unconditionally.

Edited January 27, 2020 by electroBeam

[Martin123]

@electroBeam Thanks for the response. Again let's not make this into a debate club, I appreciate the engagement but these things aren't really as much about understanding as about feeling the truth within your heart, which I understand is not as common on this forum Leo is a very conceptually oriented person so I really get it.

I will address though that the notion of unconditional love includes the unconditional love for yourself, and that includes all your human desires including romance and sexuality, and a desire to create a harmonious and equal partnership. An enlightened being leads by example, and creates a harmonious relationship with a partner who is up to it, as an example of harmony for others to aspire for. You see the difference between expectation and congruence is the fact that when we have expectations, we tend to ask people to do for us, or give to us something they aren't equipped for. Its not that our desires and needs for relationships are bad or wrong, its that we need to find a partner that can actually meet us where we need to be met, and as always that journey starts within, to create greater emotional connection with yourself. It is just so that we live on a planet where our only hopes of finding such partner is by first and foremost becoming that partner onto ourselves. 

But really let's just do the work, the work that is frustrating and painful beyond belief. Or at least not waste time debating all this  If there is anything you would like help with, I would be happy to, but I will not debate. Sorry. 

[electroBeam]

55 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

But really let's just do the work, the work that is frustrating and painful beyond belief. Or at least not waste time debating all this  If there is anything you would like help with, I would be happy to, but I will not debate. Sorry. 

It's not debate, it's correct understanding. It's figuring out whether the work resonates with you and is correct for you You may be right or totally full of shit from a certain perspective. 

Thankyou for the response, its probably great for some advanced people on here. I think we have the same goals, but that way of getting there isn't for me right now. I will try your expression of creativity technique though to try and increase femininity.

[Martin123]

I have found this quote beautifully touching, and how deeply it reminds me of this thread.