Feeling that void big time(Shadow Work advice)

[Rigel]

I am doing a 10day cleanse right now(Purium). Currently on day 3 and something interesting is happening. At first I thought that the most difficult thing about it would be the cravings for food but I get very little of that. Energy levels are normal I guess. The thing is it's very challenging emotionally. Kinda funny how having my physical body empty does the same thing to my emotional body.

I feel like nothing is fulfilling right now. I get relief when I play music or do breath-work but it is short lived. As soon as I stop I feel emptier then ever. My approach right now is to do the emotional labor but I feel like I am hitting a wall over and over. I lay there feeling the emotion the best I can and asking myself why do I feel that way? What was the first time I felt that way? etc.(The whole shadow work thing) The only thing I get back from this inquiry is... well nothing. I can't come up with anything. I don't know what I want anymore I feel like I am avoiding the labor by actually trying to do it.

My questions are:

Can any of you relate to this?

and what advice would you give regarding Shadow Work?

Would be much appreciated?

Edited January 6, 2020 by Rigel

[Shin]

Hi

For how long are you doing this ?

Not necessarily the purium, but shadow work in general ?

[mandyjw]

Throw the idea of shadow work away completely for now and just do something fun and inspiring, or meditative, or better yet something that is both. I made this video about how "shadow work" spontaneously happened for me, and how shadow work in general is not what you think. 

[DrewNows]

21 hours ago, Rigel said:

I don't know what I want anymore I feel like I am avoiding the labor by actually trying to do it.

I think this is an important point. IMO the cleanse is bringing out all that emotional baggage, stored trauma, or karmic energy and there's nothing for you to do but feel it. Sometimes you will create meanings for the energy based on the past but this doesn't have to be forced. Breath deep, meditate and be the observer! Your body is healing itself, just love it!

[Rigel]

@Shin I got lead to that 3 or 4 weeks ago and got really interested. I am doing it most of my days since the Christmas break. The cleanse took that to a whole other level. I feel like anything I do which isn't just sitting there basking in that feeling of emptiness is avoidance. All my usual coping mechanism aren't helping me cope anymore.

@mandyjw Thanks a lot I haven't looked at it from this angle yet. The thing that I struggle to wrap my head around is avoidance. That's funny I did what you said today without even reading it. I went and jammed with two of my good friends and It was very enjoyable. I didn't think about anything I was in the flow and everything was going great. Then it ended and there I was/am again. I don't understand how doing something fun and inspiring can fulfill me long terme. Everything feels like avoidance right now.

@DrewNows Thanks a lot  friend.

[mandyjw]

20 minutes ago, Rigel said:

 

@mandyjw Thanks a lot I haven't looked at it from this angle yet. The thing that I struggle to wrap my head around is avoidance. That's funny I did what you said today without even reading it. I went and jammed with two of my good friends and It was very enjoyable. I didn't think about anything I was in the flow and everything was going great. Then it ended and there I was/am again. I don't understand how doing something fun and inspiring can fulfill me long terme. Everything feels like avoidance right now.

Because you have the ability to focus you could say that you are always avoiding something automatically in your choice to focus on something else, that's the nature of life. Wisdom is knowing when and where to focus, being in the flow and in tune with ourselves makes us sensitive to this kind of guidance. You want to be inspired to re-write your past, knowing that you will revisit it in order to do that. Then there is no resistance about revisiting it, only excitement to rewrite it. Revisiting is just something that occurs on its own as you rewrite/reframe. 

Doing something you consider fun now won't fulfill you long term, but as you raise your consciousness, judge less and perceive more, the strange result of this is that more and more around you suddenly becomes inspiring and fascinating. You are the one who has preconceived judgments about what inspires you and what doesn't. As you drop those, and meditate more, as you see and perceive more around you and think less, you naturally become able to enjoy things you never would have in the past. 

If the shadow work isn't coming, focus on feeling good and clearing your mind. Isn't that the end goal of the shadow work anyway? When we know where we are going, we don't have to focus so much on all the steps that we need to take to get there because we have faith that things will unfold as they need to. Then we can enjoy where we are in the process. 

[Rigel]

@mandyjw Stuff to contemplate thank you very much?

[Byun Sean]

Ego backlash. Can happen whenever you make big change in your life really fast 

This video might help explain some of what your feeling

 

[Rigel]

@Byun Sean Very useful thank you