Fulfilling my current deepest desires? Socializing and pickup

[Davidess]

I'm 17 years old high school INTP student and I've come to a point in my life where most of my thoughts and desires are about women and socializing. I descoved Leo a year ago and I've learned a lot from him since then. I've been doing personal development before him but he's made me to be doing it like going to church  . I've already done a lot of self-help work because I was very shy and unconfident in my past. I come from Blue/Orange Christian background (I love my parents, they've been supporting me a lot, we've learned a lot together). In last year I've encountered a lot of emotional obstacles and they've made me to love and accept myself like never before...

 

So, in this journal I'll write about my progress with pickup. I've known about pickup for a long time, but now I commit to it 100%. I've already done a couple approaches and I came down to conclusion that this is a thing I'm focusing on in next years. 

My favourite pickup, dating and realtionship coach is Corey Wayne, I've read his book "How to be a 3% man" already five times (atleast 10 times left ).
Another channel about attraction stuff is YT channel "Develop attraction", I've bought their book and read it just once. And many others (RSD, Todd, Don Bacon, James Marshall, Dynamic Education [this one is in Czech language], etc...) .
Other channels that I follow are Teal Swan and Ralph Smart (emotional mastery, spiritual development, self-awareness...), and of course Leo (I love his philosophy and his teachings, made me cry couple of times ), Joseph Rodrigues and a lot of other channels.

I've had few crushes at my school but I came down to conclusion that they're not worth my time (wasted too much already ).
I feel like school is such a distraction for me right now. I feel like I'm a smart intelligent guy (relative to others ofc ) with straight A's and I get a lot of approval from it and I do not like it, since I'm thinking about how much approval I get almost all the time during school days. I'm fed up with it like addicted rat on sugar. Of course, when someone diminishes me it affects me the opposite way. That's the thing I'm changing. I've studied Nathaniel Branded's work about self-esteem and it's been helping me a lot. Ye, I'm mostly extrinsically confident, not intrinsically right now, so I'm changing it (I've done a lot of progress already).

I'm really into chemistry and biology, that's something what my life purpuse will be about (I've got Life Purpose Course, but I haven't started it yet since I have more fundamental (lower) desires right now, like sex and socializing).

I have a close friend who is with me in this so I can set myself accountable and have emotional support in the beggining.
I already have no problem approaching random people and asking them stuff, but I'm uncomfortable with approching girls about trying to know them (that's the sign I need to do it ) .

I can practise pickup and socializing in 2 cities (with 90k and 240k people, I live near the 90k one, they're the largest I can afford to go to, they are 40 minutes away from each other with train transport, in my country I have free train tickets for slow trains as a student which is perfect for me).

I don't find clubs and bars attractive, altough I may try them in a future.

In this journal I'll write about my insights and my progress. 

Goals to accomplish:

1. make atleast 10 approaches a week (funny thing is that I'm in a city almost every day, this number is possible to accomplish in one day)
2. consciously setting time for approaching women atleast 3/4 times a week (WED, FRI, SAT/SUN) , otherwise I'll just approach when I'm coming home from school or just when hanging around
3. make this approaching part of my daily basis
4. meeting my social, sexual needs, self-esteem needs(with this one I'm currently codependent)
5. becoming more emotionally independent (interdependent?)
6. daily "do nothing meditation" (20 mins minimum)
7. mindfulness meditation during a day
8. integrating lower spiral stages (from red to green)
9. integrating my shadows I project onto others
10. slowly eliminating distractions and unnecessary addictions
11. becoming my own best friend and therapist  
12. practising Self-Love
13. reprogramming my subconscious mind
14. rising my vibration towards unconditional Love
15. becoming more authentic, expressive person
16. becoming aware of my emotions and thoughts, observing them (disidentifying from them)
17. aligning with my truest desires

General Tactics:

• no fap (once a week fap )
• trying to be as much authentic as I can in social interactions
• when I see a stranger on a street I'd like to approach I'll count 321 down to zero and start a conversation, I'll try to know her and if I like her I ask for her number or FB or IG or I just make her day  , if it's a male I'll just make his day or ask something, no need to make dates there
• learning from my mistakes
• I'll try to find women who have high interests in me personally and vice versa and set up dates with them
• displaying masculine energy (with integrated feminine)
• changing my beliefs about realationships, women, socializing
• connecting with people and self-actualising, improving my social, emotional awareness
• using "negative" emotions to fuel my actions
• focusing both on results and progress
• adjusting my tactics towards goals I want to accomplish

 

[Amandine]

Good luck with your goals @Davidess; looks like an awesome 2020! ? 

 

"(relative to others ofc )"

ps. sorry what does ofc mean?

Of course?

Edited January 4, 2020 by Amandine

[Davidess]

Yes   And thank you

[Davidess]

Today I've done 3 approaches. I've had so much anxiety in my body. Jesus. But I'm happy I've done it.
I really like the idea of 5 stages by Todd:
    1. Open
    2. Premise
    3. Evaluate
    4. Narrative 
    5. Close
Today I've done just open and close. It was clear that premise was missing. 
I've used two openers:
    1. Hey, I have one question. Who do you think lies more, men or women?
    2. Hey, tell me a something  you've been doing and liked when you were a child.
Clearly, those are just sentences. But I need to start somewhere. Step by step. Tortoise wins the race.
Even though I just had to say those sentences, I was so anxious. I don't find that as a bad thing though. I find it as a signal from my body that I'm doing a thing I'm not used to be doing. 
I don't find talking to strangers difficult. I find talking to girls at street 'difficult' (although it just feels that way, because I'm not used to it).

My first approach was very uncalibrated. I jumped in front of them and I scared them LOL. They were like 'huh??'???(they were 2) and I asked them a simple question number 1. I was speaking so fast and I was so nervous. But it was a success. I was feeling so anxious. I left the conversation. They were very pretty. I felt the awkwardness at the end. But whatever. I'm happy I've done it.
My second one was a quicker one. I used question number 2. I left first again.
My third one was quick as well. I used question number 1. They were like 'why are you asking *us* this question?'. I answered because I'm learning to talk to strangers. And they left. 
I feel like I could approach like 10 more girls... but whatever. For the first time it's more than enough.
Things to improve next time:
    • Learn to speak calmly, clearly, and talking the way they understand you.
    • Don't be afraid to do that. I love you and you can do this. It's like going to the gym for the first time?
    • Really. I know how you felt. That's alright though. Don't be afraid. TALK TO MORE WOMEN❤
    • I really felt that after couple of seconds that premise was missing in a conversation. But I'd like to focus more on that open more. Master the open so I can move towards mastering a premise.
    • I have no problem creating conversations with women I'm sexually interested in my head. In real life it's just more emotionally difficult(different?)?
    • PRACTISE PRACTISE PRACTISE❤