Porn is essentially pointless.

[CultivateLove]

Oh my God. I applaud the people who have the patience to keep on trying to convince this guy who's never had sex that having good sex with another human being is a skill and not purely instinctual like with dogs. I don't have that type of patience. 

My message is short and simple - Hey, dude, you're embarrassing yourself. You're like a walking embodiment of the dunning-kruger effect. Go out and have sex (if you can in the first place) and I promise you, you will realize just how full of sh*t you are. These are my only words on this subject. 

Namaste. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

On 24.12.2019 at 11:40 PM, Shin said:

Curing this addiction that is considered normal (fapping), was the second best thing I ever did ?

What was the first one?

[Shin]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

What was the first one?

Curing the addiction of excessively (neurotic) thinking that is considered normal.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Shin

Same here, what was your "medicine"?

I'm already doing a lot of stuff, but still, my mind is tricky as hell. 

[Shin]

19 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Shin

Same here, what was your "medicine"?

I'm already doing a lot of stuff, but still, my mind is tricky as hell. 

Read the Power of Now, he basically say what every other teacher says though, but it's better explained.

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, CultivateLove said:

Oh my God. I applaud the people who have the patience to keep on trying to convince this guy who's never had sex that having good sex with another human being is a skill and not purely instinctual like with dogs. I don't have that type of patience. 

My message is short and simple - Hey, dude, you're embarrassing yourself. You're like a walking embodiment of the dunning-kruger effect. Go out and have sex (if you can in the first place) and I promise you, you will realize just how full of sh*t you are. These are my only words on this subject. 

Namaste. 

If you call yourself not having any patience and don't have any to offer besides resorting to name calling than do me a favor, stay out off this conversation. This is for people that is trying to know.

Please don't comment anymore.

[the-philogynist]

15 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

You are using the term “creative” as a euphemism for “skill”. One can be creative and lack skills. An novice artist that is creative still needs to develop skills to be a skilled artist. There are many styles, mediums, utensils, lighting, contrast, color, mood, etc. Similarly, a person can be creative during sex and unskilled. There are things one learns over time.

I think you are putting way too much emphasis on “skills vs. no skills”. Technical skills are just one component. There are other components, like you say, creativity. As well, I would say something like being genuine and caring is more of a character trait than a skill. For some women, feeling a close connection and comfortable with each other are more important than technical skills. A guy could have great skills, yet if he finishes and then rolls over and starts snoring without caring about her organism and fulfillment, his skills are insufficient. 

Ok, let me do this:

describe the so called 'skills' that can be done in natural sexual intercourse?

[Forestluv]

2 hours ago, the-philogynist said:

Ok, let me do this:

describe the so called 'skills' that can be done in natural sexual intercourse?

You are missing the point. I have already mentioned skills, yet you are contracted within in particular view and lack experience. Thus, you keep dismissing everything to maintain your view. You are immersed in an illusion that you have it all figured out and no one here can penetrate that illusion. Only you can step out of it, yet you are not willing to do so. Perhaps you will be in the future, perhaps not. 

One skill of sexual intercourse with her in cowgirl would be how to position the pelvis to increase penile contact to the upper portion of the vaginal, while also maintaining intermittent contact with the clitoris. Yet this requires an extra stiff erection and a particular motion. One needs to know how much angle of leverage and distance is possible without popping out. As well, one needs to know how to position her pelvis. And the right amount of clitoral pressure via pelvis and how to supplement with fingers. 

This isn’t just about confidence or creativity. Like I said, a very confident, creative novice artist still has to learn skills.

Of course this isn’t something that a person thinks and analyzes during sex. It is learned over time and becomes innate. 

As well, such skills are just one component of sex. There are other important components like chemistry and emotional connection. Two people with a deep emotional connection might not be scoring technical “10s”, yet have a deeply meaningful and satisfying sexual experience together.  On the flip side, I’ve been with a couple gals that were highly skilled, yet there wasn’t chemistry and emotional connection. We were just going through the motions and there was a hollow feeling to it (although they taught me a few things that come in handy). 

 

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, Serotoninluv said:

You are missing the point. I have already mentioned skills, yet you are contracted within in particular view and lack experience. Thus, you keep dismissing everything to maintain your view. You are immersed in an illusion that you have it all figured out and no one here can penetrate that illusion. Only you can step out of it, yet you are not willing to do so. Perhaps you will be in the future, perhaps not. 

One skill of sexual intercourse with her in cowgirl would be how to position the pelvis to increase penile contact to the upper portion of the vaginal, while also maintaining intermittent contact with the clitoris. Yet this requires an extra stiff erection and a particular motion. One needs to know how much angle of leverage and distance is possible without popping out. As well, one needs to know how to position her pelvis. And the right amount of clitoral pressure via pelvis and how to supplement with fingers. 

This isn’t just about confidence or creativity. Like I said, a very confident, creative novice artist still has to learn skills.

Of course this isn’t something that a person thinks and analyzes during sex. It is learned over time and becomes innate. 

As well, such skills are just one component of sex. There are other important comments like chemistry and emotional connection. Two people with a deep emotional connection might not be scoring technical “10s”, yet have a deeply meaningful and satisfying sexual experience together. You are placing way too much emphasis on a “skill vs no skill” creation in your mind. 

You said that:

"One skill of sexual intercourse with her in cowgirl would be how to position the pelvis to increase penile contact to the upper portion of the vaginal, while also maintaining intermittent contact with the clitoris. Yet this requires an extra stiff erection and a particular motion. One needs to know how much angle of leverage and distance is possible without popping out. As well, one needs to know how to position her pelvis. And the right amount of clitoral pressure via pelvis and how to supplement with fingers". 

Serotoninluv, you have to understand all of those are not 'skills', those are 'creative moves' that yes, can make the sex more exciting. I don't need anyone to tell me to do those minute movements, me and my female can, by being confident and creative 'learn' those move together.

Cowgirl is the usual name of the position. But guess what, what if I personally want to call it something else? What if I want to call it say: jump ride or twerk ride or booty bounce?What about reverse cowgirl were the woman is facing away from you, what about 'side cowgirl' were she's on the side riding you? My point in saying all of these is that it is not 'skills' that's going on here. These are creative moves / movements that the couple by being confident and creative will know how to do on their own.

Let me hear you're reply.

[Consilience]

?

[Forestluv]

@the-philogynist You’re still not getting it. I’m NOT saying creativity isn’t an asset. I’m saying there is distinction between creativity and skill. A novice artist with lots of creativity can lack skills and need skill development. However, the artist’s creativity is super awesome. 

Similarly, creativity during sex is wonderful. I am not disagreeing you. You have repeatedly said all you need is confidence and creativity during sex. The vibe I’m getting is that there is an underlying feeling of insecurity of not being good enough in bed. Nearly all men experience this. Having confidence is great, yet confidence does compensate for lack of experience and skill development. By denying the existence of sexual skills, one can reduce the amount of personal anxiety. “I have no experience with sex, yet there are no skills needed in sex, so I’m ok”. This is fine to reduce anxiety and you may find a compatible woman that wants the same type of sex as you. I’ve had sex with inexperienced unskilled women as well as experienced skilled women. There is absolutely a difference. If your first sexual encounter was with an experienced woman, she will know that you are inexperienced and lack certain skills. Depending in the woman, you could still have a great sex session. Some women are turned on by teaching inexperienced men, other women would be disappointed, other women care more about a genuine emotional connection. Yet I guarantee you that a sexually experienced woman will now that you lack experience and certain skills. There is no way to fake your way through this with “confidence” and “creativity”. You wouldn’t be able to fake that you are a guy like in the porn videos. She will see / feel right through this and she would know. 

Yet guys tend to over-emphasize experience and skill - which causes anxiety. Being genuine, having emotional connection and caring about her pleasure is super important with many women. I’ve had sexual encounters in which we were both kinda fumbling around. Yet we were connected and exploring together. We weren’t trying to fake confidence like we were experienced. We were genuine, explored and practiced with each other. It was beautiful. It’s like creating art together. Two people don’t need to be skilled artists to have a wonderful time creating art together. 

[Forestluv]

32 minutes ago, the-philogynist said:

I don't need anyone to tell me to do those minute movements, me and my female can, by being confident and creative 'learn' those move together.

Yes, that learning is can also be calked skill development. An experienced person lacks a move and learns a move during sex. He has now learned a new skill. 

Another analogy would be rolling a kayak in open water. It’s great to read the theory if the move, yet the only way to learn the move, it to get in a kayak, flip over under water and do the move until you roll back over. There is a specific way to position and move the hips and one needs to actually so it to learn it and develop that skill. 

[CultivateLove]

@Serotoninluv What drives you? What is it that makes you so persistent in helping like this?

And how can you be sure that you're not just being trolled? 

[the-philogynist]

2 hours ago, Consilience said:

?

What's so funny?

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, CultivateLove said:

@Serotoninluv What drives you? What is it that makes you so persistent in helping like this?

And how can you be sure that you're not just being trolled? 

Hey cultivateLove.

I thought you said you didn't have any patience? 

So why are you still on this topic if you so much think that I'm a troll?

You have no idea.

[Forestluv]

This thread has run its course.