Understanding the feminine life purpose

[Dingo]

I'm a 22 year old male, who hasn't had much deep interaction with women for most of my life... for the last couple of years I have been learning more about women, the masculine/feminine dynamic, right/left brain hemisphere, spending more time with women, developing my own authenticity and in the past half a year going through a lot of emotional growth as well. I have also been taking the life purpose course, which has given me a great sense of orientation in life.

I'm currently re-reading Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, where there are descriptions of rules to follow, if one wants to achieve great things in life... there are also many examples from the real life, which though include mostly stories of men. There are many mentions of how these successful men almost always had a loving woman next to them and one of the chapters is even dedicated to sexual transmutation, which in simple terms from my understanding means translating sexual energy into a powerful motivator for achieving great things in life.

Here is where my curiosity starts... as women generally embody more feminine qualities and their psychology also works a bit differently, what kind of values would they put forth through their life purpose journey...?
As I understand it, feminity is more about empathy, spontaneity/chaos, intuition, nurturing and perhaps more artistic. I do respect women and cheer for those few, who go independent, but don't most women find life satisfaction in accompanying and supporting a strong and determined man (one on the hero's journey, let's say)? Also I don't think of this feminine support as something weaker or less important, I can actually see it very meaningful to a healthy-functioning society.

Anyone with understanding of femininity with connection to life purpose, who would like to shed some light for me?  

PS: I've posted this in the Dating,R,S section instead of the Life Purpose, coz this is for the development of my understanding of women and relationship dynamics.

[mandyjw]

Interesting topic. Think and Grow Rich was written in 1937, at that time opportunities for women to take the lead or go it on their own in business were pretty much non-existent. The only way to mask and also fulfill your ambition would be to find a man to support or be the face of your endeavors.

Still works today. In my opinion women are more accepting of others taking the credit if need be, but no less ambitious about making real change for the better. 

[Surfingthewave]

8 hours ago, Dingo said:

 don't most women find life satisfaction in accompanying and supporting a strong and determined man 

No, no and no. 

Stop reading out of date books which have nothing to do with sex and relationships. 

You need some serious life lessons about femininity (as a lot of men do on this forum) and the only way to do this from women themselves! Go and meet some women, talk to them, read some modern books on feminism and go from there. You have  very bizarre opinions on women and independence, is this a cultural thing or a family thing? You need some good female role models. Keep asking questions but let go of all your assumptions because my dear seeker, as a woman I'm telling you these assumptions are wrong. 

[Spiral]

Femininity/masculinity is a silly paradigm. 

Here is the definition of masculinely: qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men. It’s a circular description. 

Sure guys and girls have biological differences but in the end we want the same thing, we just sometimes go about it in different ways.

 

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by Spiral

[Dingo]

@Vxvxen  Thanks for bringing that female practical perspective. I could imagine such example of life purpose to give birth and maintain a loving family, but this seems quite stereotypical and close to culturally defined gender roles. Perhaps though there is some truth to it...

@Surfingthewave  I appreciate the honesty, but you haven't really given me a better idea. As I have already said, I have been trying to spend more time with women over the past couple of years, so that I develop deeper understanding.
This is though my first attempt at understanding the combination of life purpose and femininity... I don't hold those opinions or ideas very lightly, like thought experiments, coz I know I'm not yet there with my understanding, so there is no need to deny me so strictly. I came here to understand and not fight.
What if I told you, that I have grown up in family with not so well functioning parental relationship, which has put me years backwards, but I don't want to continue this chain of suffering? Could you see a scenario, where it is logical to you, that I come with such wrong ideas?
Thanks for pointing out some types of sources, that could help me figure this out

@Spiral  yeah the distiction is like a model and it has its flaws, but don't you think it can get a person closer to truth? If you just look at the history and current culture, you will find clear differences in the types of social functions most men and most women choose to fulfill. Of course there are more factors to that (gender roles or unequality for examples)...
Leo has used the masculine vs. feminine duality in several videos and it has helped me getting deeper understanding of the problem (in the case of Love, for example)

 

[Dingo]

Basically I'm asking... How does a healthy interdependent relationship look like with relations to both the man and the woman pursuing their life purposes?

What is the reason of their relationship and what benefits can it bring to them, if their life purposes are different from each other and both of them are mature and independent?

[Spiral]

@Dingo They enjoy each other’s company and the intimacy the relationship offers. 

[DrewNows]

1 hour ago, Dingo said:

Basically I'm asking... How does a healthy interdependent relationship look like with relations to both the man and the woman pursuing their life purposes?

What is the reason of their relationship and what benefits can it bring to them, if their life purposes are different from each other and both of them are mature and independent?

What is your answer to this? I think you know the answers to these questions 

[Matt23]

An example of a life purpose from a male with more characteristically feminine traits or values

Seems to me like it may be more about what dominant sexual "force", or which dominant set of values, you are (masculine or feminine).  I'm a guy, but I'd say I value and exhibit more feminine qualities or things most of the time.  I'd say the most meaningful thing for me is Togetherness.  Relationships, interactions, and community are very important for me and working in a group setting.  So far, as far as Life Purpose, I'm wanting to create some sort of ashram or community or research institute (or a combination) where the focus is on bringing people together and creating those long-lasting and meaningful connections between people.  

Also helping people become enlightened would be a major part of that I think.

 

[remember]

why do so many women have such a toxic interpretation about what their lifepurpose is? when i read some things i could throw up knowing that it is all indoctrination. one of the lifepurposes a woman should have is overcoming this nurture sacrifice shit.

troyanising yourself and other women is not nurture sacrifice, it`s intoxicating.

Edited December 29, 2019 by remember

[Leo Gura]

There is a book about the female hero's journey. But I forget the name.

[remember]

@Emerald

emerald mentioned a heroins journey. i did not buy the book, so i don`t know.

there are some really good books about reconnecting with the feminine aspects in ourselves beyond blue. not going back at least into healthy purple makes women disconnected from their inner power. clarissa pinkola estes for example is a south american story teller one of the bridge builders to the feminine. nurturing and caring are just two aspects of strong women leaders. i don`t really see the helpless shadow of a man as a female life purpose.

Edited December 29, 2019 by remember

[mandyjw]

27 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There is a book about the female hero's journey. But I forget the name.

The Heroine's Journey https://maureenmurdock.com/?page_id=366

Integration is supposed to be the ultimate purpose of enlightenment, The Hero's Journey or The Heroine's Journey. People just start from different points. 

"The final stage of The Heroine’s Journey is the Sacred Marriage of the Masculine and Feminine, the hieros gamos. A woman remembers her true nature and accepts herself as she is, integrating both aspects of her nature. It is a moment of recognition, a kind of remembering of that which somewhere at the bottom she has always known. The current problems are not solved, the conflicts remain, but one’s suffering, as long as she does not evade it, will lead to a new life. In developing a new feminine consciousness, she has to have an equally strong masculine consciousness to get her voice out into the world. The union of masculine and feminine involves recognizing wounds, blessing them, and letting them go.

The heroine must become a spiritual warrior. This demands that she learn the delicate art of balance and have the patience for the slow, subtle integration of the feminine and masculine aspects of her nature. She first hungers to lose her feminine self and merge with the masculine, and once she has done this, she begins to realize this is neither the answer nor the objective. She must not discard nor give up what she has learned throughout her heroic quest, but view her hard-earned skills and successes not so much as the goal but as one part of the entire journey. This focus on integration and the resulting awareness of interdependence is necessary for each of us at this time as we work together to preserve the health and balance of life on earth (Murdock, 1990, p.11).

In the Navaho Creation Story Changing Woman speaks to her consort the Sun:

“Remember, as different as we are, you and I, we are of one spirit. As dissimilar as we are, you and I, we are of equal worth. As unlike as you and I are, there must always be solidarity between the two of us. Unlike each other as you and I are, there can be no harmony in the universe as long as there is no harmony between us” (Zolbrod,1984, p. 275)."

 

Edited December 29, 2019 by mandyjw

[remember]

@mandyjw thank you - i like the last quote...it speaks to me

[mandyjw]

@remember  I guess my name isn't Mandy for nothin'. 

It's funny how "the bride of Christ", romantic, marriage and sexual metaphors in various religions over the ages, and when you get right down to it attraction and sex ITSELF is just one big metaphor for enlightenment, for the mindfuck that takes place within your own psyche. 

[remember]

39 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@remember  I guess my name isn't Mandy for nothin'. 

It's funny how "the bride of Christ", romantic, marriage and sexual metaphors in various religions over the ages, and when you get right down to it attraction and sex ITSELF is just one big metaphor for enlightenment, for the mindfuck that takes place within your own psyche. 

it`s just one part of enlightenment, for women it can not be full enlightenment until you have rediscovered that you are different and whole all by yourself and able to be independent. that`s maybe why i would recommend to also read other books which are not so much about relationships or male/female but more the yin yang aspects within you and more reconnecting women to their inner power which is equally formless. i really have a problem with always defining myself through the male aspect, women are life givers why do we need to be seed givers?

although sexuality is part of the road to enlightenment - i guess - jesus did not talk about the mindfuck i guess

Edited December 29, 2019 by remember

[mandyjw]

@remember I think we're like trees. Trees don't define themselves, they bear both the fruit and the seeds within the fruit. Independence is a complete fiction within duality, but as One you are ultimately independent by nature as you are the whole. 

Independence is only a freeing revelation to you if you believed you were dependent, dependence is only a freeing revelation to you if you believed you were independent. Enlightenment is only realizing the truth of that which we would not accept about ourselves. 

[mandyjw]

33 minutes ago, remember said:

although sexuality is part of the road to enlightenment - i guess - jesus did not talk about the mindfuck i guess

Well, that depends on how loosely you define Jesus.  Was Mary Magdalene literally a whore or only metaphorically?                         

[remember]

11 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@remember I think we're like trees. Trees don't define themselves, they bear both the fruit and the seeds within the fruit. Independence is a complete fiction within duality, but as One you are ultimately independent by nature as you are the whole. 

Independence is only a freeing revelation to you if you believed you were dependent, dependence is only a freeing revelation to you if you believed you were independent. Enlightenment is only realizing the truth of that which we would not accept about ourselves. 

yes and what makes your understanding different than the one of a male? most men don`t care if independence is a fiction, most of the time at least. of course interdependence exists but it does not exist naturally under preset conditions. when you start into a new relationship for example the conditions for the relationship are set up like a contract and instead of doing that due to some roll models you can do it under both of your conditions. it`s also possible to change the conditions after a while if the situation changes - of course usually that won`t happen without some rough situations.

[remember]

6 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Well, that depends on how loosely you define Jesus.  Was Mary Magdalene literally a whore or only metaphorically?                         

better ask yourself who made her a whore.... i think jesus talked about communion... question is where did he get that from?

Edited December 29, 2019 by remember