On Nofap and having a girlfriend. Help.

[Danioover9000]

   It's been more than a month since I've taken on the nofap hard mode challenge and being with a girlfriend. I've lately experienced some side effects:

   Intense insomnia. Even when I've tired myself out physically and mentally, I still have energy to be wakeful at midnight. Am I experiencing a form of hyper mania or mania that plagued Victorian women?

   Hyper aggression. Holy shit. Even though I meditate every day, and developed good letting go abilities with doing some tai chi, yoga and meditation, on occasions that're weekly or monthly I go through a phase where I figuratively transform into a werewolf. Do I keep meditating and letting go and treat it like a phase?

   Too much attention from women. This I started noticing and was brought to my attention by my girlfriend. And this is starting to bother me and my girl a bit. If you have any insight into downplaying this share.

   I'm at the very least free from Pornography and it doesn't bother me much. I've done a lot of work to unwire this part.

   

[Danioover9000]

Hello? Anybody there?

[Meetjoeblack]

15 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

   It's been more than a month since I've taken on the nofap hard mode challenge and being with a girlfriend. I've lately experienced some side effects:

   Intense insomnia. Even when I've tired myself out physically and mentally, I still have energy to be wakeful at midnight. Am I experiencing a form of hyper mania or mania that plagued Victorian women?

   Hyper aggression. Holy shit. Even though I meditate every day, and developed good letting go abilities with doing some tai chi, yoga and meditation, on occasions that're weekly or monthly I go through a phase where I figuratively transform into a werewolf. Do I keep meditating and letting go and treat it like a phase?

   Too much attention from women. This I started noticing and was brought to my attention by my girlfriend. And this is starting to bother me and my girl a bit. If you have any insight into downplaying this share.

   I'm at the very least free from Pornography and it doesn't bother me much. I've done a lot of work to unwire this part.

   

You have been domesticated lol. 

Its one of the things that most annoys me with society and man hating. I am with you on no pornhub. I use to think it was lefty jargon and trad con nonsensical moralising. With age, my perspective has changed. I don't think porn should be censored. Obv age restrictions etc for viewing and partaking obviously. I just note how much wasted time is pissed on porn. Worse, its cuckoldry. You fap to other people which is nasty. 

 

You not fapping means higher T. Not lower. There's a lot soy boys. The world doesn't need more. It's a shift. Meditation is great for a hyper active mind but it is best used for action taking after. 

If you are not fapping, WHY? WHY NO PORN? If you make the conscious choice, hood on you. If you got soy boy guilt tripped this won't end well lol. 

You need to workout, have more sex, get into jui jitsui or mma. Utilise testosterone. Its superb you get IOIs (approach invitations) from other girls. Likely, you won't have to handle attention seeking behaviour from your gf online. You don't have to cheat. Being wanted by other women is attractive in ways that not being wanted isn't. 

Utilise the testosterone. Get into yoga with your girl. Learn kamasutra together. 

 

Be unapologetic about masculinity, your testosterone, and your truth. Lmfao have sex before yoga. You don't want to be walking around with a semi lol. Use the testosterone. Pound weights. Pound her lol. 

 

[Danioover9000]

@Meetjoeblack  Thanks.

[Austin Actualizing]

You can release once a week and that way you will still retain some of the benefits and mitigate the side effects. I've experienced both insomnia myself and the increase in attention from women, but just mild aggression. My longest streak is 210 days. 

[Lento]

The insomnia is not a problem. Sleeping is overrated. You can do a lot of meaningful and positive things while you are awake, than just sleeping. If you don't feel sleepy or dizzy at day, then where's the problem? You can use this time for contemplation at the very least. I've had a kundalini awakening, and now I can't sleep for more than four hours continuously. I usually sleep at 8-9 pm and wake up at midnight, and remain awake until 5-6 am, then I sleep for one hour or two. I don't feel bad in my body, and my focus is sharp as always, probably even better.

The anger issue will dissolve by time and awareness (meditation).

The other girls getting attracted to you is an opportunity for you to see some part of the world from the feminine perspective. Think of it as an easy opportunity for you to learn detachment. The more demand, the less supply.

[Danioover9000]

14 hours ago, Austin Actualizing said:

You can release once a week and that way you will still retain some of the benefits and mitigate the side effects. I've experienced both insomnia myself and the increase in attention from women, but just mild aggression. My longest streak is 210 days. 

   Thanks for your advice.

13 hours ago, Lento said:

The insomnia is not a problem. Sleeping is overrated. You can do a lot of meaningful and positive things while you are awake, than just sleeping. If you don't feel sleepy or dizzy at day, then where's the problem? You can use this time for contemplation at the very least. I've had a kundalini awakening, and now I can't sleep for more than four hours continuously. I usually sleep at 8-9 pm and wake up at midnight, and remain awake until 5-6 am, then I sleep for one hour or two. I don't feel bad in my body, and my focus is sharp as always, probably even better.

The anger issue will dissolve by time and awareness (meditation).

The other girls getting attracted to you is an opportunity for you to see some part of the world from the feminine perspective. Think of it as an easy opportunity for you to learn detachment. The more demand, the less supply.

   Thanks for your advice.

[Javfly33]

What exactly is the problem here really?

It's like I start to doing fasting and I complain that I start to get irritated, maniatic, or way to careless about not very important topics.

You are putting your body in a abnormal state (doesn't have to be bad, I'm just saying is not the usual state, to not ejaculate) so expects changes in your physiology.

By the way, the "women noticing you" is totally placebo. You are just probably more social / looking at the eyes therefore you notice it more. Don't worry about that LOL

[Danioover9000]

9 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

What exactly is the problem here really?

It's like I start to doing fasting and I complain that I start to get irritated, maniatic, or way to careless about not very important topics.

You are putting your body in a abnormal state (doesn't have to be bad, I'm just saying is not the usual state, to not ejaculate) so expects changes in your physiology.

By the way, the "women noticing you" is totally placebo. You are just probably more social / looking at the eyes therefore you notice it more. Don't worry about that LOL

   Here are the exact problems: INSOMNIA, HYPER AGGRESSION, TOO MUCH ATTENTION.

   I'm having trouble getting good quality sleep. I sometimes wake up late. I sometimes feel groggy, and more irritable than usual. 

   I try my best not to get too riled up and am thankful I can channel this into a martial art and exercise. But this level of anger is worrying to me because it arose a few times in some social situations, and I managed to keep myself grounded. I was not expecting this much anger to happen during Nofap.

   I'm more worried that this much attention would strain our relationship and put unnecessary pressure on my girlfriend. Moreover, I became more aware of a feeling of disgust. To what? To have to face the possibility of cheating on her. And I'm starting to work through this feeling.

   

[Spiral]

Exercise more. Maybe lift some weights. As for aggression try gratitude journaling. 

Edited January 1, 2020 by Spiral

[Danioover9000]

8 hours ago, Spiral said:

Exercise more. Maybe lift some weights. As for aggression try gratitude journaling. 

   Thanks, already on the gratitude journaling.

[ALLIS]

no fap is not for everyone i need to say this after a lot of experience with 

my opinion is that no fap is awesome to do when you dont have girlfriend but if you have one there is no point in doing it unless you are addicted to sex in relationship.Better to learn using sex in a productive spiritual way with a partner one of recommendation is "from sex to superconsciousness" is good one for foundation but for practice part maybe diamond in lotus but maybe others have better sources

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Use your surplus of energy for more physical activity or other types of creation. If you really exert yourself physically in a healthy way you will sleep better and channel the raw aggression. Be sure to keep your nutrition on point, maybe take some sleepy herb teas or a little melatonin for the insomnia. Don't let the perceived higher attention from women bother you, totally own it. If you get horny, soak in the horniness and try to capture that raw energy to use for your life as a whole. Learn to handle more and more amounts of pent up horniness without release. Im not saying flirt with them per say if you have a girlfriend, but you can have positive interactions with women knowing they are attracted to you and be able to hold down that desire which is extremely hard and beneficial to do for growth. 

[Danioover9000]

1 hour ago, ALLIS said:

no fap is not for everyone i need to say this after a lot of experience with 

my opinion is that no fap is awesome to do when you dont have girlfriend but if you have one there is no point in doing it unless you are addicted to sex in relationship.Better to learn using sex in a productive spiritual way with a partner one of recommendation is "from sex to superconsciousness" is good one for foundation but for practice part maybe diamond in lotus but maybe others have better sources

   Thanks for your suggestion. I might reconsider being in this Nofap state. Both my girlfriend and I love to experiment around with our lovemaking, including making it spiritual like astral sex. She'd be the death of me if we'd do it in diamond lotus 

20 minutes ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

Use your surplus of energy for more physical activity or other types of creation. If you really exert yourself physically in a healthy way you will sleep better and channel the raw aggression. Be sure to keep your nutrition on point, maybe take some sleepy herb teas or a little melatonin for the insomnia. Don't let the perceived higher attention from women bother you, totally own it. If you get horny, soak in the horniness and try to capture that raw energy to use for your life as a whole. Learn to handle more and more amounts of pent up horniness without release. Im not saying flirt with them per say if you have a girlfriend, but you can have positive interactions with women knowing they are attracted to you and be able to hold down that desire which is extremely hard and beneficial to do for growth. 

   Thanks for your suggestions! All I got to do is exert myself a bit more in my exercises, my hobbies and take some melatonin and get used to chamomile tea.

   When you say soak in the horniness, do you mean 'sexual transmutation'? I've heard about it somewhere before. Suggest any methods for sexual transmutation?

    Speaking about horniness, I've experienced what some would call edging and the 'blue balls'. What I haven't found yet when Nofappers talk about this is that it's even more painful the longer your on Nofap. A week or two in, no problem, just uncomfortable for roughly an hour. A month or more in, was enough to give me cramps for hours. So if I transmute my sexual energy, I keep it short and simple?

   

[ALLIS]

26 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

   Thanks for your suggestion. I might reconsider being in this Nofap state. Both my girlfriend and I love to experiment around with our lovemaking, including making it spiritual like astral sex. She'd be the death of me if we'd do it in diamond lotus 

   

Hahah bro those are books not positions ?

Even great master like Gurgijev sended his students to have sex sometimes It becomes counter productive.

Without spiritual practice you will never sustain no fap anyway.

With partner you can use sex as a tool but it only works if both are interested so if your partner don't want to explore that well sex will becomes obstacle...

Sexual energy is most powerful energy in body and according to some masters lust is last to leave on the path so better learn to how to use it.

 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

@Danioover9000 Yes, talking about transmutation. But before you can transmute in my experience the challenge is containing it in the first place when you want a release. Once you can tolerate more of the energy, then you can release in constructive ways.

Regarding other women:

https://deida.info/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/BK00906-interior-pages-27.pdf

He's talking about young women here specifically but still apply it to any female attention you get. 

[lostmedstudent]

Just for clarifying, you still have sex with your gf and orgasm, or no orgasm whatsoever at all?