Trouble letting go when reaching high states of consciousness

[Nahm]

@WelcometoReality ??♥️  It does seem so...“happiness” is keeping all the write’s off’s in place, my ego, my mind, my thinking, my childhood, my area, my culture, my brain, my life, my parents, my job, etc.  HAPPINESS is what let’s them go. 

“Reaching” higher states.......meh. 

[WelcometoReality]

20 hours ago, Nahm said:

@WelcometoReality ??♥️  It does seem so...“happiness” is keeping all the write’s off’s in place, my ego, my mind, my thinking, my childhood, my area, my culture, my brain, my life, my parents, my job, etc.  HAPPINESS is what let’s them go. 

“Reaching” higher states.......meh. 

Reaching, grasping, pushing away is an energetic movement. The goal of it is happiness but happiness as a goal in time is an illusion. That very movement is in itself causing unhappiness and when that movement ceases there is happiness.

[Visionary]

The very nature of reality is surrenderness. Whatever you're doing is already surrendered. 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Visionary said:

The very nature of reality is surrenderness. Whatever you're doing is already surrendered. 

Not when you believe you're a living and distinct puppet from every other puppets ?

[Visionary]

11 minutes ago, Shin said:

Not when you believe you're a living and distinct puppet from every other puppets ?

Whether you believe in it or not does not matter. You can't be seperate from this everchanging flow of life. The contracted, illusory control is also surrendered by reality from moment to moment without the realization.

Edit: this can be quiet depressing to digest. It can give the ego the feeling like it has no purpose at all. Like it suddenly can't be the hero in its own story. Which eventually can be surrendered too if this is what's destined on the path.

Edited January 8, 2020 by Visionary

[Dlavjr]

1 hour ago, Visionary said:

Whether you believe in it or not does not matter. You can't be seperate from this everchanging flow of life. The contracted, illusory control is also surrendered by reality from moment to moment without the realization.

Edit: this can be quiet depressing to digest. It can give the ego the feeling like it has no purpose at all. Like it suddenly can't be the hero in its own story. Which eventually can be surrendered too if this is what's destined on the path.

I think this is where the subconscious problem lies for me, is attachment to my own story. I've noticed I have a stronger underlying need for control, and when that sense of control is pulled out from beneath me, I start to get severe anxiety. That's kind of why, in my head, I feel like I need to detach from my ego, because I feel like I'm too attached to the dream. What I'm gathering from all these responses however is that integration and acceptance is key, whereas I've been dismissing ego altogether and trying to force my own story out of my mind.