My relationships with women are different now

[assx95]

Women I love are incapable of loving me. They ignore me, they call me disgusting, they flake on me. I don't know any woman including my mother, who accepts me as I am. 

I just let it slide. 

I won't disturb some of them again. I would try again, to make things work with others. I sometimes have tears, but I don't feel like a complete victim. I do the emotionally hard thing - To accept things as they are, and not judge them for any reason. 

Life is so short that I'm sure moments would just fly by and I'd be on my deathbed, although i deliberately try to slow things down. I'm indifferent to whether I live or die. Anything is fine. 

I feel love differently now, like love is in the air, or a cool breeze near my chest, or just by being in the moment, I don't expect relationships to last, but I do wish to completely love the other person in the moment. There is still that desire to have someone who loves me, but I know it's far fetched . I'll do what I do best- Give love, and feel it. I let my hurt surface when it does, and I feel it fully. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

It's all about having self respect (self-love in other words). Man who loves himself will not get involved / stay in a relationship that brings him more hurt than joy.

It's also about creating boundries from the start, telling what you want and what you do not accept from a woman, without a fear or getting rejected / misunderstood / whatever.

Girl will either accept you as you are or will tell you her boundries and it's up to you, if you are willing to do what she wants from you or not - and vice versa.

When you get hurt enough times you will understand - it's not always about "being good" or "giving" all the time. Because not all people are like that. There are people that will be fucking happy as hell, that they found someone who they can drain from energy and use them for their own good (aka narcissists aka energy vampires).

Read about shadow work, get better boundries, always think about yourself first (healthy egoitism) and keep going, keep trying, keep failing. 

Eventually you'll learn and grow. Good luck.

(Not sure how it really relates to your story, I'm still going through mine and I'm kind of self-biased writing that)

Edited December 31, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[assx95]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Man who loves himself will not get involved / stay in a relationship that brings him more hurt than joy.

It's also about creating boundries from the start, telling what you want and what you do not accept from a woman, without a fear or getting rejected / misunderstood / whatever.

This is on point. 

 

[universe]

Have you tried getting some tipps from friends or even a coach? You overall approach to this sounds good but it could be that you do some small things that irritate woman.

Some advice from afar:

Self-love. Do it. Feel it. You already have it. But maybe its not as much in your awareness.

Assume that woman already like you and if not that they will like you if they let you spend more time with them. That is definitely not the case, as there are always some woman who wont like you or me or anyone for that matter. But it helps you to think this way as you will become automatically more charismatic.

[Meetjoeblack]

On 31/12/2019 at 9:02 AM, assx95 said:

Women I love are incapable of loving me. They ignore me, they call me disgusting, they flake on me. I don't know any woman including my mother, who accepts me as I am. 

I just let it slide. 

I won't disturb some of them again. I would try again, to make things work with others. I sometimes have tears, but I don't feel like a complete victim. I do the emotionally hard thing - To accept things as they are, and not judge them for any reason. 

Life is so short that I'm sure moments would just fly by and I'd be on my deathbed, although i deliberately try to slow things down. I'm indifferent to whether I live or die. Anything is fine. 

I feel love differently now, like love is in the air, or a cool breeze near my chest, or just by being in the moment, I don't expect relationships to last, but I do wish to completely love the other person in the moment. There is still that desire to have someone who loves me, but I know it's far fetched . I'll do what I do best- Give love, and feel it. I let my hurt surface when it does, and I feel it fully. 

We're in a era of utter stupidity. Don't ever mistake your value based upon flaking or shitty people. You can't love anybody you don't know.

Focus on improving. Increase your SMV, lift weights, eat healthy,  read,  educate yourself which isn't necessarily the classroom. Chat up lots of girls. See who likes you. Proceed according to the outcomes. Take nothing to heart. Prioritize purpose. Lifestyle is key. 

Stop placing value on what women think of you. Love yourself. Exercise. Quit being emo. Put it towards something productive. There's too much time gifted to girls who think you're disgusting. Where's the return on investment? 

As for being disgusting, do you shower? Is it poor hygiene? Is this female entitlement? Example below. 

Quote

 

As OK Cupid has demonstrated, women rate 80 percent of men below average."

http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2011/06/vox-at-alpha-game-dont-listen-to-female.html?m=1

 

If its hygiene, handle it. If its entitlement, who cares. Your SMV rises later. Most men hit their stride late.  Learn meditation. Practice freedom from outcome and intent proceed towards what you want. Learn from the experience but taking nothing to heart. Its not personal. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. 

It gets better with time. You have purpose, direction, its not the end all. You get more confidence.  You date more. More importantly, You know thyself. start there. 

Edited January 2, 2020 by Meetjoeblack