You get severe addictions because your identity is narrow.

[CreamCat]

During vietnam war, US soldiers were addicted to drugs because they didn't have much to do other than killing enemies and injecting drugs. As soon as they returned to USA, the vast majority of addicts cured themselves of drug addiction because they suddenly found a lot more things to do.

I used to be addicted to computer because I identified mainly with my computer. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't cure myself of computer addiction. Recently, I figured out that I was addicted to my computer because I identified strongly with it. I then decided to identify with gradual expansion of identity.

First, I'm going to try to identify more with all major aspects of my life including work, body, relationship, and mind. After I identify with my full individual self, I can expand my identity beyond myself. I started identifying more with my task management system and timer so that I don't lose balance to one task.

What I discover is that as I expand my identity or myself, things gain more balance because I automatically care about and pursue balance among things I identify with. However, my identity tends to shrink over hours to a small part of my life because what I do tends to define me narrowly. Thus, I have to constantly watch for tunnel vision and expand my identity again.

You also go outside your comfort zone by expanding your identity. For example, you identify with your body and decide to go to gym and lift heavier weights. You can also expand your identity by identifying with higher standards for what you do.

Edited January 7, 2020 by CreamCat

[Bill W]

In one of my favourite books of all time, The Buddha Said, Osho said this

In terms of your needs, attachments and clinging, you simply don’t cooperate anymore. One must drop out of the relationship

I take this to mean relationship in a very broad sense and it strikes a chord in terms of obsessions and addictions. So, relationship in this context could include; people obviously, but also things like technology (bad habits surfing the internet or porn for example), food, drugs, whatever it is that is not the healthy way forward. 

[CreamCat]

I dropped my bullshit identity as a computer geek. And, various bullshit computer projects that serve as distractions are melting away.

Edited January 8, 2020 by CreamCat

[Hansu]

9 hours ago, CreamCat said:

First, I'm going to try to identify more with all major aspects of my life including work, body, relationship, and mind. After I identify with my full individual self, I can expand my identity beyond myself.

This is really interesting way to look at it. Could it be that an overweight person who has problem with dieting are identifying themselves as not being the body they are, and thus losing weight becomes difficult?

Like; Imagine being normal weight and then going on diet, but instead of you losing weight, you are doing all that hard work so that someone else who is overweight would lose weight. If our subconscious mind see's the situation in this way, why would it ever do the hard work?

a: The subconscious already thinks its at its ideal weight, so losing more weight would be against its idea of survival

b: Why would the subconscious approve of doing all that hard work just to make someone whom you haven't met lose weight? Its ridiculous idea!

If this is true then we could take it a step further. You know how when a doctor prescribes you pills, you look for the first moment when you think you dont need them and then stop taking them? Well, if the pills have been prescribed to your pet, then what we often do is that we give the pills to the pet religiously exactly how the doctor ordered. Im gonna look if I can somehow squeeze this idea into the theory and see if it holds water with my own addictions

EDIT: "Im gonna look if I can somehow squeeze this idea into the theory" Maybe its self love

Edited January 8, 2020 by Hansu

[CreamCat]

You can lose weight by including exercise in your identity. See yourself as a person who exercises everyday. You can learn to identify more strongly with exercise and discipline than with eating and procrastination.

If you see yourself as a natural procrastinator, quitting procrastination will be difficult because you will easily justify procrastination.

Expanding your identity can be painful because it requires going outside comfort zone by definition, but it is easier than other personal development techniques I used.

Edited January 8, 2020 by CreamCat

[Hansu]

@CreamCat

Thing is, identifying with something hasn't worked for me when I tried it for a month every evening and morning (Imagination exercise and suggestions)

But thing is, what if it didnt work because I projected the identification to a false self? As in my subconscious thought my exercise was to improve this shadow me whom I had never met, and not me.

I know its a far fetch idea, but it feels true to me. Something about it feels right so Im going to put it into test. I will try to find my own true identity and then project the identification of healthy habits on that true identity, and not on the identity my mind has but subconscious might be rejecting, just like in the abstract I wrote on the earlier post

[Javfly33]

Sometimes it has more variables than just identity. Of course, deep down is all due to identity, but in the relative sense, things from conditioning to relieve of trauma or as a means to cure artificially your mental illness, for example, can be all explanations of why people keep being addicted to stuff. 

And obviously, there are some stuff more addictive than others, you can't really compare the amount of pleasurable neurotransmitters that gives a pipe of crack or meth, to playing games on the Internet. Is just a whole other beast of pleasure that the brain has to let go of

[Michael569]

Good insights! 

Many addictions stem from lack of purpose. However there is a huge degree of past trauma, abandonment and bad parenting, especially in the drug area. 

Edited January 8, 2020 by Michael569

[Farnaby]

This idea makes a lot of sense. Ultimately, who and how you think you are, manifests in reality and leads to limiting your potential.

However, I wouldn't say it's the only cause. IME other factors play a huge role, one of the most important being a lack of deep intimate connections. 

Maybe it's just me, but I've noticed how my addictive behaviors skyrocket when I'm putting up walls and not allowing myself to build deep connections with other people, not speaking my truth, trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings, etc. On the flip side, when I feel socially connected, present and safe, my addictive behaviors diminish. 

In a sense, you could say that a disconnection from love plays a huge role in developing and maintaining addictions. 

I'm sure this isn't the only variable. The difficulty to break a habit, the people you surround yourself with, the potency of the object of addiction, etc., all play an important role. 

But ultimately, if you feel connected, loving towards yourself and others, it's less likely that you become addicted to something that hurts you.

[CreamCat]

@Hansu Of course, it's very hard to pretend that you are gay when you are not. But, you can identify with body building if that's what you want to do most rather than what you want to do right now.

It's not difficult to figure out what you want most or what you really want to do.

Edited January 8, 2020 by CreamCat