Strong determination sitting without set time?

[Svartsaft]

Is it a good idea? I notice i can sit for an hour. I could. Im realy pissed off right now becouse of something completly diffrent. But then i just cant anymore. Was going for 1,5h didnt make it. Realy pissed me off. Alot of things realy piss me of. But that just pissed me off. So ok fine. 1hour. But i cant anymore. Fuck sake i have a problem doing 15-20min. 

 

So i thought. Should i just. Fuck how ever long i sit. Just as long as i can handle? Everytime. Is that better or worse? I feel like if i set a time. It will just end up with me being realy pissed off. That i cant. But why the fuck cant i anymore? Why the fuck could i sit there for an hour before? And then. Nope. This shit seem 1. Impossible to improve. 2. The only fucking choice i have in life or i blow my brains out. Seriously. 

Is it like this? I thought the progress what somewhat liniar? Any thoughts on that? 

Also. Im mentally realy unwell. Psycosis. Horrible agression. Pain thats just insane. No therapy has ever worked. Nothing has worked ever. So this is the last thing iv got before i just blow my brains out on life. And then i look at people like fucking ben. Sitting and smiling guy. Cool. He must be sane. Nope. Haha. He sitts for 8hours like its nothing. And is fucking wierd. As a person. So it got my hopes down hard. But i see no other ways. Besides blowing my brains out.

[Stakres]

Seek professional help. Therapy, psychiatrist, hotlines. Please get help. New age, enlightenment, meditation are not the answer. Please get professional, licensed, scientific help.

[purerogue]

It is completely normal that you have days that you cant sit even 5 minuted and days where you can sit for hours. 

I would not force it , probably pointless at this point anyway and skipping few days is not even big problem. 

Do not worry you can change, you would be surprised how much you can change if you put in work needed to make changes happen. 

I would suggest to check Matt Kahn videos to deal emotional issues, even if you do not like the guy , I still would insist to listen to his videos, he is expert in dealing with emotions, if you watch videos and still do not understand what to do send me PM. 

I would balance it out with some observation but I am sure he has covered it. 

 

 

[Eph75]

Yes, seek professional help. It is calling out to you to take action. 

Meditation while there is something that is calling for you to take action is hard. Letting go of thoughts is one thing, alot of thoughts are just distractions, but some things call out for action that must be taken.

Edited January 4, 2020 by Eph75

[purerogue]

Just now, Eph75 said:

Yes, seek professional help. It is calling out to you to take action. 

Meditation while there is something that is calling for you to take action is hard. Letting go of thoughts is one thing, alot of thoughts are distractions, but some things call out for action that must be taken.

Trust me , most professionals are more useless then help you can get on forum. 

[Stakres]

@purerogue This is very dangerous advice to someone who is suicidal. The first step is to get help from a professional who is licensed and has dealt with other patients in a professional setting.

He needs 1on1 help to save his life, not some bogus advice on a forum.

 

@Svartsaft Please get professional help. Please consider to stop looking for answers on this forum. You won't find the help you need here. Here is a list of international suicide hotlines:

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

[purerogue]

Just now, Stakres said:

@purerogue This is very dangerous advice to someone who is suicidal. The first step is to get help from a professional who is licensed and has dealt with other patients in a professional setting.

He needs 1on1 help to save his life, not some bogus advice on a forum.

 

@Svartsaft Please get professional help. Please consider to stop looking for answers on this forum. You won't find the help you need here. Here is a list of international suicide hotlines:

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

How is it dangerous, because I say that I can help ? 

I think he stated that therapy did not help him and I am not surprised, as most of people there do not know anything about human psychology, just textbook data without them self actually understanding how mind works. 

Not saying that there are no good professionals, there are, but if you watch people reviews,videos made by them, or just how industry it self is made to be pill prescription  you would understand how bad it is,

 

[Stakres]

If someone broke their leg, I think the first step would be to get professional help: go to a doctor right away.

I don't doubt that you can help. But I think the responsible advice to some who says "But i see no other ways. Besides blowing my brains out" ie is suicidal, is to get professional help. Only then he can maybe look into help on forums

[purerogue]

7 minutes ago, Stakres said:

If someone broke their leg, I think the first step would be to get professional help: go to a doctor right away.

I don't doubt that you can help. But I think the responsible advice to some who says "But i see no other ways. Besides blowing my brains out" ie is suicidal, is to get professional help. Only then he can maybe look into help on forums

You are comparing physical observation with psychological where your normal tools do not work. 

I can help you too , to see further then you can now, you have potential if you can open your mind.

[TheAlchemist]

Nothing really beats 1on1 contact with serious emotional troubles. Professionals can provide you with something to lean on and someone you can trust. Self-help is best left for when things are more stable. I truly wish you make it through these struggles. God speed my friend ❤

[Vipassana]

what technique are you doing? If you're pursuing an unorthodox practice with an intent to "quiet your mind" then you're bound to fail. 

Since you've discovered that "professional" help doesn't work for you then maybe it time to explore different modalities. 

Resort to different approaches. Maybe psychedelics will work for you... maybe reiki... maybe energy work like qi gong... maybe martial arts etc etc.

doing the same thing again and again & expecting different results is definitely counter intuitive especially when it comes to meditation but don't take it to a point where you're becoming ill. There lies deeper problem that merely sitting for 20 minutes wont help. 

Yes. A determination sit without a set time might help you. I just recommend that you find a good technique and stick with it.

Be compassionate with yourself. What really matters is the attempts you make... not really the results you get.