just in short: 'without her, i feel unhappy' what should i do?

[Tiny Nietzsche]

- TLDR: tbh, without her, i feel unhappy

- im 25, male, been waiting for her for 4 years, our relationship is quite complex, its progress has been slowly developing over the years (because she hardly opens up for me)

- (i used to have gf for 4 times before, im not a nerd who is new to love, but this one is whole different)

- what should i do? how to rethink? my brain don't understand any messages, it needs her, it wants her

[Chakra Lion]

Let her know how you feel. Just say everything you wanted to say, and listen to her reaction. If she wants it too, then make the changes that will bring you happiness. If she is not ready or doesn't want to, let go of the fantasy that you need her.

Realize, that you being alive and able to experience anything at all, is reason enough to be grateful for whatever you receive on top of that. 

[Tiny Nietzsche]

6 minutes ago, Chakra Lion said:

Let her know how you feel. Just say everything you wanted to say, and listen to her reaction. If she wants it too, then make the changes that will bring you happiness. If she is not ready or doesn't want to, let go of the fantasy that you need her.

Realize, that you being alive and able to experience anything at all, is reason enough to be grateful for whatever you receive on top of that. 

listen to her reaction
i definitely know her answer, it would kill me alive 

let go of the fantasy that you need her.
how? the power of letting go right?

the main problem is my brain don't listen, it deosn't understand, i know everything to end this but i just barely know it..
many say time will do its duty.. if i have a gut to let go (it lingers for 4 years because i never tried to let go seriously)

ty much anyway 

[Svartsaft]

3 hours ago, Tiny Nietzsche said:

- TLDR: tbh, without her, i feel unhappy

- im 25, male, been waiting for her for 4 years, our relationship is quite complex, its progress has been slowly developing over the years (because she hardly opens up for me)

- (i used to have gf for 4 times before, im not a nerd who is new to love, but this one is whole different)

- what should i do? how to rethink? my brain don't understand any messages, it needs her, it wants her

No you dont need her. At all. Make sure your happy on your own. Then you can get in a relationship. This you need her will just fuck with you. She can basically treat you how ever she please becouse you think you need her in life. Is my experience from getting crazy hurt by people. Becouse i thought i needed them. I rather die. 

[LaucherJunge]

Do all the steps necessary to become happy without her. If you are not able to do that you are simply not there yet and need more lessons that she can teach you through the suffering she is causing. Eventually you will get there and be happy without her and there is really no other way if you are serious about growth and spiritual work you can not ever rely on someone else to make you happy that is always just a lesson to teach you how to become happy, how to love yourself and then of course you can start having real relationships with unconditional love where both parties are happy on their own.

[Meetjoeblack]

On 02/01/2020 at 0:57 PM, Tiny Nietzsche said:

- TLDR: tbh, without her, i feel unhappy

- im 25, male, been waiting for her for 4 years, our relationship is quite complex, its progress has been slowly developing over the years (because she hardly opens up for me)

- (i used to have gf for 4 times before, im not a nerd who is new to love, but this one is whole different)

- what should i do? how to rethink? my brain don't understand any messages, it needs her, it wants her

Being needy is a great way to send her the message that she can pin ball off chad and Tyrone + you'll be waiting for her after that. 

Man up. Get a grip. Get a life. Move forward with or without her. Your happiness is based on her which is not fair nor fun to her. Even worse, you are a grown ass 25 yr old need man basing happiness on a girl. 

There are billion of girls and at midnight, more are turning 18 until forever. 

 

Food for thought. 

Edited January 9, 2020 by Meetjoeblack