Porn is essentially pointless.

[Forestluv]

3 minutes ago, the-philogynist said:

Are they human sexual connections?

Because that's what we're talking about.

Of course. 

[the-philogynist]

2 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Of course. 

Than most of the times it is about confidence and creativity.

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, the-philogynist said:

Than most of the times it is about confidence and creativity.

That’s not been my experience. Confidence and creativity can be assets or liabilities, depending upon on context. 

And there are other important features as well. 
 

[the-philogynist]

16 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

That’s not been my experience. Confidence and creativity can be assets or liabilities, depending upon on context. 

And there are other important features as well. 
 

Like what?

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, the-philogynist said:

Like what?

It’s not something that can be figured out through thinking. It’s learned through experiencing a romantic/sexual relationship with another. 

[Dlavjr]

On 12/24/2019 at 6:54 PM, the-philogynist said:

It's like a person that always got an A+ on their training but hasn't actually gone to the field yet.

This is a terrible analogy my friend. You can learn everything by the book about an entire field of work and then go out and do it and find that you suck. You can learn all the theory about an instrument but you still have to practice it. When you have sex, chances are, you're gonna be garbage. Your confidence is commendable, I'll give you that, that might get you places, but as far as technique goes you're likely gonna be the guy that gloats about having had sex but only lasted 3 minutes and just about board the girl to death. You're getting far too aggressive about this and you're putting up a wall between yourself and the rest of the people in this thread. Anybody can have sex, sure, but it takes skill to be good at it. More than just physical skill as well. You can even be an animal in bed as far as knowing the right movements and motions and pleasure spots and still ruin a woman's mood by saying something stupid that turns her off. If you think sex is just as simple as "doing it", then you don't understand a woman's body at all. This is the mindset that pornography puts men in. 

You're asking what skills need to be developed to have sex; you need to know about all the sensitive areas, how to pace sex properly so that there's build up, how to tease. There's a whole rhythm to sex that needs to be developed. There are even a number of things outside of physical sex that go into it. You have to have connection, build up, you gotta know how to playfully set a mood, get a woman emotionally invested and make her feel comfortable. The fact that your argument is "it's not taught anywhere" is completely ridiculous. Sex is still too taboo to be able to be publicly taught that way, though there's plenty of information online, however that's still not gonna get you far until you've actually practiced. What do you consider to be a "skill"? Sex is probably one of the toughest skills to develop, it's like any other form of expression. Painting, playing an instrument, sex, pottery, etc all require a well developed combination of technique, feeling, and knowledge. Sex isn't something you learn in a classroom and it's not something you can just pick up and do. If it was, you probably wouldn't be here making this thread ?. 

Also, people masturbate while in a relationship for a variety of reasons. Masturbation and porn is addictive, for one. Two, it's a different sensation, and quite frankly a nice change up every now and then. And three, you and your significant other aren't always gonna be horny at the same time, so if you wanna bust one out, you're gonna have to either settle for jerking off or suck it up and do nothing. 

Sex, like most things, is wayyyy more complex than it seems on surface level. People being poorly educated on good sex/proper intimacy and ignorant about what makes it pleasurable are part of the reason why there's a huge problem with cheating in relationships in today's culture.

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, Dlavjr said:

This is a terrible analogy my friend. You can learn everything by the book about an entire field of work and then go out and do it and find that you suck. You can learn all the theory about an instrument but you still have to practice it. When you have sex, chances are, you're gonna be garbage. Your confidence is commendable, I'll give you that, that might get you places, but as far as technique goes you're likely gonna be the guy that gloats about having had sex but only lasted 3 minutes and just about board the girl to death. You're getting far too aggressive about this and you're putting up a wall between yourself and the rest of the people in this thread. Anybody can have sex, sure, but it takes skill to be good at it. More than just physical skill as well. You can even be an animal in bed as far as knowing the right movements and motions and pleasure spots and still ruin a woman's mood by saying something stupid that turns her off. If you think sex is just as simple as "doing it", then you don't understand a woman's body at all. This is the mindset that pornography puts men in. 

You're asking what skills need to be developed to have sex; you need to know about all the sensitive areas, how to pace sex properly so that there's build up, how to tease. There's a whole rhythm to sex that needs to be developed. There are even a number of things outside of physical sex that go into it. You have to have connection, build up, you gotta know how to playfully set a mood, get a woman emotionally invested and make her feel comfortable. The fact that your argument is "it's not taught anywhere" is completely ridiculous. Sex is still too taboo to be able to be publicly taught that way, though there's plenty of information online, however that's still not gonna get you far until you've actually practiced. What do you consider to be a "skill"? Sex is probably one of the toughest skills to develop, it's like any other form of expression. Painting, playing an instrument, sex, pottery, etc all require a well developed combination of technique, feeling, and knowledge. Sex isn't something you learn in a classroom and it's not something you can just pick up and do. If it was, you probably wouldn't be here making this thread ?. 

Also, people masturbate while in a relationship for a variety of reasons. Masturbation and porn is addictive, for one. Two, it's a different sensation, and quite frankly a nice change up every now and then. And three, you and your significant other aren't always gonna be horny at the same time, so if you wanna bust one out, you're gonna have to either settle for jerking off or suck it up and do nothing. 

Sex, like most things, is wayyyy more complex than it seems on surface level. People being poorly educated on good sex/proper intimacy and ignorant about what makes it pleasurable are part of the reason why there's a huge problem with cheating in relationships in today's culture.

There you go.

Still trying to sell that sex is a 'skill'.

Why don't society understand?

Sex copulation is not a skill. If anything what you just described is creativity.

Like I've said before, how much do you ever want to bet that when I get married and have sex that it won't be as complex as you all are trying to sell it to be.

And I would confirm on that day that you guys was living in world of make believe and cliches.

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, modmyth said:

@Shin I've heard some guys say that they prefer porn to sex, in the case that sometimes they're tired and they just want to get off because they need a physical release. And in many cases, guys do most of the physical work, in some positions much more than others. I get that.

I've also heard other guys say they prefer porn because of pickiness, etc.

Here's a solution.

Why don't they just get women of their own and just do like they seen in the porn film?

[Shin]

5 hours ago, the-philogynist said:

Here's a solution.

Why don't they just get women of their own and just do like they seen in the porn film?

They do that, and it feels like the women is just a sex toys, not a human being.

And porn is not real sex anyway, it's staged, and makes you think you will like certain things it tells you to like, when in reality it disgusts you

[Dlavjr]

5 hours ago, the-philogynist said:

There you go.

Still trying to sell that sex is a 'skill'.

Why don't society understand?

Sex copulation is not a skill. If anything what you just described is creativity.

Like I've said before, how much do you ever want to bet that when I get married and have sex that it won't be as complex as you all are trying to sell it to be.

And I would confirm on that day that you guys was living in world of make believe and cliches.

See, it's this kind of stubborn ignorance that makes it impossible to have a discussion with some people. You ask a question, you get answers, you don't like them, and you reject them and tell everybody that you're right and everybody else is wrong. This thread is entirely aimless, you have a lot of progress to make with opening your mind. Have fun with your vanilla sex for the sake of reproduction and literally nothing else. I'm sure you'll enjoy it far more than any girl you're with will. 

[JunkyJu]

19 hours ago, the-philogynist said:

See, now I see what the problem truly is. You and society is giving porn way to much credit.

It's a myth that female porn stars look like super models. A lot of them look like your average women and a good number of them in my opinion is actually ugly in the face. It's some actual women that are out here that's more hot and sexy than any porn star you can find.

It boggles my mind how much it doesn't make sense that men would choose porn over there already girlfriend or wife. If it's like that, why not just get women that does the same thing the porn stars do? 

Another problem with this issue I've noticed is that people don't have sexual confidence and they have a defeating attitude. We need to be more confident about our sexuality. 

Once we have confidence we will be more creative in sex and we can stop looking at other people having sex on camera because we're doing it better than what they are.

 

Well that’s your personal taste regarding pornstars.  To each their own.

And you ask why jerk off to porn instead of finding the same girl in real life?  Pretty simple. No work is involved.  Porn is just a click away.  Besides, if he found a woman he would eventually get sick of her and go back to porn or find a new woman.  It’s not so much the person or pornstar that’s the problem.  It’s the constant search for new and exciting stimulus.  This is how guys end up going from vanilla porn to bestiality.

[the-philogynist]

9 hours ago, Shin said:

They do that, and it feels like the women is just a sex toys, not a human being.

And porn is not real sex anyway, it's staged, and makes you think you will like certain things it tells you to like, when in reality it disgusts you

Of course porn is real sex. They are performing intercourse just on camera. 

I just depends of what kind of porn.

[the-philogynist]

9 hours ago, Dlavjr said:

See, it's this kind of stubborn ignorance that makes it impossible to have a discussion with some people. You ask a question, you get answers, you don't like them, and you reject them and tell everybody that you're right and everybody else is wrong. This thread is entirely aimless, you have a lot of progress to make with opening your mind. Have fun with your vanilla sex for the sake of reproduction and literally nothing else. I'm sure you'll enjoy it far more than any girl you're with will. 

Oh believe me, I know exactly what you all are talking about and you're just flat out wrong. It's something that society is trying to push and I'm not buying it.

How in the world can you say what my sexual relationship is going to be? 

I going to have a fantastic sexual relationship with my wife, so you can save the cliches for someone that buys your nonsense.

 

 

 

[Consilience]

This thread is teaching me so much about how paradigm lock ?

[the-philogynist]

20 minutes ago, JunkyJu said:

Well that’s your personal taste regarding pornstars.  To each their own.

And you ask why jerk off to porn instead of finding the same girl in real life?  Pretty simple. No work is involved.  Porn is just a click away.  Besides, if he found a woman he would eventually get sick of her and go back to porn or find a new woman.  It’s not so much the person or pornstar that’s the problem.  It’s the constant search for new and exciting stimulus.  This is how guys end up going from vanilla porn to bestiality.

And that's the problem.

People use each other like objects and nothing more which is really bad.

If a human human being calls themselves liking bestiality, then they need some serious help.

[the-philogynist]

13 minutes ago, Consilience said:

This thread is teaching me so much about how paradigm lock ?

I would honestly say that society as a whole has a paradigm lock.

[Consilience]

55 minutes ago, the-philogynist said:

I would honestly say that society as a whole has a paradigm lock.

Of course. There are many paradigm locks within society. Yet this one is on you. You’re trying to assert that a form of physical activity doesn’t have any room for skill improvement when it clearly does while also appealing to no authority other than “because you’re wrong” while ALSO acknowledging you’ve never experienced sex. Its a clusterfuck of a rationality. Yet when people give you analogies that parallel your assertions, you brush them off as being bad analogies. You are paradigm locked over the silliest of topics while also refusing to see your own fallacious reasoning. This lack of clarity, open-mindedness, and self-analysis for your own position is indicative of what society is doing on multiple levels across multiple domains. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve created a great example of paradigm lock for the forum to observe firsthand. You’ve provided a fantastic example of just how stubborn, close-minded and irrational the human ego is when it comes to defending its own position, even when the defense has gapingly obvious holes. I don’t say this to be mean, merely to point out to others (and hopefully yourself) how ridiculous and yet indicative this example is when it comes to other positions within society, much more nuanced and complex topics beyond “this is act takes skill to get better.” If an ego can defend a position like this post in such a  bizzarre way, imagine the lengths an ego would go defending more emotionally charged topics like religion or politics. 

Edited December 26, 2019 by Consilience

[Shin]

This is Mikael all over again

[the-philogynist]

1 hour ago, Consilience said:

Of course. There are many paradigm locks within society. Yet this one is on you. You’re trying to assert that a form of physical activity doesn’t have any room for skill improvement when it clearly does while also appealing to no authority other than “because you’re wrong” while ALSO acknowledging you’ve never experienced sex. Its a clusterfuck of a rationality. Yet when people give you analogies that parallel your assertions, you brush them off as being bad analogies. You are paradigm locked over the silliest of topics while also refusing to see your own fallacious reasoning. This lack of clarity, open-mindedness, and self-analysis for your own position is indicative of what society is doing on multiple levels across multiple domains. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve created a great example of paradigm lock for the forum to observe firsthand. You’ve provided a fantastic example of just how stubborn, close-minded and irrational the human ego is when it comes to defending its own position, even when the defense has gapingly obvious holes. I don’t say this to be mean, merely to point out to others (and hopefully yourself) how ridiculous and yet indicative this example is when it comes to other positions within society, much more nuanced and complex topics beyond “this is act takes skill to get better.” If an ego can defend a position like this post in such a  bizzarre way, imagine the lengths an ego would go defending more emotionally charged topics like religion or politics. 

By you saying the words: "you’re trying to assert that a form of physical activity doesn’t have any room for skill improvement when it clearly does while also appealing to no authority other than “because you’re wrong” while ALSO acknowledging you’ve never experienced sex," your being intellectually deceptive.

You just don't get it do you? This is not about all the negative things that you think I am. Matter of fact I'm one of the most positive and open minded person that you could ever know, so you have no idea.

My God, why are you people all are trying to make sex this so complicated. Like I said I see what's really going on now and it is totally ridiculous.

Why just why are you all keep saying that natural copulating sexual intercourse takes skill? A skill is something that you have to go to a training school to know. We know sex by default, we ALREADY ARE a sex.

My goodness, are you telling me, because I haven't had actual intercourse yet, that I don't know what to sexually do with my penile phallus? Are you serious?

A man already know what to sexually do with his penile phallus just as a woman already know what to sexually do with her vaginal hole and the rest of her "vaginal area". Get this, they can TELL EACH OTHER WHAT TO DO during sexual intercourse.

You know what, maybe 'skill' is just the wrong word. Maybe the accurate and correct word is 'creativity'. And if creativity is what you're really saying to have the best sexual intercourse then I do agree with you, along with sexual confidence.

 

Edited December 26, 2019 by the-philogynist

[Eph75]

The dogma.. What if.. just what if you have got this wrong. Stay with that thought. Explore the possibility. There you find the opportunity for growth. 

Edited December 26, 2019 by Eph75