This weirdo woman is just groping me. What kind of person is she?

[Melinda75]

I am a 44 year old married heterosexual woman. My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have a 13 year old daughter! About a month ago my friend's first cousin, this skinny really short like 5 ft 3  pale face creepy green eyes thin lips light brown haired with Chin-Length haircut masculine  55 year old woman who i have never met before, moved here in this community. She lives in my friends/her cousin's garage.





Incident #1

About three weeks ago i attended my friends  neighborhood women  gathering. I was wearing a red long sleeve satin  blouse buttoned up to the top ,black satin pants, and 5 inch heels black shoes. I had full make up on. When i arrived, my friend introduced me to her cousin. This pale small woman my friends cousin  said to me "  Wow. You are such a big woman. Standing next to you i look like a midget. " She was in flat shoes and i was on high heels, i am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed( I have very large breasts) , i was really like a giant standing beside this weird woman.

She said to me" Wow. You are so shiney.  Why are you so overdressed? You look so glammed up ".

" I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I ’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time." I answered to her.

"I am unemployed and broke. I am 55 year old and I have always been poor. I don't want to die poor. I am practically homeless. I had to move in here in my cousin's garage. ". she told me. We had the most awkward conversation, like really weird, long pauses.

Then this weird small pale woman just placed her both hands on my breasts and started rubbing them  for a solid  5 minutes exclaiming “Are these real??! They’re so large!” . Then I backed up and looked at her and she just kept rubbing. So fucking weird. She was patting and rubbing my boobs for like 5 minutes. She was commenting on my breasts. I said to her “Hey! Don’t do that.”. But this pale small weird woman responded  "C'mon big woman, I'm: not a guy, we're just girls. Also I am totally asexual. I am fascinated with the size of your boobs " She kept rubbing and feeling up my breasts while she was commenting on them which I didn't knew  how to take, should I laugh and play along or be totally weirded out.   It was just awkward. I was just standing there stiff as a board while she was feeling up my boobs . I was just standing there kind of awkwardly letting it happen. Then one woman pulled her off and distracted her.

Then i went to the restroom. 10 minutes later I just put my purse down on a chair and I was getting something out of it, so I guess I was slightly leaning over? This touchy feely pale woman my friend's cousin decided to just slap my butt with her both hands as she walked past. It was actually audible and in front of everyone but no one even reacted. I just turned around and saw her smiling at me as she walked off. 5 minutes later again she gave me a big, hearty slap on the butt when she was walking past. Over the next hour or so this touchy feely weird pale woman would just grab a hold of my breasts or rub her hands against them  or grab my butt whenever she walked past me. I didn't know what to do to get out of it. Practically this weird pale woman touched or talked about my boobs all the time at that gathering and I gave up trying to care.  It was easier to be in on the joke than to make a thing of it. Also her story about being broke and living in her cousins/my friends garage made me feel sorry for her and I just unintentionally allowed her to grope me. I was feeling sorry for her and allowing it even though I was like wtf is happening. It was time to leave and this pale touchy feely woman  hugged me full frontal and held me her face pressed against my breasts( her face is exactly the level of my breasts) for an uncomfortably long time. I've had to remove myself gracefully after a minute or so. 

Other women there were weirded out by our behaviour, but they ignored that and said/did nothing as if nothing was happening.I think that the women there were in shock themselves? Some people don’t like to get involved if they feel uncomfortable or not sure what is going on. These women(even my friend her cousin) were pretending that is not happening with confused looks on their faces. Also it was bizarre. Standing next to me this touchy feely pale old woman looked like a midget and I was letting her get by with it. Other people there probably thought that I am okay with it.  ?

Incident #2

Two weeks ago I attended this women in wine meeting/party . I was wearing a purple long sleeve satin bow blouse buttoned up to the top,black satin pencil skirt, sheer black pantyhose and 5 inch heels purple shoes. I had full make up on. This touchy feely pale small woman was there with her cousin/my friend. She came RUSHING up when she saw me. She said to me "Big woman you are always so elegant. You are such a big woman. Wow. Your breasts are sooo large." Then she just grabbed my breasts with her both hands and started squeezing them and jiggling them. I  told her to quit squeezing  my breasts but she just kept squeezing and jiggling  them. I finally pushed her hands away and told her stop which she eventually did after telling her three times to quit. . 

About 15 minutes later I was talking with one woman , this pale touchy feely small woman came up from behind and started rubbing and lightly squeezing my butt with her both hands. At first I ignored it, but she just kept rubbing my butt, then I turned around and told her that it is sexual assault. Then this pale  weird woman said to me in a sarcastic voice " Big woman. You arrogant, spoiled, stuck up, upper middle class snob.  You stupid overdressed cow. Standing next to you i look like a midget. How can this be sexual assault. You are physically stronger than me. I am asexual. I wonder why is it such an offense to grab yours boobs/buttcheeks. I mean, you could do that to me I don't see a problem. I am totally flat. My breasts are tiny.  You  have a large huge boobs so i like to randomly grab them as a joke.   " . Then again as she was standing in front of me( her face is exactly the level of my breasts) she just grabbed my breasts with her both hands. She was practically holding  my boobs for like 2 minutes, while was commenting on how large and nice they were and she wished she had boobs like mine, etc. Again I finally pushed her hands away and told her stop which she eventually did. 

About 20 minutes later i sat on this chair. There wasn't enough chairs, so this touchy weird feely short skinny pale woman sat on the right arm of my chair. I said to her " I insist for you to sit in this chair. I will be standing" Than I got up but she kept pushing me down to sit like if I was a naughty child trying to run away. She said "Don't be ridiculous big woman. I am small, I am fine sitting here." Then as she was sitting on my right side she placed her left hand on my left shoulder and she placed her right hand on my right upper breast and she just left her hand there. Then she moved her left hand lower from my right shoulder to my right upper breast. This weird pale small woman patted my upper breasts with her both hands for like 10 minutes. I am ashamed to say that I just sat there and let her do that to me. At this point, I've become somewhat used to it. I got up, this weirdo pale woman was still sitting on the arm of the chair and she reached out with her both hands and rubbed my butt. I went to the restroom. About 20 minutes later It was time to leave and this pale touchy feely woman  hugged me full frontal and held me her face pressed against my breasts for an uncomfortably long time. I've had to remove myself  after a minute or so.  Other women there saw the way she's been treating  me, probably they were relieved that she's latched onto me and not them. Probably they were silently thinking it is bizarre. Also this handsy creepy small pale woman is not physically threatening to me at all, so maybe that is why nobody reacted to my defense.

 I complained to my friend about her groper cousin, but she says that her cousin is totally asexual and that she is drawn to me because i am tall and I was dressed up in satin  clothes. She says that asexual people are touchy feely. She says that asexual people are cuddle maniacs.  She says that her cousin is just showing appreciation for my clothes and my height. She just joked  I made stupid faces while her cousin was touching me and groping me. She also says that it is hilarious and bizarre that standing next to her cousin pale groper I look like a giant and I let her get by with it. She even said that groping between women isn't a big deal at all. She was just joking. She is is very protective of her weird creepish cousin. She says that her cousin is just overly sensitive.She is saying that her cousin has been suffering from anxiety and depression for a number of years now. She says that her cousin is too socially awkward and she wants her cousin at the very least to be able to socialize when she has to. She says that her weird pale cousin doesn’t understand what kinds of things aren’t really okay to do/say in social situations, that she thinks that nobody likes her, and has struggled to find enjoyment in anything or have anything ‘to look forward to’. My friend thinks that i am over overexaggerating. My friend says that this pale small woman is total opposite of me, that she is basically everything i am not, and that is why she is drawn to me and she nonsexually enjoys touching me. She jokes that her cousin is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she can actually harm me are virtually nil.


I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. But I was one of the lucky ones that's never had her boobs grabbed, touched, or jiggled before. This was my first time getting groped. I wanted to know if  wanting to  touch and grope other people is something common among asexual people or just this weird pale woman's personal quirk? 

Edited January 7, 2020 by Melinda75

[Ananta]

Oh. Wow, unbelievable! I literally would have gave her one stern warning to get her hands off my breasts, it IS sexual assault, if she didn't listen, then I would have zaped her with my stun gun. ⚡

[Melinda75]

7 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

Oh. Wow, unbelievable! I literally would have gave her one stern warning to get her hands off my breasts, it IS sexual assault, if she didn't listen, then I would have zaped her with my stun gun. ⚡

Thank you for your response. I am so confused about what happened to me on both occasions! I will say that I never thought to fight this groper weirdo woman or hit her. Why?  As much as I hate to admit it, I'm too timid to do any sort of retaliation. I think on both occasions I   was like "wow, is this really happening ?!". I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. I am avoiding her. I have met her only twice. Only on these two occasions. But on both occasions she got her hands on me. I even don't want to go to my friends house because of her touchy feely pale cousin. But she lives in my neighborhood. We live on the same street. This woman my friend's cousin is definitely the weirdest person i have ever met.  My friend is very protective of her weird creepish cousin. She says that her cousin is just overly sensitive. This groper can muck things up for me with my friend. I'm so confused beyond belief?!! It's keeping me awake when I think about it! It's really complicated! I value my friend so I don’t want to ruin/make things awkward by upsetting her weird cousin.

[Melinda75]

16 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

Oh. Wow, unbelievable! I literally would have gave her one stern warning to get her hands off my breasts, it IS sexual assault, if she didn't listen, then I would have zaped her with my stun gun. ⚡

Another issue i need to address is not this woman groper but my passive reaction. That is why i came here on this forum. I am a logical, thinking woman, college-educated. So i accept that something is wrong with me. On both occasions I just  tried to be as dismissive of the situation as possible when this short skinny creepy woman my friend's cousin was touching me and groping me. I tried to be polite and as unaggressive as possible. Now I kinda feel like a weirdo for not losing my shit on this pale touchy feely woman.

16 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

Oh. Wow, unbelievable! I literally would have gave her one stern warning to get her hands off my breasts, it IS sexual assault, if she didn't listen, then I would have zaped her with my stun gun. ⚡

16 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

Oh. Wow, unbelievable! I literally would have gave her one stern warning to get her hands off my breasts, it IS sexual assault, if she didn't listen, then I would have zaped her with my stun gun. ⚡

Thank you for your response. I am so confused about what happened to me on both occasions! I will say that I never thought to fight this groper weirdo woman or hit her. Why?  As much as I hate to admit it, I'm too timid to do any sort of retaliation. I think on both occasions I   was like "wow, is this really happening ?!". I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. I am avoiding her. I have met her only twice. Only on these two occasions. But on both occasions she got her hands on me. I even don't want to go to my friends house because of her touchy feely pale cousin. But she lives in my neighborhood. We live on the same street. This woman my friend's cousin is definitely the weirdest person i have ever met.  My friend is very protective of her weird creepish cousin. She says that her cousin is just overly sensitive. This groper can muck things up for me with my friend. I'm so confused beyond belief?!! It's keeping me awake when I think about it! It's really complicated! I value my friend so I don’t want to ruin/make things awkward by upsetting her weird cousin.

[Ananta]

Everyone has a different personality, that may have something to do with your reaction, another thing is if you secretly liked it on any level, not saying you did, but its another possibility. Perhaps, you just froze and wanted it to stop on it's own, meaning you are wayyy to passive and need to step up your boundries with ppl.

I'm a pretty straightforward lady and  if I want your damn hands off my breasts your gonna know it! If I sorta don't mind, then I might just say, what are doing? Or if I don't mind at all, I might say nothing at all and make out with you instead (Hypothetically, of course).

Once at a party my friends sister who was known bisexual started commenting on how fine my ass was in my Jean's (she was standing behind me), then she grabbed ahold of my waistband and was talking in my ear. It's been awhile I can't recall what she said. I remember thinking if no one was around how far would I let this go? She was sorta pretty, lol.

Anyways, my friend yelled at her sister to leave me alone and get the hell out. That was the end of that,  but if I wasn't somewhat curious I would have put an end to it myself, as soon as she was checking me out.

We all have are limits. I would encourage you to thinking about your limits and boundaries. If you don't want that women laying her hands on you again, then what will you do/say to her next time, regardless of the ton of excuses her cousin makes for her bad behavior. 

Stand up for yourself!

 

 

[universe]

I have a feeling this woman is not really asexual.

I'd set some boundaries. Deal with her like if she were a child. Which she probably is.

[Preety_India]

 

I would have probably just left the gathering. Or asked other women to help me out to get her off me. What she did was so gross. I'm sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. 

I'd have been stern and probably left her a warning not to do that again. And if it went too far or happened too often despite the warnings then I would have created a scene at the party and screamed and got the other women to notice what's going on. And reported to the police once I got home.. 

It's not okay at all. I will consider it sexual harassment. Although I would have felt sorry for her homelessness but i would have still not allowed such a behavior. 

I mean it's hard for me to feel empathetic to people and also scorn them at the same time. I guess it's tricky. She is a total wacko total weirdo. I hope you are safe. 

The question really is, if she is capable of that, what else is she capable of? So as a word of precaution I would say never be around this woman if you are ever alone like in a bedroom or a bathroom or any room or trust her in any way because she can do harm in the name of fun if she is that much of a nutcase. She can experiment to test your boundaries and go overboard and try some sadistic games with you or something. So better be safe than sorry. 

Weird behaviors are obviously signs of mental issues but can transform quickly into criminal intent and this often gets ignored. 

So be on the safer side with this weirdo woman. 

 

Now coming to the part of your friend. If she is your true friend, shouldn't your friend understand your boundaries? What kind of a friend takes your concerns lightly? You need to have a sit down with your friend. Tell her straight up that her cousin is weird and you can't stand it and tell her that you value your friendship with her but the cousin needs to stay away and stop the mess. Be upfront and honest but also remind your friend that it's not being offensive to her or her cousin. It's just you standing up for your self respect. 

I hope you do that. And if your friend is beating around the bush, then there's not much that can be done other than just avoiding this weirdo woman. 

That weirdo woman needs to be dealt with and put in her place. It's sexual harassment and gross and vile, whatever nonsense she is doing. 

 

[Arcangelo]

WOW just WOW! You can not make this stuff up. I read a very similar story here at actualized.org months ago.

You NEED to learn to say these words: STAY THE F AWAY FROM ME!

I think that a way to heal would be to go to your friend's house and make sure the pale is there. The SECOND she tries to pull that shit again you say those words and leave. Then tell your friend: -''I am your friend, but I will never ever again hang out with the pale around.''

 

Arc

[egoeimai]

If I were you, I'd be disgusted, since I am heterosexual as well, I wouldn't let any woman touch me. Ew! 

Especially this description of a woman. But any woman! 

Why? Why. You should've slapped her and insult her. Showing her that is not okay. 

Also I think this thread is also a bit of a troll. Anyway. It was fun reading ?

[Arcangelo]

The troll got me a;sdfkajs;dklajs;dfklj

I am always so proud of my troll identification skills. My ego is hurt!

[Melinda75]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I would have probably just left the gathering. Or asked other women to help me out to get her off me. What she did was so gross. I'm sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. 

I'd have been stern and probably left her a warning not to do that again. And if it went too far or happened too often despite the warnings then I would have created a scene at the party and screamed and got the other women to notice what's going on. And reported to the police once I got home.. 

It's not okay at all. I will consider it sexual harassment. Although I would have felt sorry for her homelessness but i would have still not allowed such a behavior. 

I mean it's hard for me to feel empathetic to people and also scorn them at the same time. I guess it's tricky. She is a total wacko total weirdo. I hope you are safe. 

The question really is, if she is capable of that, what else is she capable of? So as a word of precaution I would say never be around this woman if you are ever alone like in a bedroom or a bathroom or any room or trust her in any way because she can do harm in the name of fun if she is that much of a nutcase. She can experiment to test your boundaries and go overboard and try some sadistic games with you or something. So better be safe than sorry. 

Weird behaviors are obviously signs of mental issues but can transform quickly into criminal intent and this often gets ignored. 

So be on the safer side with this weirdo woman. 

 

Now coming to the part of your friend. If she is your true friend, shouldn't your friend understand your boundaries? What kind of a friend takes your concerns lightly? You need to have a sit down with your friend. Tell her straight up that her cousin is weird and you can't stand it and tell her that you value your friendship with her but the cousin needs to stay away and stop the mess. Be upfront and honest but also remind your friend that it's not being offensive to her or her cousin. It's just you standing up for your self respect. 

I hope you do that. And if your friend is beating around the bush, then there's not much that can be done other than just avoiding this weirdo woman. 

That weirdo woman needs to be dealt with and put in her place. It's sexual harassment and gross and vile, whatever nonsense she is doing. 

 

Next time i run into this pale woman i am going to put a lot of distance between the two of us. I don’t want to go to my friends house because of this weird touchy feely woman.This woman groper my friend's cousin definitely has social behavior issues. To be honest i think that she is mentally unstable. If a man did that to me i would probably slapped him. But this woman my friend's cousin is so invasive. I have never encountered this sort of person before. This groper woman is hard to read. She got away with touching me and groping me on two occasions. I have never punched another person. I've never punched anyone.  I can't just punch her in the face.I am physically stronger than her,standing next to me she looks like a midget,she is short and skinny,but i have never been in a fight my whole life.I am afraid of any kind of physical altercation. I've never been in a fight. I was sucker punched one time in high school by a friend who incorrectly assumed I was talking crap about her but I was with a group of girl friends and chose not to fight back so I told her "let's handle it after school" but we were both pulled in to the office shortly afterwards and she was suspended. Nothing happened to me. 

[Melinda75]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I would have probably just left the gathering. Or asked other women to help me out to get her off me. What she did was so gross. I'm sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. 

I'd have been stern and probably left her a warning not to do that again. And if it went too far or happened too often despite the warnings then I would have created a scene at the party and screamed and got the other women to notice what's going on. And reported to the police once I got home.. 

It's not okay at all. I will consider it sexual harassment. Although I would have felt sorry for her homelessness but i would have still not allowed such a behavior. 

I mean it's hard for me to feel empathetic to people and also scorn them at the same time. I guess it's tricky. She is a total wacko total weirdo. I hope you are safe. 

The question really is, if she is capable of that, what else is she capable of? So as a word of precaution I would say never be around this woman if you are ever alone like in a bedroom or a bathroom or any room or trust her in any way because she can do harm in the name of fun if she is that much of a nutcase. She can experiment to test your boundaries and go overboard and try some sadistic games with you or something. So better be safe than sorry. 

Weird behaviors are obviously signs of mental issues but can transform quickly into criminal intent and this often gets ignored. 

So be on the safer side with this weirdo woman. 

 

Now coming to the part of your friend. If she is your true friend, shouldn't your friend understand your boundaries? What kind of a friend takes your concerns lightly? You need to have a sit down with your friend. Tell her straight up that her cousin is weird and you can't stand it and tell her that you value your friendship with her but the cousin needs to stay away and stop the mess. Be upfront and honest but also remind your friend that it's not being offensive to her or her cousin. It's just you standing up for your self respect. 

I hope you do that. And if your friend is beating around the bush, then there's not much that can be done other than just avoiding this weirdo woman. 

That weirdo woman needs to be dealt with and put in her place. It's sexual harassment and gross and vile, whatever nonsense she is doing. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am so thankful to you. You are right. It seems as though this woman targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me. Why? Maybe this weird touchy feely woman my friends cousin is a sociopath and she has decided that she is going to make my life miserable and use me. She is so invasive and creepy. This short pale creepy old woman on both occasions just made a decision that she's going to touch me and grope my breasts, and butt. She just took what she wanted on both occasions. She was inappropriately touching me and groping me in front of everyone. If a man did this to me it would pretty much constitute sexual harassment, but because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, because she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to dominate and hurt me, because that is how sociopaths think.

By groping me under the pretext of her fascination with the size of my breasts she is asserting dominance over me. The whole fascination with my breasts thing is a scam, and suggests that she thinks i am pretty damn stupid. Now also note how the whole "big woman" term gets used. She is taking steps to undercut my self esteem, by making me feel unconscious about how i look and dress. This is about her envy, and about subtly bulling me, and making me seek her approval. Again, power and dominance over me. This is also the start of classic female-on-female bullying tactics. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! I am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby. But I love my height and my curvy stature.

[Melinda75]

4 hours ago, universe said:

I have a feeling this woman is not really asexual.

I'd set some boundaries. Deal with her like if she were a child. Which she probably is.

Even if this pale weird touchy feely woman is just accidental, benevolent, ignorant sociopath, she is still a threat to me. She is definitely something of a sociopath. The signs are there. She has targeted me for really covertly bullying. This creepy woman ruined my self esteem. She destroyed any sense of self-worth I had.I feel like crap. Earlier today i read that the best way to deal with sociopaths is to ignore them and not react to their games. Also don't let them know that you think they are a sociopath. So i will continue to avoid this groper woman my friend's cousin. I have met her only twice. Only on these two occasions. But on both occasions she got her hands on me. But she lives in my neighborhood. We live on the same street. Sociopathy is difficult to spot. Sociopaths don't go around breaking the law, murdering and raping. They don't walk around with a label on their forehead.

[Meetjoeblack]

Its more common. I had my junk grabbed a bunch of times more recently. Three girls in open public at the bar went down my pants lol. Its sheer debauchery and degenerate society. Enjoy the decline. 

If it was a obese girl, someone old or a guy, I'd flip. A girl, I'd tell off. If a dude tried to grab it, I'd swing LULz. 

 

[Melinda75]

2 hours ago, Meetjoeblack said:

Its more common. I had my junk grabbed a bunch of times more recently. Three girls in open public at the bar went down my pants lol. Its sheer debauchery and degenerate society. Enjoy the decline. 

If it was a obese girl, someone old or a guy, I'd flip. A girl, I'd tell off. If a dude tried to grab it, I'd swing LULz. 

 

Thank you for your response. You are totally right. I think most women gropers don't see what they're doing in those situations as harassment or sexual assault. This might be part of it, but I think another aspect (at least in terms of taking sexual harassment seriously) is based on the archaic ideas that women are not capable of violence, don't seek out sex, and so on. I feel this is why women are not treated as offenders as readily as men. When we women complain about other women sexually harassing us, it is seen as laughable, so we learn to just ignore it or brush it off if we don’t like it.
.

The catch here and what makes women on women groping different than its harmless: I never once fear for my safety. I imagine other women feel the same and that’s why it’s not viewed as much of a problem compared to women being assaulted/groped by men. This weird pale short skinny "asexual" woman publicly humiliated me and degraded me in a subtle way on those two occasions. It seems as though this groper woman targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me. Why? She took on a very dominant personality almost immediately. She also took the initiative in touching me, groping me and publicly humiliating me in a way that made her seem very confident. I totally agree with you. The reality is we are in an era where women are getting just as aggressive if not more than men. They see it as not as harmful because they are the same sex.
I don't know. anything that's harassment when a man does it is still harassment when a woman does it. That doesn't change just because it's coming from a different source.
In my experience this masculine weird short woman can be especially aggressive. I think that our culture kind of gives her a pass, since homosexuality between women isn't nearly as taboo and a lot of women can get away with being pretty handsy with each other. I don't know why this older short pale woman just decided she can rub my breasts  all over with her both hands and grab and slap my butt  invade my personal space like that.
She is just probably even more bold because she thinks she can get away with doing something like that more than than men can. I've never had men do anything like that..

This weird, creepy, small, older woman was so confident, she almost immediately just placed her hands on me. I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But I have never been groped by a strange man. Probably because of my bitch resting face. When I have a blank expression people assume that I'm in a bad mood. 

[Melinda75]

18 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I would have probably just left the gathering. Or asked other women to help me out to get her off me. What she did was so gross. I'm sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. 

I'd have been stern and probably left her a warning not to do that again. And if it went too far or happened too often despite the warnings then I would have created a scene at the party and screamed and got the other women to notice what's going on. And reported to the police once I got home.. 

It's not okay at all. I will consider it sexual harassment. Although I would have felt sorry for her homelessness but i would have still not allowed such a behavior. 

I mean it's hard for me to feel empathetic to people and also scorn them at the same time. I guess it's tricky. She is a total wacko total weirdo. I hope you are safe. 

The question really is, if she is capable of that, what else is she capable of? So as a word of precaution I would say never be around this woman if you are ever alone like in a bedroom or a bathroom or any room or trust her in any way because she can do harm in the name of fun if she is that much of a nutcase. She can experiment to test your boundaries and go overboard and try some sadistic games with you or something. So better be safe than sorry. 

Weird behaviors are obviously signs of mental issues but can transform quickly into criminal intent and this often gets ignored. 

So be on the safer side with this weirdo woman. 

 

Now coming to the part of your friend. If she is your true friend, shouldn't your friend understand your boundaries? What kind of a friend takes your concerns lightly? You need to have a sit down with your friend. Tell her straight up that her cousin is weird and you can't stand it and tell her that you value your friendship with her but the cousin needs to stay away and stop the mess. Be upfront and honest but also remind your friend that it's not being offensive to her or her cousin. It's just you standing up for your self respect. 

I hope you do that. And if your friend is beating around the bush, then there's not much that can be done other than just avoiding this weirdo woman. 

That weirdo woman needs to be dealt with and put in her place. It's sexual harassment and gross and vile, whatever nonsense she is doing. 

 

Maybe you are right. Maybe she has decided that she is going to make my life miserable and use me, and she may quite possibly try to somehow rape me too. I think that this touchy feely small pale woman is some kind of sociopath. What do you think? I will actively try to avoid this groper pale weird woman. I am so confused. Her cousin/my friend says that this weird small woman is just showing appreciation for my curves, height and clothes. She says that her cousin just admires me. She says that asexual people are touchy feely. She says that asexual people are cuddle maniacs. She says that wanting to touch and grope other people is something common among asexual people. I don't want to file criminal action against this woman groper because of my friend/her cousin. She is is very protective of her weird creepish cousin. She says that her cousin is just overly sensitive. I don't want to lose my friend.

I am much taller and bigger than her, i could have overpowered her. It was very bizarre and uncomfortable. I've never had a man treat me that way. If this were a guy I know the drill, I know how to react to that. I know I can chew a guy out and that every other woman in the bar would come to my defense. Apparently I don't have the same confidence in confronting this short skinny weird pale old woman my friend's cousin.

On those two occasions i just dealt with how uncomfortable I felt and let her get away with it. I was afraid that if I confronted her that it'd just be some sort of cat fight and that I wouldn't get the same help I would have gotten against a guy. It is just a really new and surprising experience that I've never personally dealt with before. It’s just really awkward and it is not a situation where it is clear what to do. I’ve found that I’m extremely accommodating in order to avoid conflict with this weird touchy feely woman and stir the pot.
I'm just frustrated that I didn't do anything. I'm embarrassed , and I feel like I'm being a big baby about it.

[Pritpal Singh]

@Melinda75 Firstly, sorry to know what you had to go through.

Get few points clear in your head:

1. What she did is nothing but molestation. No one has the right to do so to you, not even small, poor or weird woman.
2. Unlike some third world country, US, has a strong Law enforcement system so make the most of it.
3. It is your life, so no need to change your plans and relationship with your friend because of some weirdo.
4. I understand that you are afraid to retaliate probably because you have not done so in the past. But it is important to take a stand for yourself and there is always first time. You will have to step out of your comfort zone because no one else (people noticed her acts but hardly any one took action) is going to do it for you.
5. You are losing sleep because of her weird behaviour. Again I feel sorry for you but you need to understand no one has the right to destroy your peaceful sleep.

Possible Actions you can take:

Talk to your friend sternly about her behaviour one on one, in person. Make it clear to her that next time her cousin repeats this weird behaviour you will call 911 and she would be not only broke but behind the bars as well along with a possibly heavy fine, which her friend might have to pay from her own pocket.

Remember it is she who is doing wrong in fact she is breaking the law, not you. Thus it should be she, who should be worrying about what she has done to you rather than you worrying about coming across her in future. Take proactive action. If there were CCTV cameras in any of the 2 venues/gathering (I am sure they must be there) you can complaint about her to police, right now. It will be evident from CCTV footage that she had been repeatedly molesting you.

Next time you come across her immediately take out your mobile and start recording a video while warning her that I will record you stupid act and share the same to cops and you will spend rest of your life behind the bars. Be stern. Trust me she will not dare to even walk near you in future. These weirdos think they can easily get away with their shitty behaviour because they are poor and broke.

Such molestation happen quite often in India (and I am sure in other countries as well) within the families by cousins, relatives etc. and sufferers are none other than innocent children. Unfortunately in most cases when child report the same to their parents they ask them to stay quiet about it for the fear of creating a scene, destroying a relationship with molester’s family or fear of retaliating (as in your case). But such acts impacts child’s psychology in a bad way. I can understand it must have had a bad psychological impact on your mind as well but shit happens.

But truth is you and no one deserves it. So, no need to take shit from this shitty woman, anymore. Do let me know what action you took. Feel free to PM me for any support or suggestion.   

And as you have mentioned in one of your reply in this thread about "she dominating and bullying you". I don't think she has that intent. Bottom line is she is just a bi-sexual or lesbian and satisfying her lust. She has nothing against you it could have been any other attractive woman as well. Perhaps she must have molested other women as well in the past and got away with it because of which she has the courage to repeat same behavior with you again. 

So its high time you fix this shitty woman once up for all.

All the best.