Introversion and Relationships

[TDW1995]

I have always been an introvert in that I prefer to be in my own space much of my day. This is the reason I have very little experience with women. I've been pretty shy in the past, but I believe that if I "got out" more I'd be fine around people. But that's the thing. I'm not into bars (I dislike drinking), and I don't like the idea of being online. I feel like these are the only opportunities in today's world to put yourself out there and experience relationships. Also, since doing enlightenment work, dating/relationships had been less of a priority for me, but I still very much crave sexual intimacy and think experiencing relationships is important. This issue sometimes makes me feel depressed, ashamed, and embarrassed about the lack of experience I have. There have been several instances where women reached out to me because they think I'm "cute" or "attractive," so I know I'm not completely repulsive to women. Is there any advice you'd have for an introvert who dislikes the bar scene? I also plan on continuing enlightenment work, but putting emphasis in the basic personal development area of dating is something I think I need to take seriously too.

[Forestluv]

Maybe there are “meetup” groups for singles in your area?

I’m introverted as well. Dating involves at least a basic level of crawling out from one’s turtle shell. Online seems easy for an introvert. I just setup a date and meet. Extroverted women are generally to outgoing and intense for me. I prefer women that are toward the introverted side and immersing ourselves together. 

And if women flirt with you, you might want to take a deep breath and put yourself out there. 

If there is some anxiety about rejection and getting hurt, I would have some healthy personal boundaries and keep an eye out for kindness and caring. 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

I'm am super introverted to (though people often dont know, even my friends)... there are introverts that are front-people in bands on a stage... it's a matter of forcing one's self, regularily.... I actually have a box of imaginary bravery mints... it's how i force myself to step out of my comfort zone... maybe you can find something like that... I have dated extroverts before... and its rad; they will make sure you meet everyone in the room, etc... but it's also nice to date fellow introverts too and often a better connection.... I dont think it matters as much with online dating...  I dont know if you can even tell right away anyway... IDK

[TDW1995]

Thanks for the responses. I just think it's a matter of putting myself out in public more instead of being confined within the walls of my workplace and apartment. Some sort of group would probably work best.

[LordFall]

Game was basically invented by introverted nerds who didn't drink much. Don't use your introversion as an excuse to not be able to navigate and enjoy hectic social situations. Clubs are a great way for an introvert to push his social skills. It's your arch-nemesis, loud environments that mostly rely on physicality and vibe as opposed to conversations. 

Took me 75+ times going to clubs to actually start to learn how to enjoy myself. Grabbing girls felt awkward. Dancing felt awkward. Screaming to be heard felt awkward. All great shit to get over. And once you do, your introverted self actually thrives in that environment and you got an edge on all the extraverted bros. 

Take a look at really basic game stuff and you'll find it gives you a lot of value in this context. Combine it with the self-development stuff Leo does and you can make the most out of this dating stuff. I got no worries for you, my dude. 

[Gili Trawangan]

I'm an introvert myself and I can tell you that you don't have to rely on absolutely anything to find relationships i. e. bars or online.

Just start approaching women. In a coffee shop, on the street, at a bus stop, wherever. You don't need bars, you don't need to be loud, you don't need alcohol, you don't need the endless boring online chatting.

[Chakra Lion]

Think about the type of person you want to find. Someone into being healthy and clear in their head most likely wont be looking for a man in the clubs or bars. Just like someone who is very outgoing and extroverted might not be in the library. Just go to the places where the people are that you want to be with. Festivals, Meetup Groups, Concerts, Art Shows...

Focus on making Friends. Connect and experience life with a friend. Share your truths and life lessons, listen to them, and help them be who they want to be. A Relationship works better with a Friendship.