My deepest awakening yet

[SantaMaria]

I’m living in a constant fear after my last awakening. Fear of being Harmed in some way even though everything’s completely fine. Watched Leo’s dealing with Fear videos the entire night. I just cannot stop thinking and bring myself here, in this moment. 
I fear of being too Big, being harmed by the evil which is not separate from God. 
I’m a High school student, my exams are coming up. I don’t want to mess this up, I fear these negative emotions are going to manifest itself. But then again I’m really grateful for the experience. It felt like God(my SELF) wanted to discover itself through me and that it’s my job to help God find itself by simply bringing myself into this present moment which is the Truth. I also have this need to make sure everyone and everything is fine as I became conscious of INFINITE LOVE and no matter how much love I give out it would still be less.
I just got started, would really appreciate your help. 
Deep down I know it’s happening for a great reason, I’m still not able to solve the puzzle. I want to enjoy my life, enjoy being finite but when I try to do the things I’m supposed to do I find it pointless it feels like it’s not deep enough 

[Visionary]

This is a normal ego backlash where old paradigms are slowly getting back, which can be very painful and frightening. 

Now you've awakened something else has taken over. This will lead to multiple deaths of the persona where old ways of thinking, wanting/desiring and being are making place to be reformed. Always keep surrendering. Surrender, surrender, surrender. Try to be ok with every possible outcome. Also ok with not being ok. So this okness is not a result, its a process. Ego doesnt like okness.

Much love. Enjoy your path.

[Aaron p]

@Visionary what a good reply

[LfcCharlie4]

@Visionary Awesome reply. 
 

I also got into this very young and know exactly what you mean, your motivations in terms of school work may change, instead of doing it because you HAVE to, see it as an opportunity to expand your knowledge in certain areas of life. 
 

I get what you mean by not deep enough, but at the end of the day 

Non Duality = Duality. Awareness is literally EVERYTHING, and other domains of life apart from awakening still have their relative importance, for example if society suddenly collapsed we’d be in turmoil.

So, it’s not about stopping life but evolving with your new understandings to embody your awakenings into your life. 

[SantaMaria]

@Visionary @LfcCharlie4Thank you so much! Wish you all the luck and love on your journey. Really appreciate it! xx 

[LfcCharlie4]

@SantaMaria Anytime, hope you enjoy your exams as much as someone can ? 

[Shin]

35 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

@SantaMaria Anytime, hope you enjoy your exams as much as someone can ? 

Seeing everyone stressing about it when they prepared for it, and knowing you aren't without knowing anything, makes us appreciate this forum even more ?

Edited January 7, 2020 by Shin

[LfcCharlie4]

@Shin Pre spirituality I was the BIGGEST stress ball with exams, however it meant I revised intensely and got very decent grades, however the motivation was more out of fear than enjoyment. 
 

Whereas, now if if was doing exams it would be of course disciplined but done in a way I could actually enjoy learning the content and whatever is needed for the exams, I’d also help others a lot more, which I hardly did enough of at school in areas I was more naturally gifted. 
 

I guess we all live and learn  

[Visionary]

@SantaMaria @LfcCharlie4 @Aaron p

Love y'all!