Ive figured out my problem

[Mindfang413]

I cannot feel or see significance of love. Which is basically the only thing that makes anything matter. Its what makes us, US or its what makes god, GOD. I have a really bad thing happening where i dont care about it anymore. I dont care about living, about love. The only way to see the significance in it is to feel it but when i look at it from a logical thinking standpoint, it just doesnt make sense. I dont even care that im "living" and "feel" things. I suffer yet i honestly just dont care i do anymore. Its so hard to see the significance in anything that is feeling. I feel like im the void. Ive descend into and became a void of unfeeling machinery at this point. I only exist now, im not living. Is this the dark night or something far worse? I honestly think im the only one whos ever thought love and emotions truely mean nothing. I kept getting moments of love returning, feeling good, then immidietly returning to this. Im just a lost cause now, i dont matter now, nothing matters. Nothing will ever return my essence. Im broken and the worst part is, i dont even care. Should i care? Honestly?

[Nahm]

Love is unconditional. Significance is a condition, love is all things and all perspectives, including “significance”, and any possible condition. Every single thought is made of love. Every atom, every molecule, every cell.

The only thing you can’t make with legos, is legos. Love doesn’t make anything matter, Love is what “energy” is, Love is what “matter” is.

Love is what is searching for significance. Love is the significance, as the legos are the (lego) truck.

Love is feeling, and love is felt.

 

The void if the forgetting, is between Love, knowing, consciousness, self aware Being - and ideas of God, and or a separate self.

To ‘close the gap’, or ‘close the void’...inspect beliefs rather than furthering them.

♥️ 

The understanding of the necessity - of forgetting - could be quite helpful. Just an opinion, and an offer if you’d like to explore it. 

(The post has a “why would I (The Infinite One) have done this (human experience)” ring, to me.) 

One sure fire way to “sort this out” (let it go)...is to meditate upon awakening every single morning. When ‘you’ don’t, for whatever reason - believe that narrative of the separate self, or don’t - the important thing is to be aware of it, as simply thoughts. One linear stream of one at a time, thoughts. The story of a character, does not equal a character. A story is a story. Free of the attachment to the thoughts, which seem to weave the story - actual freedom is known, and whatever story you want to live, becomes the experiential living story. The “character” will die, and this will be the first of many deaths. 

[Mindfang413]

@Nahm Thank you Nahm...i appreciate the advice and wisdom. I will try to see this as just thoughts. What youve said helps. I just wish i could feel something. My emotions are so numbed, i just want to feel the significance of everything.

[Nahm]

12 hours ago, Mindfang413 said:

I just wish i could feel something. My emotions are so numbed, i just want to feel the significance of everything.

Thanks. Ok if I ‘pick apart’ your post in a heartfelt attempt to reveal the ‘thorn in your side’ ?

[Mindfang413]

@Nahm yea, go for it. An outside perspective would help.

[Nahm]

16 hours ago, Mindfang413 said:

I just wish i could feel something. My emotions are so numbed, i just want to feel the significance of everything.

@Mindfang413

??

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

The ‘significance of everything’ is this moment now, resistance free, as it is. “It” really is about letting go of the barriers. Some perspectives, we believe more deeply ( “it’s just who I am” ) and it’s hard to notice the perspectives themselves are the barriers ‘covering up’ this now as it is. 

Writing the opposite perspective, and then writing about how you feel about it, is very helpful. Question the opposite view....“Is there some truth here?” It loosens the attachment / identification up & releases some ‘blockages’ / feelings. This brings the ‘barriers’ into the light, so we can feel, understand, & release / process them. 

When old perspectives are let go of, consciousness expands experientially, and consciousness is love. There is often, initially, a fearsome, loss-like, feeling. Purifying (Love)...cleaning out a barrier / perspective. The barrier is being felt upon ‘exiting’. To the extent we identified with a self referential perspective (thought about one’s self), the purification can feel like intense loss. The “identity” “lost” is actually only thought / perspective. Totally normal & natural. Daily meditation shines here. Specifically the practice of consciously breathing from the stomach, and moving awareness (love) through the body, loosening & clearing blockages / contractions (tension). 

Looking for any truth in the opposite perspective can be really effective...

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

I cannot feel or see significance of love.

I can feel and see the significance of love.......(then write about how you feel, whatever comes up, just write about the feeling)

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

I have a really bad thing happening where i dont care about it anymore.

I have a really good thing happening, where I do care about love........

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

The only way to see the significance in it is to feel it but when i look at it from a logical thinking standpoint, it just doesnt make sense

There are many ways to see the significance in love, one way is to visually see what’s on my mind, rather than thinking logically about it, it doesn’t need to make logical ‘sense’.........

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

I dont even care that im "living" and "feel" things.

I do care that I’m living and feeling....

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

I suffer yet i honestly just dont care if I do anymore.

 Enough suffering, I do care. 

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

Its so hard to see the significance in anything that is feeling.

It’s easy to see the significance in anything that is feeling.....I don’t have a reference or experience at all of non-feeling. That’s at least somewhat significant. 

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

Ive descend into and became a void of unfeeling machinery at this point.

I’m ascending and realizing I haven’t been feeling.

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

I kept getting moments of love returning, feeling good, then immidietly returning to this.

 I have seen love is the basis of me, and thinking returns / gets too much attention, and the subtle being is covered. 

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

Im just a lost cause now, i dont matter now, nothing matters. Nothing will ever return my essence.

I’m realizing overthinking is a lost cause, feeling matters. Love is my true essence, the Present to unwrap. 

On 12/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, Mindfang413 said:

Im broken and the worst part is, i dont even care. Should i care? Honestly?

I can see that I care, as this feels “broken”. I do care, honestly.