Will Dark Night cycles keep come even after you solved all your psychological issues?

[Nivsch]

During the last 2 months I watched all actualized.org videos about neurosis. Many many videos.

I scanned myself from my early childhood year after year, found the roles I play, the events I had and the rigid decisions I made.

I was ready to let go of all of them and showed them a green light like "you can go now. i dont need you". and I really felt it and mentioned it deeply. no problem at all to release them.

After that, the following 2 months were very good and I felt like I sort of won my OCD and won most of my anxiety.

But during the last week, my ocd and my intrusive thoughts came back (for example: Irrational fears that stuck in my mind like a scratched disk) without any negative external new events in my life.

I dont know if i really addressed all of my psychological root issues and all my shadows (maybe its a little pretentous to think that) but at least that what I feel. or something close enough to it.

Note that I work on myself  - mindfulness/yoga/self-love - every day.

I have couple of questions and I will appreciate every attempt to address those.

1. OCD and anxiety that came back, mean, necesserily, that i have more layers (of roles, and decisions during life) that I still have not found?

2. Say, hypothetically, that I DID really solve all my psychological root problems and shadows - Dark Night cycles are supposed to not coming back again any more?

3. How much neurosis-creating layers - of roles, decisions, childhood vows - the average 30+ year old person has in sum (I'm 32)?

Just to mention that the Dark Night periods I have are not extreme (not at all the extreme way it written in Daniel M. Ingram's book), and I function and I do stuff, but they are still very difficult emotionally and interrupt significantly the quality of life.

Thank you

Edited December 26, 2019 by Nivsch

[Commodent]

Ultimately, there are no problems. What you're describing is simply a natural consequence of change. And unless you plan on staying fixed as a person for the rest of your life, these kinds of ego backlashes will keep happening. 

Of course, you will become better at handling it and the process will become a lot more joyful, but it won't stop happening.

Personally I think healing is a lifelong journey, and I'm not really aware of anyone who are "fully healed". You will likely keep discovering new things about your past, painful stuff that shaped you and the way you perceive things. But by becoming aware of it and grieving it out of your system, you will be freed. So it's not very complicated work. Reconnect to the authentic experience and see the validity of your pain. No need intellectualizing.

[Gladius]

With similar profile, I'm 34 and this year I made huge changes changes for the better, but from time to time I fall back into negative thinking loops. As long as you're as aware as it looks like, it's going to be fine. Keep it up.

[Matt8800]

@Nivsch Speaking from experience, once one is purified of attachments and aversions by detaching and letting go (which is another way of saying one solved their psychological issues), the dark night is over.

Edited December 26, 2019 by Matt8800

[Nivsch]

1 hour ago, Matt8800 said:

@Nivsch Speaking from experience, once one is purified of attachments and aversions by detaching and letting go (which is another way of saying one solved their psychological issues), the dark night is over.

Do you mean that if I will practice the "Let go" method on positive desires, it will make also the negative phases to be weaker?

[Nivsch]

@Commodent by 'staying fixed' you mean without any change/developing?

How do I make the backlushes be more joyful?

And thank you very much. your answer makes sense and helped a lot!

Edited December 26, 2019 by Nivsch

[Eph75]

Getting fucked up takes many years, unfucking yourself takes time, it is not just a decision away. It requires constant disciplin and intent, there will be relapses, over time they will decrease, just keep at it, never fall back into unconsciousness in regards to when this happens and what actions you take. Eventually it stops, at least if you have understood the underlying mechanics, otherwise you are likely to regress when under pressure. 

It sounds like you are expecting to have yourself all figured out. It is a life long journey. What you can tweak is yourself and how you relate to whatever happens. 

As Bukowski wrote, "what matters most is how well you walk through the fire".

Edited December 26, 2019 by Eph75

[Commodent]

14 hours ago, Nivsch said:

@Commodent by 'staying fixed' you mean without any change/developing?

How do I make the backlushes be more joyful?

And thank you very much. your answer makes sense and helped a lot!

By staying fixed I mean not changing, yes. 

You can make them more joyful by:

• Focusing on a positive vision that brings you joy. The vision you have for bringing this change. 
• Simply being aware of it helps a lot.
• Talk to the resisting parts of you with compassion (which itself might cause a backlash if you're not used to it). Work with them and not fight with them.

But now that I think about it, I have certainly experienced lots of change where I did not experience any form of ego backlash. Through grieving and dealing with emotional blockages, so much change simply happens organically. And the deepest change is never really planned. The best you can do is really just to lay the foundation for it. I sometimes wonder if there's really any point trying to make a change, because the most prominent and joyful growth has almost always happened when I was not asking for it.  When I just relaxed and let my foot off the pedal. And I did not grow in the direction I had expected either. So yeah, I think any change should definitely be rooted in what brings you joy. Focus on the joyful things you want more of in life, and change will come joyfully and naturally. Of course, it might take some work getting there, but it will be firmly grounded in joy which makes you so much more likely to succeed. Sorry for the rambling, I can clarify if you have any questions.

Also, I'm pretty sure my dad has OCD, and I definitely have tendencies towards it myself. You might know this already, but OCD is essentially fear that something bad is going to happen, same with anxiety. And what's the opposite of fear? Faith. So yeah, if you you want to break out of that worrying state of mind you have to take a leap of faith and trust that things are going to work out in the end. That you have everything you need. The thing you're doing now? Stop doing that, you have all the answers you need. What will happen when you stop? You don't know. Take the leap.

[mandyjw]

We don't get to let go of the things we don't want. There is no you to let go of them. Hint, the OCD and fears is deepest unignorable guidance. It so desperately wants you to be free, (because it is your higher self knowing what you want most), it makes you too uncomfortable to settle for less.  What is letting go in a world of love where every challenge and bad experience is a clarifying, character defining, motivating moment to make you go in the direction you must go? You are not a character in a story, you play a character, but you are the author. The author puts challenges and limitations in front of the character she created out of love. When they are loved as part of the story, there is no need to let go, to sort through your emmories and chose the ones you like and the one's you do not. It is the death of the limited character who judges between good and bad, wanted and unwanted. He then wakes up to see that what he wants is the entirety, and the limitations and scars in his backstory. Then he is free to consciously dream and guide his story as both author and character. 

By the way, the only way you can be conscious of a dark night at all is because you are the light. 

[Matt8800]

17 hours ago, Nivsch said:

Do you mean that if I will practice the "Let go" method on positive desires, it will make also the negative phases to be weaker?

@Nivsch It means you let go of positive desires and just let the negative phases be as they are. Totally accept them also. Acceptance takes their power away.