What are We Really Afraid of? (Approach Anxiety)

[TDW1995]

The thought of facing rejection keeps many people like me from approaching attractive people.  If I think about it deeper, I often wonder what we are really afraid of.  What makes it so hard approach people, and why do we fear the worst happening (rejection)?  Typically, if we plan to approach someone our heart may beat fast and we may start to sweat from nervousness.  This seems like a survival method that our body is using, but what is really in danger?  The idea of ourself (ego)?  Honestly, it seems like it would be completely harmless whether someone accepts OR rejects us, but there is still an intense fear. 

[Meetjoeblack]

Owen Cook brought up a book on tribalism. 

Essentially, if deemed creepy or a weirdo you get ostracised. Genetic ostracism means genes won't replicate. Nor will you survive. 

Its evo psych. Its hind brain. It no. Longer serves a purpose. It was what kept you alive once upon a time. 

Create new pathways in the brain. Check free tour. Learn game. Chalk up victory on approach. Chat lots. Set benchmark everyday. 

The key isn't to hump everything or. Mpua. Its to normalise being a man who goes for it. 

 

1sec left in the game. The balls in your hands. What do you do??? 

No hesitation. I shoot every time. 

[SoothedByRain]

 

This is a channel created by a man, predominently for men, but it still does have content women can learn and grow from.

The content comes from ego, fuels ego and I'd say is a stage orange, green and yellow approach to understanding evolutionary psychology. He is actually very open minded and coming from a higher consciousness place. But! just a disclaimer for those who might want such . . . this content is ego, need and duality.

 

 

Edited January 11, 2020 by SoothedByRain

[Meetjoeblack]

13 hours ago, SoothedByRain said:

 

This is a channel created by a man, predominently for men, but it still does have content women can learn and grow from.

The content comes from ego, fuels ego and I'd say is a stage orange, green and yellow approach to understanding evolutionairy psychology. He is actually very open minded and coming from a higher consciousness place. But! just a disclaimer for those who might want such . . . this content is ego, need and duality 

Ya. Alexander Grace. Formerly red pill interviews till the shit fit with Rollo and the gang. I like him. He is less authoritative and more seeking to understand. 

We can say ego all we want. Turn on msnbc or cnn. Trump hysteria and utter garbage. If a woman sats, men shoukd XYZ, nobody blinks. If a man says, women should XYZ, people FREAK THE FUCK OUT. 

The 21 convention is doing a 22 convention event Make Women Great Again event. The freak out video by a female sociopathy who was destroying her children's toys and acting insane could really grow in the event. 

Stefan Molyneux made a video of the crazy. 

Its hilarious because she's quick to scream and act like a maniac directing men what to do but, god forbid a man has a opinion on what he likes.

2secs into her ranting, you cannot fathom how any man would marry that, procreate with her, and tolerate his children around that. Its evident that she is unstable and shouldn't be around children. 

Molyneux has tons of data on chikd abuse and single mom's are less than spectacular. 

 

[universe]

You fear that you will lose either validation, protection or control.

The sedona method can help you get these needs down to a minimum.

[Consilience]

I contemplated this exact topic recently. Ill list my train if thought: 

Why do I get AA? Because Im afraid.

What am I afraid of? Rejection

Why do your fear rejection? Because if I see a girl Im attracted to, I want her to be attracted to me back. 

Why? Because I see a possibility, I see a potential for two people to impact the other’s lives and I want her to see/feel that opportunity as well. 

Why does even this matter? Because I don't want to be alone. 

So I determined, for me, AA is coming from a place of neediness for someone to be attracted to me, neediness for my feelings to be reciprocated, and a neediness to be in a relationship. This was all quite interesting to observe as I didn’t realize these emotions where present in my experience until I looked under the hood. Much easier to process and let go of conscious emotions than unconscious ones. 

 

[Meetjoeblack]

On 11/01/2020 at 2:24 PM, Consilience said:

I contemplated this exact topic recently. Ill list my train if thought: 

Why do I get AA? Because Im afraid.

What am I afraid of? Rejection

Why do your fear rejection? Because if I see a girl Im attracted to, I want her to be attracted to me back. 

Why? Because I see a possibility, I see a potential for two people to impact the other’s lives and I want her to see/feel that opportunity as well. 

Why does even this matter? Because I don't want to be alone. 

So I determined, for me, AA is coming from a place of neediness for someone to be attracted to me, neediness for my feelings to be reciprocated, and a neediness to be in a relationship. This was all quite interesting to observe as I didn’t realize these emotions where present in my experience until I looked under the hood. Much easier to process and let go of conscious emotions than unconscious ones. 

Why do you get afraid? Its social conditioning. 

A common practice today is girls shaming and or calling a man a creep for dare being interested. Another tactic is screenshot DMs and public Shame your shitty game and approach online. Its pretty ruthless. 

I hate it that, it took pickup to inspire me to approach. To give myself permission. The alternative is what? Just wait? 

Anybody can mental masturbate about it or why. You just got to grit your teeth and do your approach. Maybe in another lifetime, you are Chad or Tyrone or born a Prince smart enough not to marry a train wreck. 

[Nahm]

What was the fear like before you started believing you need someone else?

[TDW1995]

@Nahm It's not that I need anyone else.  I am approaching my mid-20's and I feel like exploring this area of relationships would be good for me, especially since this was not much of a part of my life.  In fact, if I approached someone and they rejected me, that's just fine since I'm perfectly okay being single.  But, at the same time, even though I don't mind at all that I'm single, it still seems like it would be painful to face rejection.  I think it's more of an embarrassment than anything else.

[Nahm]

@TDW1995 What would happen if you were embarrassed? What would that mean, what would that amount to? 

[TDW1995]

@Nahm Great question. Probably something to ponder.

[turtleneck]

I found this channel where this guy goes and talk to people, in this video he talk to a women who is working, worth checking out: