Why Am I Running From Love

[Raptorsin7]

I've come to the realization that when i sit in silence and feel what's inside, there is a restless feeling or sort of discomfort. When i try to be fully present, and surrender to what is, I get weird vibrations in my face and I can feel the resistance to fully letting go. My mind/ego is clinging so hard and it won't fully surrender. The process of surrendering feels a bit violent/uncomfortable. But i also realize that on the other side of this surrender is love. But I just can't take the plunge.

How do i move past this? Am I being limited by my own framing of the situation in thinking? Thoughts?

[purerogue]

28 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I've come to the realization that when i sit in silence and feel what's inside, there is a restless feeling or sort of discomfort. When i try to be fully present, and surrender to what is, I get weird vibrations in my face and I can feel the resistance to fully letting go. My mind/ego is clinging so hard and it won't fully surrender. The process of surrendering feels a bit violent/uncomfortable. But i also realize that on the other side of this surrender is love. But I just can't take the plunge.

How do i move past this? Am I being limited by my own framing of the situation in thinking? Thoughts?

To my knowledge everyone struggle with it, keep trying and eventually you will get trough to face next barrier, what could help though is awareness practice, or rather observing of your own actions thoughts, you do not need to meditate to do it, it will make you less attached to your personality, which will make it easier to get trough.

Edited December 27, 2019 by purerogue

[Visionary]

When it gets difficult its because the mind is trying to surrender the mind (chasing your own tail).

It's about surrendering the surrendering, meaning that reality is continuesly surrendering itself. The observation of everything is happening continuesly whether the ego is having the illusion of participating in it or not. 

[Stakres]

You are a human primate. Your organism is creating that kind of feeling. You can't change what your organism creates. You could try to sit with that feeling and just be with it, without wanting it to change. Don't try to surrender, try being with it and accepting it as it is

[zeroISinfinity]

@Raptorsin7you are not human primate.

Try to stay as that Love longer. Don't be afraid. 

Every barrier you feel allow it to dissolve. 

You are somthing much greater then chimp drop that perspective. 

It is what it I am human primate is beleif is it. 

Drop them all. BE THAT LOVE. 

That is what @Nahm said to you. 

apply YOURSELF. 

Edited January 4, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Stakres]

@zeroISinfinity Why is he not a human primate? Isn't there a lot of peer-reviewed evidence that we are human primates?

[zeroISinfinity]

Substance of that body of "human primate" is Love. It's made out of it. Literally.

There is nothing physical about Reality. 

 

[Stakres]

15 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Substance of that body of "human primate" is Love. It's made out of it. Literally.

There is nothing physical about Reality. 

How do you know all this?

[LfcCharlie4]

Just sit with it mate, it is not easy unfortunately, but Learning to be with and completely embrace EVERY thought and emotion is a key part of this journey.

I know exactly what you mean, I used to find sitting with sadness, or that feeling of lack so difficult, the paradox is when you fully accept it, you allow the feeling to flourish, have its dance and pass through you, you fully feel it and let it go. 
 

Im not going to lie and say it’s easy, but whenever it arises allow it to be just as it is, with complete acceptance.

Think of yourself as a guest house to your thoughts and emotions, treat them all with love and kindness, how you’d treat a guest if you owned a guesthouse  

[Mu_]

On 12/27/2019 at 1:10 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

I've come to the realization that when i sit in silence and feel what's inside, there is a restless feeling or sort of discomfort. When i try to be fully present, and surrender to what is, I get weird vibrations in my face and I can feel the resistance to fully letting go. My mind/ego is clinging so hard and it won't fully surrender. The process of surrendering feels a bit violent/uncomfortable. But i also realize that on the other side of this surrender is love. But I just can't take the plunge.

How do i move past this? Am I being limited by my own framing of the situation in thinking? Thoughts?

Its not easy, but don't overly force yourself to push.  Just acknowledge the case, let go in baby steps, don't judge yourself thinking it means something that this is the case and relax.  In time things will dislodge naturally and perhaps at times you may want to push a little into a healthy uncomfortability zone to show yourself its ok still, its just fear, its just anger, its just uncomfortable, none of which ultimately mean something about us as a whole, but may be understood that perhaps there's trauma on some level of the psych and there's a time story based reason.  And perhaps this will even be seen through in some way....  Your doing good, keep with it.

[Nahm]

Yes, you are limiting by believing thoughts, thus creating the frame, the lens.

Love loves the identity game, loves the running, loves the suffering and loves the surrendering! Love loves every possible experience, every attempt to escape actuality, each & every such expansion of self, love, self-love .  Run faster! You will get there! You can outrun yourself!  Run run run!!! And the runner is only more deeply known, and more deeply loved.

Awareness only of thought, perception, and sensation...love weaves the infinite stories. Awareness does not know the objects, only the thoughts, sensations & perception..inseparable of the knowing of them...awareness knows, is aware of, only awareness. This illusion of becoming, of getting to. 

If you are radically open minded, realize you are not, and the walls start to actually break down, the separate self begins to crumble in truth love. Trade routine habitual thinking for healing modalities of all kinds. Trade television for new experiences, appointments with psychics, healers, mediums, reiki, etc. Trade unwanted patterns for healing, meditations, new affirmations of well being. Trade wandering rumination for the concentrated power of appreciation. Trade the fantasy of there for the ordinary actuality of the peaceful magic of here. Trade what you would and could be, for what you are. Trade aimless seeking for on purpose healing. I was the runner too, but I ran to love - and the realization actually began... no past to run from, no future to run to. Only this now, which all appears to come & go, where I have been creating all along, where I have been the creation all along...and I saw the unconsciousness. It’s taste was horrid & disgusting. The essence of waste. Only the unconscious believing of thoughts, and the suffering stories of.  

Trade the winner of tomorrow, for the peace of now, the cunning for giving - and love is won. Trade involving others in your plights, for solo retreats alone to see through them. Trade culture for self, roles for actuality, thoughts of “then” for nothing, now. Unwittingly trading fear for love, Give yourself to Self.. now never comes, never leaves, never goes anywhere. Trade the identity of all that’s amassed, down to the habits & person, for nothing, just to see what it is. 

Run! Suffer! Straight into love. Discover your power in creation - create maximum suffering! Believe all your stories of you!  You are the helm. Worry! Stress! You’re running into the arms of your love.  You say I am frustrated, and you are. You say I am running, and you are. You say I don’t know what I want to do, and you don’t. You say I am running, and you are.  You say I am love, and you are. Look to your past, having led to this, to exactly, precisely this, and see the power of the slow moving momentum of choice. Worry not, you can make a choice. Ruminate not, you can make a choice. Even an instance of lightening, has nothing on gravity. Slow, steady, gentle, unseen momentum. A castle is the illusion of grains of sand, and cells the person. You are the awareness of. The love of. While you run to love, love runs to you. Run!

[zeroISinfinity]

38 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Yes, you are limiting by believing thoughts, thus creating the frame, the lens.

Love loves the identity game, loves the running, loves the suffering and loves the surrendering! Love loves every possible experience, every attempt to escape actuality, each & every such expansion of self, love, self-love .  Run faster! You will get there! You can outrun yourself!  Run run run!!! And the runner is only more deeply known, and more deeply loved.

Awareness only of thought, perception, and sensation...love weaves the infinite stories. Awareness does not know the objects, only the thoughts, sensations & perception..inseparable of the knowing of them...awareness knows, is aware of, only awareness. This illusion of becoming, of getting to. 

If you are radically open minded, realize you are not, and the walls start to actually break down, the separate self begins to crumble in truth love. Trade routine habitual thinking for healing modalities of all kinds. Trade television for new experiences, appointments with psychics, healers, mediums, reiki, etc. Trade unwanted patterns for healing, meditations, new affirmations of well being. Trade wandering rumination for the concentrated power of appreciation. Trade the fantasy of there for the ordinary actuality of the peaceful magic of here. Trade what you would and could be, for what you are. Trade aimless seeking for on purpose healing. I was the runner too, but I ran to love - and the realization actually began... no past to run from, no future to run to. Only this now, which all appears to come & go, where I have been creating all along, where I have been the creation all along...and I saw the unconsciousness. It’s taste was horrid & disgusting. The essence of waste. Only the unconscious believing of thoughts, and the suffering stories of.  

Trade the winner of tomorrow, for the peace of now, the cunning for giving - and love is won. Trade involving others in your plights, for solo retreats alone to see through them. Trade culture for self, roles for actuality, thoughts of “then” for nothing, now. Unwittingly trading fear for love, Give yourself to Self.. now never comes, never leaves, never goes anywhere. Trade the identity of all that’s amassed, down to the habits & person, for nothing, just to see what it is. 

Run! Suffer! Straight into love. Discover your power in creation - create maximum suffering! Believe all your stories of you!  You are the helm. Worry! Stress! You’re running into the arms of your love.  You say I am frustrated, and you are. You say I am running, and you are. You say I don’t know what I want to do, and you don’t. You say I am running, and you are.  You say I am love, and you are. Look to your past, having led to this, to exactly, precisely this, and see the power of the slow moving momentum of choice. Worry not, you can make a choice. Ruminate not, you can make a choice. Even an instance of lightening, has nothing on gravity. Slow, steady, gentle, unseen momentum. A castle is the illusion of grains of sand, and cells the person. You are the awareness of. The love of. While you run to love, love runs to you. Run!

Just OMFG OMFG. Sorry sometimes just so excited and always shocked(positive). 

OMFG Like for real. 

Edited January 4, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[erik8lrl]

Keep going, you are making great progress.