Long Lasting Brain Fog/Energy Blockage

[randomguy123]

(Thanks in advance to anyone wanting to help. I know this is pretty long, but hopefully at least it will be a good read.)

Ok, so here goes I guess.

Before anything else, I have made a previous thread on this problem, but it wasn’t very accurate or useful, so I won’t be referring to it here.

Basically I am struggling with some serious energy blockages in my body, causing brain fog, obstructing breathing patterns, causing serious tension in my stomach and at its worst also blocking my hips. These latter two have largely subsided with the work I have done and currently I’m struggling with blockages in the brain area (mainly in the back of my head and in the third eye area) and down my spine and upper chest area.

The best way to describe them is a dense layer of fog that is draped over these areas of my body, directly impacting awareness and clarity, with certain pressure points existing, that feel mildly painful and emotional uncomfortable when I focus on them  (e.g. bottom of sternum, around C1, C2, T3 and T9 in the spine). When things get bad, I can very accurately pin point where things are messed up and where they are not. In general it is most of the time in my awareness, around friends I lose awareness of the problem to the point that things are almost normal, but the blockage never goes away, I’m just not actively noticing it.

Things have been this way for the better part of three and a half years (active blockages), but really my whole life I have been building up this problem (first serious symptoms experienced 6 years ago). I have been struggling all my life with fear of failure and tried to do something about it by fighting these thoughts and coming up with mental frameworks to combat them. I would have (and still have) frequent thoughts that chime in and question if I can really write this paragraph or read this text or drive this car right now, I know that these sound like ridiculous propositions but I would take questions like this serious. I would come up with rationalizations as to why I knew that I was going to succeed and ways of thinking to protect myself, which obviously did not work. Nowadays I try not to take my thoughts so serious and I’m trying to be more mature about this.

Unfortunately I banged up my body in the process, its carrying the scars of all those rationalizations and ways of thinking, resulting in some major blockages in my body. Despite all this, I’ve managed to keep the ship running and graduated with a M. Sc. in September, writing my thesis whilst barely being able to see my screen because of brain fog. I managed to bargain myself a free year to figure out what I want to do and figure out a life purpose, but more importantly move on from this problem. In general things are pretty stable, the fog comes and goes and my body is more banged up under stress, but I’m not causing myself more harm as we speak. I understand so much more about how this stuff works, then when I got myself in to it. I’m just looking to turn the corner now and start living my life.

So, the meat: The brain fog and blocking of my body comes and goes, but I feels more like the problem is regenerating itself, rather than that I am causing it if that makes sense. The root cause of the problem however is never addressed or touched, yet it feels like it is always within reach, like I could pop it out like a pimple. Like a trip to the haunted house, could set it free.

Of course I have tried many things, unfortunately not a whole lot in rigorous fashion (things are difficult when you are in the weeds). The way I currently work on it, is by sitting down and focusing my attention on pressure points, which results in my back or neck cracking and releasing some of the pressure. I also do the opposite, which is sitting down and doing nothing which also winds up releasing some of the pressure, almost always through cracking my back. When things were bad in the past I would also crack my hip joints and lower back as this would release some pressure in those areas (they’re mostly ok now I guess). Unfortunately, I can never get everything away like this, some fog/blockage always remains (mostly in my head and chest area).

I’ve tried doing meditation (the previous methods are basically meditation) and I’m also looking into the Kriya yoga thing, but it has been difficult to do these things properly, as It gets pretty uncomfortable. I’m thinking of doing some meditation retreat, but I get very uncomfortable in group meditations as I’m cracking my back constantly and burping a lot and I have to hold myself in to not be that obnoxious person (when I sit down and turn inward, all of this stuff naturally happens).

Obviously there is also the whole mental game to this, I don’t try to take this problem to serious. I’m very well aware of the fact that I could just be keeping this alive for no reason, but I don’t think I am. I can accurately monitor the effect of positive thinking/visualizations, it results in the same back cracking/ release of pressure, but it never get me out of it entirely ( I can imagine myself free of this problem right now, and instantly my body will set to work to achieve the imagined state. This does some work, but it never solves it completely). When I try to let go of my thinking on the problem this has a similar effect, where it releases some pressure, but not all of it.

I’ve tried the Sedona method and also read Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, but they are not getting me out of this. The Sedona method is too cumbersome with all those questions and just leads to me banging myself up harder, whereas the Hawkins approach hasn’t work either, as of now. The main problem you could say is that I need to release more stuff and to release deeper, because even though a solution seems close, it is still too far to actively release and let go off.

I’ve also tried stuff like binaural beats, watched almost all Leo’s vids on this problem, and bought the Sedona audio course (which I refunded). Lastly I have tried shamanic breathing, but the main problem with this is that things are not connecting. My breathing seems to be too superficial, so I wind up tiring myself out after say 20 minutes and end up with classic lobster claws, without even coming close to touching the problem. It feels like I’m working on the wrong level, like it is not connecting.

So what I’m trying to do right now, is to adapt more of a mastery approach then I have in the past, really spending serious hours going over what I am feeling and experiencing. In the past I used to try and ignore this stuff and tried every new gimmicky approach I could get my hands on, now I try to bring intelligence to what I’m doing and trying to notice all the subtle things going on. I’m positively not ready for psychedelics, but I’m looking to try small dosages of modafinil to see if that could put me over the hump. I could also get more serious about yoga practices, but it is often discouraging as a lot of this stuff seems to take me into a completely different direction, and doesn’t address the problem at all.

Even though this sucks and I’m just scraping by in life, I feel like I’ve already learned a lot from this stuff and it has corrected a lot of the bullshit stuff I did and believed. I’ve learned that even in the shit, there are always plenty of things to be grateful for. So I try to keep that in mind (this also has a similar effect as positive visualization I’ve noticed).

Lastly, any feedback is welcome. This stuff is wrecking my life pretty hard, I try to get by, but I’m not sure I could work a full time job like this. Please share if you have any experience with this sort of stuff, most of it seems pretty odd, but to me it feels like something anybody could go through.

TLDR: Brain fog/ general blockages in my body, that are persistent and largely preventing me from living a normal life (although I try).

[UnbornTao]

Perhaps revisit the fundamentals: diet, exercise and sleep. Your symptoms may at least be alleviated by working on those.

Check out The Inmune System Recovery Plan. Your nutrition can cause depression, brain fog, ADD, anxiety, chronic fatigue.

Hope to have been of some help. 

Edited November 13, 2022 by UnbornTao

[randomguy123]

@Arzola  Yh, I could definitely clean that up, although my diet is not that bad to begin with. I mostly eat: fresh cooked meals, granola and soup. The reason I'm not going after it right now is because my problem is so malleable, it changes all the time (mb should've stressed this more) and is not really influenced by mealtime directly. But thanks for the advice, it is something that will have to happen, sooner or later.

@AwakenedSoul444 Yh, I feel you, unfortunately our society still has no clue how to deal with these kinds of problems at all. I'm not keen to get on meds, because I still feel very much in control of what I'm doing and can sense what changes the problem and what doesn't, mb in the future I'll consult one.

It's one of those things where your never grateful for it, until it leaves you and then you're running around like crazy to just have a normal life again.

[randomguy123]

@AwakenedSoul444  Yh, the pressure is on. I'm very aware of how much time I spend beating around the bush, not getting to the core of it. What I feel makes all the difference is your commitment to the process, keeping yourself honest about working through this. When I get a small breakthrough, I always convince myself to stop and enjoy the moment, instead of keeping my head down and continuing to work on it.

What always surprises me, how natural all this stuff happens. You messed something up, without having any clue what it was or how it happened. Then you get to spend the rest of your life tracking all the way back and figuring stuff out. I think it was Einstein who said, that you can't solve a problem at the level you created it. That about sums up the road we're all on.

@Timothy Yh, it started in my belly as well. I'm sure that there is some messed up shit going on, that I'm totally oblivious to. I get that vibrating thing too, if I focus a certain way, it just starts oscillating, back and forth. I can only do it standing up or laying on my side with minimal friction. If I do it laying on my back, my abdominals just tire out like crazy. For me this shaking doesn't do anything really, it feels just like energy penetrating through, but not resolving any blockages. I also totally agree with the not wanting to change part, I know I'm keeping myself in place, but I can't be too hard on myself. I used to always put up schedules on how I was going to deal with this problem, but never followed through on them. It was just to keep the myth of me being productive alive and was an obstacle to dealing with this stuff really.

Anyway, lately I have been able to calm my mind enough, to the point that I can just sit in fogland, without fighting it specifically or interacting with it. What is helping me a lot, is specifically focusing on body parts, where the tension manifests. Yesterday I managed to clear my head to the point of being normal, what it must feel like for everybody else. Of course the fog, came back slowly but surely. I'll keep you guys updated.

[randomguy123]

@Timothy I'm up for anything at this point haha, shoot :P. Btw where did you get that vibration stuff from? It's just sth I keep experiencing, but I've got nothing to rhyme it with, no clue of what it is.

[randomguy123]

@Timothy Thanks for the answers. I'll look in to the exercises next week as I got some exams this week that need taking care of. With the current technique I use, I can release some pressure, like free up my belly in half an hour, but the fog closes just as fast and I'm never getting to an overall released state. The thing just regenerates itself, its like an obstacle that collects dirt and results in a snowball effect, until the mistbank is perfect again. I just need to get to a certain level, where I can release the core of the thing, otherwise nothing will change. Anyway, I'll keep everyone posted.

[randomguy123]

@AwakenedSoul444  Sorry for the late response. Thanks for the advice! Is Reiki a real thing, I've not come across it in what I've read. I'll read in to it!

Update: Bought CBD oil and modafinil and going to try that right now, see where I can get to.

[randomguy123]

Update: Have been using modafinil and cbd oil for the past 3-4 days in varying dosages and combinations. It helps quite a bit with focusing and becoming aware of what works and what doesn't. It made me realize that the only tool I really have is my awareness, trying to be aware of whatever is going on, everything else is only contributing to the problem. It also made me aware that this stuff is quite deep, as it just keeps coming and changing forms. I feel like the deeper a problem lies, the more variety you experience at the surface level. For me, some days I'm barely aware of it, other days are terrible and the symptoms vary from problems in my head, to my back, to my chest. The surface layer of feeling is very fluid, but the core is so rigid I can't release any of it.

However, I don't think I will be able to get anywhere using modafinil and cbd, stuff is just too deep. It's like trying to break through a brick wall with needles (maybe not as drastic as that). So I'm looking for higher dosages and different substances now, starting with armodafinil. Does anybody know how much of this stuff is relatively safe? Also, what other options are out there that would boost awareness quite substantially? I'm not sure what is available in between armodafinil and psychedelics?

I am also looking at different stuff, Wim Hof method, TRE (@Timothy ), etc. But I'm not sure about the movement that these methods involve. With meditation I can just focus on the core as much as possible, that's kind of out the window when you start moving all over the place. I'll give it a shot anyway.

[randomguy123]

@Timothy Yh, it has a mild effect on me, I'm not sure I am feeling the CBD much. I probably should be taking more, they send you this stuff in the smallest of bottles and tell you to take 3-4 drops, but that's like nothing. I'll play around with it. Trying TRE tomorrow, let's go.

[Nahm]

@randomguy123 What if the blockage is the retelling of the story that you have a blockage? 

[randomguy123]

@Nahm Yes, I try to be especially aware of this one. I mean, there are times that I forget the blockage. Just had one of those moments, an hour ago. Also, I tend to forget the blockage when I'm drunk or I'm out with friends. Which means that either I made stuff up, or my awareness gets low enough to the point that I don't experience it directly anymore. I'm heavily leaning towards the latter option though. In the case of the moment I just had: I was feeling pretty peaceful not actively experiencing anything, but when I put a bit of awareness in to how things feel, I realize pretty quickly that I'm not feeling normal at all, I'm feeling ok but, I don't have anywhere near the clarity of your average human being.

The effect of positive thinking is also noteworthy, I think. I can just imagine that the next moment I would be free of this, that there was never such a thing as this blockage, that it was all a farce. This instantly starts attracting exactly that, but my thoughts aren't powerful enough to recover me completely. Maybe if I try this when I'm closer, it might have more impact.

[ElvisN]

@randomguy123 Try techniques like The Sedona Method, Letting Go, The Lefkoe Method (highly recommended)

 

When you've built the habit of facing and experiencing your pain rather than avoiding it, you could be ready to try some psychedelic, to supercharge your recovery.

 

All the best!

Edited January 29, 2020 by ElvisN

[randomguy123]

@ElvisN Idk about Lefkoe Method, but I've tried Sedona Method and Letting Go as described by David Hawkins. I feel like the latter really gets to the core mechanism of letting go and it is probably what I'm actively experiencing. It works up to a certain point, but letting go of really big stuff that is under hood is pretty damn difficult without heightened awareness I find (which also corresponds with Leo's video on letting go). Sedona method is much more roundabout, I mean you have to ask this whole series of questions, notice, then let go. I owned the book and the full 300$ audio course, but I returned it because it wasn't working, maybe it would be more successful now since I've learned a few things since back then, but idk.

Thanks for commenting.

[ElvisN]

@randomguy123 If you feel the symptoms manifesting predominantly physically, maybe try giving massage therapy a try. It's much simpler and easier to go through than repeatedly having to ask questions as in the Sedona Method.

[randomguy123]

Update: Had a great session of shamanic breathing on 1 pill (150mg) of armodafinil. It made it so clear to me how this sorta stuff is not working, increasing your awareness, doesn't do anything for the substrate having the awareness. At the peak of the experience all the blockages were just relatively less annoying and invisible, which actually made it harder for me to do work on them. The experience I had could also be related to my breathing being quite superficial (because of the knots in my body), but I doubt it. Maybe I could have some success with this method if I were to actively breath into the blockages, but it's pretty difficult to do that, whilst also keeping a decent volume of air going, to get yourself high.

I am doing lots of research on this stuff and I will also go to a doctor sometime next week to get check ups on blood levels, auto-immune conditions (I have a light form of vitiligo), and ask for lots of blood tests. The more I read, the more I think that what I have is really just years of pent up stress, and anxiety, that is stuck in my body. The question is what can you do about that.

Treatment wise it's basically back to square one. I might try a psychiatrist, but because of the psycho-physical nature of this thing, I'm not sure if that would be the most effective thing (could still work though).@ElvisN Massages might help, but I think that things like acupuncture would be much more effective. I've also been trying the TRE that @Timothy  suggested. It's a great technique, it could really change things, if I can get the frequency high enough that is.  I've also found some other things like the clinical somatics program, so I might give that a shot later.

All suggestions are still welcome. Especially any methods that could help to relax body and muscle tension are greatly appreciated!

@Timothy Could you tell me what TRE courses or books you have bought? Is there more depth to the technique than just the 7 steps and a bit of regulation? How far do you think you can take this technique? How long would it take to master?

 

[Keithemson]

Sounds like complex PTSD that results in a freeze response. I've had this all my life, now under control.

 

I'm happy to talk of you would like more info.

 

Simon.

Edited February 23, 2020 by Keithemson

[randomguy123]

@Keithemson  Yh, it's pretty hard to understand and label this stuff, which also makes me feel like a complete weirdo talking about it. I am seeing a psychiatrist in about a week, been putting all my notes and research together to come up with a reasonable description of the problem, symptoms, outgrowth, my goal for treatment, etc.

Freeze response is a great term, I'll look in to it. Most of the time I find myself just googling the most random terms, to find an accurate way of describing my problem.

What treatments did you do to help with your problem? Did you try any somatic experiencing or EMDR?

[Keithemson]

17 hours ago, randomguy123 said:

@Keithemson  Yh, it's pretty hard to understand and label this stuff, which also makes me feel like a complete weirdo talking about it. I am seeing a psychiatrist in about a week, been putting all my notes and research together to come up with a reasonable description of the problem, symptoms, outgrowth, my goal for treatment, etc.

Freeze response is a great term, I'll look in to it. Most of the time I find myself just googling the most random terms, to find an accurate way of describing my problem.

What treatments did you do to help with your problem? Did you try any somatic experiencing or EMDR?

 Let's get in touch I can help you. I'm also a life coach who helps people with emotional issues but I won't charge you for the information. Im also sorry to say that the chances your psychiatrist will miss diagnose you as this illness can seem similar to some types of bi polar and ADHD. Also this complex PTSD reality new and not well studied. Doctors are ignorant of this. The good news is I have a lot of info and books that could change your life if this really is what you suffer of.

 

Pm me and let's talk some more.