Skills, Talents, Interests Conflicting And Not In Alignment With Meaningful Impact

[yahoo]

Hi, I would like to introduce myself to this forum and get some outside perspective on my situation

My story:

I'm 26 year old now and have been following Leos videos from the very beginning and other self-help material from Steve Pavlina, Tony Robbins and other guys since 19 years old, so I know know the theoretical concepts of personal development quite well, but practical implementation is another story when it comes to career development and life purpose.

I will start off by listing my top values/themes in life.

Travel/Adventure 
Health/fit body
Freedom/Independence/ Self relience
Passion/Enthusiasm
Progress/Growth
Playfulness/Fun
Mastery/Skill
Loyalty/Trust/Commitment
Creative autonomy

My hobbies are mostly related to my greatest talent - kinesthetic intelligence - I love to move my body, I love to practice and see progress in my skills. I do calisthenics, martial arts, inline skating, bike riding etc.

My first and strongest love has been Biketrials - bike jumping sport. I started it when I was 15 and from the first day when I got my bike I was hooked. I trained almost every day for 4 years on my own and got really good. I made videos of my riding and the positive admiration I got from my peers was feeding my ego. After high-school I let this passion die and stopped riding regularly. It was a combination of chronic pain I had developed in my back and hitting a Plato. Sadly I haven't felt this passionate about anything else.

Then I started martial arts - taekwondo - and have been doing it for 4 years now. I like the skill aspect of it and not the actual fighting although I am very good at it. I have forced myself to do a few competitions to challenge myself and face the fears of being a let down and damaging my ego but  in general I don't like to compete in anything directly. My trainer has asked me if I would like to train people at his gym based on my skills and work ethic. I had to say no for several reasons: I don't see myself as a teacher, I don't like to work with people, I don't like to be at the center of attention,  I don't like to take position of authority or leader and I don't care if other people do the sport or not. I don't have any ambitions for this sport, I only do it because it keeps me fit and is fun.

Not sports related things - 

I have always loved to draw, I did drawings of my favorite cartoon heroes when I was a kid and was good at it. My dad wanted to send me to art school when I was in 3rd grade or so, but I was rebellious and said no. I consider this to be one of my biggest mistakes. At that time I had no idea what I was saying no to, Had very stupid understanding of what it meant. I thought that art school is for painters who later sell their paintings, live poorly and that's it  I still want to learn how to draw really good just because I like the activity.

I like to do things I can instantly see the result as I am doing the activity, very practical guy. I learn and work the best on my own and when I am alone. Jobs I have had whilst studying - construction worker, bike mechanic, newspaper delivery on scooter - all are very practical and instant-result producing and was tolerable. One thing I learned from my bike mechanic jobs was that I cant't work with people. It drove me nuts when customers showed up unexpectedly and to talk to them. I am a crazy introvert so this was killing me. 

My university experience - 

I went to study mechanical engineering after high-school. I didn't think much about it really, just knew that I had to get a degree to be taken seriously in my country. And engineering seemed like something I could enjoy, considering my practical inclinations. After 2.5 years I dropped out, I had no drive for it, didn't like math and could't imagine myself doing it. 

Then I tried graphic design and thought myself photoshop, illustrator and liked manipulating with visual material, but the connection wasn't really there. Again I thought that this is not serious and I can't really picture myself building a career out of this.  No passion or meaning. 

Then I went to Denmark to study Engineering in product development, I did this to get out of my parents home and worked part-time during studies. I don't have a passion for product development and only like the actual product design itself - sketching, prototyping, CAD modelling, coming up with solutions. And showing what I have created is what I like.
Sadly this was just a small part of the study curriculum - most of it was project management, finances, marketing and other social sciences I have no interest in. I pushed through it and I have almost finished my studies, just have to pass a few exams. 

So this is where I am at now. I could advance my skills in product design - sketching, modelling etc. as I like that activity, but there is no jump-out-of-bed passionate drive for it and I can't connect it with a meaningful impact statement. 

I am not blind to the world problems but cat't find that thing, which would ground me, provide with direction and motivation. My skills, talents, interests and personal traits don't fit together.  

Things where I suck at: 

-Communication in writing or speaking, as an introvert I talk and communicate very little. 
-Working with people, very low Emotional Intelligence and don't like interacting with people I dont know.
-Organizing and leading
-Having a boss and meeting deadlines - Everything that comes from outside and is not from intrinsic motivation, I resent, even if I would like to do it otherwise. 

I am happy living a very simplistic lifestyle, not chasing money at all.  My dreams lie in traveling the world on a motorcycle with close friends - ultimate adventure and freedom machine ;]. 
Maybe I am too egoistic and I am only truly motivated by my selfish desires. 

I am not used to writing and expressing my thought this way so sorry if it is chaotic. It is my first post ever on a public forum. 

I would greatly appreciate if you could provide me with some insight. 

-yahoo.

Edited June 8, 2016 by yahoo

[JevinR]

You could open a business selling mountain bikes! This way you can enjoy riding and adventure and all that comes with it. You could work for a fitness, adventure company like such as here in BC, there are a lot of these types of companies giving experiences to others such as kayaking, mountain biking and the list goes on and on, and on even going to white river rafting. Companies like rocky mountain bicylces, 

Some companies:

-http://adventuretravel.about.com/od/adventuretravelcompanies/tp/topadventurecos.02.htm

Northface is also an apparel company that advocates adventure, self discovery and growth. I remember being in West Edmonton Mall and there was a floor dedicated to your exact passions, they had kayaks and hiking equipment and biking goggles,helmets, the works. It was a niche market, but a market non the less. 

 

Also interesting to note that their is another self-development/self-actualization mentor named Elliot Hulse that loves working with his body, going so far as to stating "The body is the mind". He enjoys powerlifitng, strength training and meditation. He also has made a company on training athletes to reach their highest state of performance, and markets himself on the master of strength, which most likely could be his highest noble value.

And a final note on the introversion, communication problems and organization, they can all be worked on and perfected.

The key to extroversion is just to say your thoughts outloud, with in frame of content. It sounds so silly but that's some of what makes an extrovert, they feed off of external stimuli to increase energy, while internal dwellings or workings deplete their source. Realistically, most people are ambiverts and have good ranging within extroversion and introversion, myself included. Written communication can be worked on similar to other skills, practice, practice, practice.

Drawing is a valuable skill that you can mesh into your life-purpose, it all explode into a super-purpose. You can sell your artwork, you could even draw for adventure companies for experience, you need to get your superpurpose, because this could be a kick-ass career/life-purpose you can construct, you are a very pratical/concrete along with being creative, this can lead to all sorts of things, one just ought to do the brain-storming, I think you just need to get your vision and life-purpose down, in a very concrete and tangible sense. Did you buy the life purpose course? It helps with this, I'm trying to sell it to you yes, but it could help as it is very concrete in its applications. You need to apply everything you learned, rather than being a mind-masturbation theory person, also I hate working with people too lol 

Edited June 8, 2016 by JevinR

[Leo Gura]

@yahoo Sounds like you got a solid foundation there of passion. You just haven't spent enough time pondering it and testing the waters career-wise. How would you feel if you taught other people how to go on adventures around the world? Or if you took other people on adventures around the world for $$$?

Expand your thinking. There are HUNDREDS of possibilities just within this narrow are of adventuring. For fuck's sake, people love adventuring! You can definitely tap that passion in yourself and in them and make a decent living doing it.

[yahoo]

@JevinR @Leo Gura Thank you for your elaborate responses, I really appreciate that

I have thought about the adventuring field a lot and how I could build my career around that. Last year I went to Slovenia on an active-adventure trip with a small group of people (placing small bets ;} ). We did rafting, kayaking, canyoning, rode bikes and hiked mountains. I felt so alive and it was the first time I had gone on such a trip. I imagined how would it feel to be the group leader or instructor and what made them good. They were all people-persons, cheerful, uplifting, engaging. And I thought to myself that I would suck at that and would not enjoy it. Whenever I am put in a leaders position, even if it is just a simple thing like driving people in a car, I feel so uncomfortable. The responsibility, decision making on behalf of others (especially strangers) and attention I get makes me stressful and at unease so this is not my strength. Whenever someone else is in the leader position, I can be great assistant or second hand and adviser. When the responsibility is not on me, I am cheerful and fun, I feel I can relax and be myself. I can handle one-on-one interactions just fine when I have to teach something, but not in a group. 

I bought adventure motorcycling handbooks when I had never rode a motorcycle before. I watched the adventure series Long Way Round with Evan Macgregor and it inspired me like crazy - I knew that it is something I need to do in my life. I got my motorcycle license and am saving up for a bike now. I have thought about a motorcycle adventure trip company, how would it be to organize guided trips. It could work if I partnered up with someone who would be the actual tour guide. But also I am thinking of how responsibility and pressure ruins the activity for me. 

Another approach I have considered is the product design rout. If I worked for some adventure accessory/equipment company and designed products I would want to use myself, it could be a way to exercise my creative skills. Also it is a clearer path in terms of mastering a skill, but cant see myself being passionate about it. I imagine with a stable paying job I could enjoy myself more and all the activities I like to do in spare time would be without pressure. Maybe this would be more appropriate for me than trying to organize a business around my passions. Then again just the thought of being chained to a job and be allowed to take 2 week vacation a year is driving me crazy. My freedom loving side in rebellious to this. 


A side note. I would like to be an inspiration to my friends and family and in general. It saddens me to see how friends are in jobs they have no passion for, are miserable, no energy and no purpose, wasting their potential and settling. Family full of victim mindsets and projecting their fears on me. This is the impact I wan't to have. Almost nobody is into personal development around me so I need to get myself on track with career and purpose to be an example. 

I have the Life Purpose course and have gone through it. It is really great
Bringing it all together in having the impact statement + zone of genius is what causes me troubles. Still a lot of uncertainty I have to resolve. 

Thank you for the videos   repetition is the mother of learning. And yes, I know Elliott, his advice has helped me a lot. 

On being more extroverted - It's not that I am shy, I am reserved and listen more than speak. I loose energy and get drained after parties or social events, even if I liked them I need to retract to my shell and recharge. I don't think I can go against this and succeed, that is why working with people directly is a no no for me. 

-yahoo