Only thing that I know is that I am

[Javfly33]

I am.

I am always.

What it's now to do?

Nothing.

So I have to become a something.

So I will become a:

Person

Thought

Feeling

An idea of having a mind

An idea of having a body

What it's for me now if I just stay in I AM?

Which motive would I have to destruct my beautiful creation?

[Highest]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

I am.

I am always.

What it's now to do?

Nothing.

So I have to become a something.

So I will become a:

Person

Thought

Feeling

An idea of having a mind

An idea of having a body

What it's for me now if I just stay in I AM?

Which motive would I have to destruct my beautiful creation?

Indeed, no need to destruct creation.

They say, "Kill your ego!" 

They say, "Annihilate your mind!" 

I say, "Why would I make that mistake?" 

No, my mind is precious.

 My ego is precious. 

My body is precious. 

Feel it, be aware and conscious of it. 

God designed, precision engineered and formed you in your mothers womb. 

So you could be here now. See, feel, be aware and conscious. 

Look at your precious body. How it's designed to it's very detail.  So you could touch yourself and others body. Feel the sensations. Feel the emotions.

He gave you life, so you could breathe and feel your breath. 

He gave you a mind, so you could dream to infinity. Imagine, create from scratch.

He gave you a ego, so you could be the unique you. 

So we, as two, could interact and love.  Feel our heart beat. Kiss. Hug. Talk.

Be.

Love. 

It's a miracle. 

Beauty in action. 

Magic in front of your eyes...    

 

So I said, "Why would I make that mistake?"

[Nahm]

22 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

What it's for me now if I just stay in I AM?

Which motive would I have to destruct my beautiful creation?

Can’t stay in what you are. (Not two)

The motive you want, which feels good, to create what you really want to in this lifetime.

What you really want.

The dream that takes your blood, sweat, tears, and brings every nuance of self doubt into the light. 

 

 

Can’t stay in creation either. 

“Destructing creation” is creating the experience of destructing creation. 

I am is indestructible. 

Creation is I am. 

You’re good to go, in any case. 

♥️?

[Javfly33]

8 hours ago, Nahm said:

Can’t stay in what you are. (Not two)

The motive you want, which feels good, to create what you really want to in this lifetime.

What you really want.

The dream that takes your blood, sweat, tears, and brings every nuance of self doubt into the light. 

 

 

Can’t stay in creation either. 

“Destructing creation” is creating the experience of destructing creation. 

I am is indestructible. 

Creation is I am. 

You’re good to go, in any case. 

♥️?

Yes! I´m starting to grasp it, subtle, very subtle, It´s truly amazing the intelligence of what I AM!  

 

Edited December 25, 2019 by Javfly33

[cetus]

14 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

I´m starting to grasp it, subtle, very subtle,

Your looking in the right place

 

[Forestluv]

@Javfly33 One practice I found helpful was to simply be “I AM” for a period each day. This can be during meditation, yoga, time in nature. In this practice, nothing is added to “I AM”. No “I Am this or that”, no “I Am is xyz”. Nothing added. Simply “I AMness” in meditation, yoga, nature. Perhaps an hour a day. 

Over time, the thought stories of “I Am” was reduced and the Beingness of “I AM” was increased. After a while the “I” in “I AMness” was dropped and there was simply “AMness” in presence. 

[Nahm]

31 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

truly amazing

??

[Guru Fat Bastard]

11 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

One practice I found helpful was to simply be “I AM” for a period each day.

??.
Being is simple.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle to simply Being,is in ones reluctance to just let  themselves Be.

A few lyrics from the song Down in hole (by Alice In Chains).
"Well you don't understand who they thought
I was supposed to be
But look at me now ,
a man who won't let himself be."

Singer,(Layne Staley) later died of heroin addiction.

 

[VeganAwake]

I hear this a lot and it seems to be confused a lot

There's no master telling anyone to kill the ego... you can't kill the ego...

The process is a diss identification with the egoic self agenda or ego.

Essentially the ego deflates and it's rendered useless because you stopped paying it any attention.

After Awakening the ego is completely seen through and recognized as an illusion ❤

Loving the ego isn't what you want to do either because it's perpetuating the illusion..

 

[VeganAwake]

1 minute ago, VeganAwake said:

I hear this a lot and it seems to cause a lot of confusion...

There's no master telling anyone to kill the ego... you can't kill the ego...

The process is a diss identification with the egoic self agenda or ego.

Essentially the ego deflates and it's rendered useless because you stopped paying it any attention.

After Awakening the ego is completely seen through and recognized as an illusion ❤

Loving the ego isn't what you want to do either because it's perpetuating the illusion..

 

 

[LfcCharlie4]

@VeganAwake  This is also confusion, yes Ego is an 'Illusion' but you can still function AS IF you have a Small Self/ Ego, but the KNOWINGNESS shifts to that you don't. 

For example if someone calls your name you will turn around, you could call it a 'Pure Ego' but that creates confusion. 

You will still have a personality and be YOU, in fact more you than ever before, as there is no resistance or blockages to being YOU anymore. 

Please don't start denying your humanity, you will still be YOU and are still a human relatively speaking. Yes you know yourself as The Self, but so many people want to transcend their humanity instead of embrace it post-awakening. 

 I wish I could link you a private Satsang that explains this better than I can, but it isn't freely available so am unable to, but yes after awakening there is an 'Ego/ Small Self' you no longer identify as it, but you still live as IF there is one and your individuality remains. 

You get your cake (The Self) and can eat it too! (being YOU as an individual) 

Think about it, what fun would life be without being an individual? We will all have time to bask in The Self alone when the body ceases to exist. 

But, when you go full circle Duality is no longer slightly rejected, but instead is embraced fully as this very world is the Buddha planet, now some special place, THIS is it as you always say, but do you realize THIS world is it to? 

Enjoy duality, as if all is the Self, all can be enjoyed however you please. 

Think about the 10th Zen picture, he returns to the marketplace with flowers under his feet. 

This indicates the ordinary being the extraordinary but the flowers symbolise the Self being realized and the change in knowingness. 

 

'X. In the World Barefooted and naked of breast, I mingle with the people of the world. My clothes are ragged and dust-laden, and I am ever blissful. I use no magic to extend my life; Now, before me, the dead trees become alive. I have abandoned the whip and ropes

Finally, the tenth picture shows the enlightened oxherd entering the town marketplace, doing all of the ordinary things that everyone else does. But because of his deep awareness everything he does is quite extraordinary. He does not retreat from the world, but shares his enlightened existence with everyone around him. Not only does he lead fishmongers and innkeepers in the way of the Buddha but, because of his creative energy and the radiance of his life, even withered trees bloom.'

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/weai/exeas/resources/pdf/oxherding.pdf

 

 

[WelcometoReality]

@VeganAwake Yeah it's as hard to kill an ego like it's hard to drink water from a mirage of an oasis. <3

[VeganAwake]

6 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

@VeganAwake  This is also confusion, yes Ego is an 'Illusion' but you can still function AS IF you have a Small Self/ Ego, but the KNOWINGNESS shifts to that you don't. 

For example if someone calls your name you will turn around, you could call it a 'Pure Ego' but that creates confusion. 

You will still have a personality and be YOU, in fact more you than ever before, as there is no resistance or blockages to being YOU anymore. 

Please don't start denying your humanity, you will still be YOU and are still a human relatively speaking. Yes you know yourself as The Self, but so many people want to transcend their humanity instead of embrace it post-awakening. 

 I wish I could link you a private Satsang that explains this better than I can, but it isn't freely available so am unable to, but yes after awakening there is an 'Ego/ Small Self' you no longer identify as it, but you still live as IF there is one and your individuality remains. 

You get your cake (The Self) and can eat it too! (being YOU as an individual) 

Think about it, what fun would life be without being an individual? We will all have time to bask in The Self alone when the body ceases to exist. 

But, when you go full circle Duality is no longer slightly rejected, but instead is embraced fully as this very world is the Buddha planet, now some special place, THIS is it as you always say, but do you realize THIS world is it to? 

Enjoy duality, as if all is the Self, all can be enjoyed however you please. 

Think about the 10th Zen picture, he returns to the marketplace with flowers under his feet. 

This indicates the ordinary being the extraordinary but the flowers symbolise the Self being realized and the change in knowingness. 

 

'X. In the World Barefooted and naked of breast, I mingle with the people of the world. My clothes are ragged and dust-laden, and I am ever blissful. I use no magic to extend my life; Now, before me, the dead trees become alive. I have abandoned the whip and ropes

Finally, the tenth picture shows the enlightened oxherd entering the town marketplace, doing all of the ordinary things that everyone else does. But because of his deep awareness everything he does is quite extraordinary. He does not retreat from the world, but shares his enlightened existence with everyone around him. Not only does he lead fishmongers and innkeepers in the way of the Buddha but, because of his creative energy and the radiance of his life, even withered trees bloom.'

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/weai/exeas/resources/pdf/oxherding.pdf

 

 

We have actually discussed this topic before...❤

When your name is called the body turns because of its conditioning... the same way you can drive all the way to the store and not even realize you did it...its conditioning... it runs on autopilot... the sense of personality remaining is also still just the conditioning. 

Duality is an illusion.... no matter how much you imagine separation to be real, it is an illusion, and just because something appears as separate does not mean it is... Its all One appearing as many.

It's not that humanity is denied or anything like that, its completely recognized there is no true ME inside the body. 

There was never a small self and there isn't a large self either that makes no sense... even the big self or true self is an illusion there isn't a ME inside the body period...

I completely understand what you're talking about with the zen ox heading pictures and returning back to the marketplace. Before Enlightenment chop wood and carry water after Enlightenment chop wood and carry water. The difference is the resistance to what is is dropped...totally got it.

The path to freedom is not self improvement, or somehow satisfying the self’s agenda, but it’s a dropping of the self’s agenda altogether. Some people fear that awakening their true nature will mean that they lose their individuality and enjoyment of life. 

Actually, the opposite is true; the unique individuation of the soul can only be expressed when the conditioned self is overcome. Because we remain asleep in the matrix most of us never find out what the soul actually wants to express.

Maya or the illusion has to have been completely seen through for True Enlightenment to have taken place.

I am not in any way accusing you of not having a full Enlightenment experience I'm just saying that it seems there are some fairly large differences between my experience and yours..

Going full circle does not seem to match or describe this experience here.

For this unit here there was a radical transformation, shift and expanse of Consciousness if you will. I'm not interested in the same things I used to be and almost all of my future goals have completely changed or just dissolved.

Again I'm not trying to compare experiences or say one was better than the other.

Instead of calling it going for Circle... I would describe it as "Full self transformation and Liberation from the egoic self agenda and social conditioning which I call The Matrix". ❤

Merry Christmas brother!! ?

Talk with you soon hopefully ❤

 

 

 

 

 

[Aaron p]

the one who seeks to kill the ego must die. And the one who seeks to kill this one must die also

[VeganAwake]

1 minute ago, Aaron p said:

the one who seeks to kill the ego must die. And the one who seeks to kill this one must die also

Another way to put it is recognizing both never existed to begin with ❤

[LfcCharlie4]

@VeganAwake Yeah, I think it’s best to leave it, but I strongly disagree and have been through the phase you are at now, but it is impossible to put into words. 

You say duality is an illusion, but saying that is in itself a subtle rejection of duality, as when duality is resolved there is no question of duality or non-duality, but just The Self, therefore you don’t have to reject the small self. 

Also, I’d be careful disregarding Personal Development work, that involves basically everything on the human dimension including eating healthy, exercising etc.

of course your goals change, it just depends on each person to how drastic it changes, for example my business evolved to match the understanding, however when you realise the ordinary is actually extraordinary, there is no need for any of this or to teach anything, I highly recommend reading 1000 to understand the Self-Realization I am talking about, Fred Davis is very far away from a full realisation, there are depths to this work and I am not talking about having 1 experience here. 

I will leave this here outlining some of what being at 1000 is like. 

RASA 

 

The end of seeking, grasping and craving. You will no longer suffer from an existential contraction, angst or sense of conflict that persists no matter what. You will finally feel totally relaxed, at ease and in peace.

 

You live in a state of total let go. You will feel unlimited. You will not feel conditioned or controlled by anyone or anything. You live spontaneously.

 

Other positive life-enhancing characteristics blossom in you because now you are living fearlessly! You are without fear! As a result, people experience you as more friendly and more positive. You are able to accomplish much more with little or no sense of effort. You can achieve whatever your true desire is because now you are perfectly aligned to the universal power.

 

Contrary to anti-life enlightenment teachings promoted by monks and celibate yogis, you will find that your senses and your experiences in life are richer and more fulfilling. Everything looks better, sounds better, feels better, tastes better and smells better. For your entire life you were driving with the brakes on. You were not living at full power. At long last now you can live!

 

You will experience the temporary content that comes and goes the way the sky experiences clouds and weather. The sky remains free as the sky always.

 

Suffering as you have known it ends. The reality is that life includes pain. Pain cannot be avoided. But suffering is optional. There can still be negative thoughts and emotions as that is part of being a human being. But you will know directly that whatever arises is not me... not mine... and not about me!

 

Your old way of living will come to a full and complete stop. You will be reborn as your effortless free natural Self or Essence. This ends your "story" of suffering and separation which was never real in the first place.

 

The issue of "other" gets fully resolved. You know directly and intimately even when you are talking to people face to face that they are your very own Self. They are your Self... my Self... the Self... the One Supreme Self.

 

The issue of "world out there" gets fully resolved. It becomes crystal clear to you that the world arises from you! YOU are the Source of the world. It is like the world is a dog that is begging to accompany you in life. It needs you but you don't need it. It's a playful celebration. There is no need to deny a world that is not really there... that is just a dream. You are free to enjoy the world!

 

The issue of "relationships" gets fully resolved. There is no other. All there is is only the Self which is your Self. This means that even when you are in relationship there is nothing to figure out. It is all spontaneous. It is the wisdom display of the one divine Self. The two partners are one dancer.

 

The issue of "addiction" and chronic inner conflicts gets fully resolved. You realize that everything that arises in you as well as what you say and do is totally spontaneous. It is the action of the universe from one moment to the next. Every moment is vivid, fresh and new. Each moment is a gift. As a result you relax and let go into a full ever expanding enjoyment of this moment as it is. Old bad habits melt away automatically like snow falling on the sun.

 

You abide in the blessed state of "only don't know." You live like an innocent little child with total faith and trust in this glorious wildly creative universe.

 

Manifestation becomes effortless. Contrary to tepid views that suggest life ends after enlightenment, the reality is that now finally LIFE BEGINS! One of the benefits of fully realizing you are not the doer, that God or the universe is the doer, is that now you understand that there are NO obstacles to the manifestation of your true spontaneous natural desires! The conventional person stuck in feeling like the doer creates all kinds of obstacles in his mind because he imagines he must do it all. The truth is the exact opposite. You role is simple. Know and feel clearly what you want... then ask for it!

 

Your resistance to living in each moment disappears. You used to reject and judge your moment to moment experience as not what you want, not good enough, that there must be more etc. Now because your ability to say "no" has been disabled, all you can say is a big warm wonderful "Yes!" to life.

 

Everything is known to be perfect just as it is. Everything is known to have infinite precious value. You are content. You are fulfilled. You are home.

 

You feel at all times that you are being yourself. You live in sahaja, meaning the natural state. You feel totally at ease with yourself. Life is effortless.

 

Although content comes and goes, that which you are does not come and go. It is always present. So no matter what happens there is a foundation to your experience that goes untouched. This is the Diamond Essence of your Being. No matter how dirty it seems to get, it can be instantly washed off. You soon realize that you are free and that nothing can touch you. Not only that, this Diamond Self that you are is rock hard, solid and totally real. Now you have a reliable foundation for living. Now at last you know who you are.

 

These are just some of the benefits of living at LOC 1000. Realizing your true Self is beyond mystical experiences. The search is completely over. That in itself is such a huge relief! Finally you are HOME. You are your SELF! Finally!

(from What is Rasa on Ramaji/ Anandas website)

examples of self realised beings include Ramana, Rupert Spurs, Francis Lucille, Adya, Ramaji Nisgardatta Maharaj, Sadhguru. 

If you watch Fred for example and then listen to Ramana you will see subtle differences in the teaching, yet Fred is certainly awakened. 

[Raptorsin7]

@LfcCharlie4 I've been reading your post history, and for some reason people have such a strong negative reaction to your posts lol. 

From my pov what you're talking about seems like an ideal path for a western seeker. We want the benefits of enlightenment and spirituality, but we don't want to get live in robes or get crucified on a cross because of the teachings lol.

But maybe the reason you get so much flack is because you're missing something? Why do you think people are so resistant? 

[LfcCharlie4]

@Raptorsin7 I guess I come across a bit preachy, but that’s only because I was stuck for so long. 

Exactly what you said, western seekers are far different to eastern.

unless you want to go live in a robe or an ashram I believe a Tantric (life promoting) path is best, hence that is my message and what I try to share.

Also, much of spirituality is taught from the old way, of Monastaries, ashrams, life denying essentially instead of life affirming due to context Nd culture.

but it doesn’t have to be like that, ever.

if you want it to be, then follow it. 

But, personally I want to experience a life affirming teaching AND all the benefits of Realizing the Self, and I’m lucky I found the teachers for that. 

I always felt there was something missing when I studied Buddhism, Monks, even Ramana as he lived in a diaper remember, so I always apply context to these teachings. 

I’m only trying to help fellow westerners, but many may not resonate and that’s fine.

many teachers teach from much lower depths of understanding like Eckhart and Fred, and that’s fine.

there could also be a level deeper than “1000” however it is the first time I have felt truly home after multiple awakenings including into No-Self, Realizing I am God, Awakening of love, Realizing the Self is all etc, I always felt there was further to go until NOW. 

It also could be because I disagree with basically everyone, I rarely say I agree so people won’t like that either ? But I’m not perfect as a human, nobody is. 

however existentially I know everything is perfect as it is  

Also, I’m really young as you can see from my pic, so many assume I’ll be naive and misinformed but I have been through all the stages people talk about mainly hence why I try to help, as I’ve been there, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t talk about it. 

Like I have said many times reading 1000 can help you understand the depths, and then watching teachers at different depths of awakening can help you understand the subtly differences and deepenings of awakening, not every teacher or awakening is the same depth, people need to realise this. 

I guess I could come off less pushy and authoritative though, but it’s all coming from a place of wanting to help people experience the unspeakable that permeates my experience moment to moment and I hope my delivery of this wil only get better  

[VeganAwake]

43 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

@VeganAwake Yeah, I think it’s best to leave it, but I strongly disagree and have been through the phase you are at now, but it is impossible to put into words. 

You say duality is an illusion, but saying that is in itself a subtle rejection of duality, as when duality is resolved there is no question of duality or non-duality, but just The Self, therefore you don’t have to reject the small self. 

Also, I’d be careful disregarding Personal Development work, that involves basically everything on the human dimension including eating healthy, exercising etc.

of course your goals change, it just depends on each person to how drastic it changes, for example my business evolved to match the understanding, however when you realise the ordinary is actually extraordinary, there is no need for any of this or to teach anything, I highly recommend reading 1000 to understand the Self-Realization I am talking about, Fred Davis is very far away from a full realisation, there are depths to this work and I am not talking about having 1 experience here. 

I will leave this here outlining some of what being at 1000 is like. 

RASA 

 

The end of seeking, grasping and craving. You will no longer suffer from an existential contraction, angst or sense of conflict that persists no matter what. You will finally feel totally relaxed, at ease and in peace.

 

You live in a state of total let go. You will feel unlimited. You will not feel conditioned or controlled by anyone or anything. You live spontaneously.

 

Other positive life-enhancing characteristics blossom in you because now you are living fearlessly! You are without fear! As a result, people experience you as more friendly and more positive. You are able to accomplish much more with little or no sense of effort. You can achieve whatever your true desire is because now you are perfectly aligned to the universal power.

 

Contrary to anti-life enlightenment teachings promoted by monks and celibate yogis, you will find that your senses and your experiences in life are richer and more fulfilling. Everything looks better, sounds better, feels better, tastes better and smells better. For your entire life you were driving with the brakes on. You were not living at full power. At long last now you can live!

 

You will experience the temporary content that comes and goes the way the sky experiences clouds and weather. The sky remains free as the sky always.

 

Suffering as you have known it ends. The reality is that life includes pain. Pain cannot be avoided. But suffering is optional. There can still be negative thoughts and emotions as that is part of being a human being. But you will know directly that whatever arises is not me... not mine... and not about me!

 

Your old way of living will come to a full and complete stop. You will be reborn as your effortless free natural Self or Essence. This ends your "story" of suffering and separation which was never real in the first place.

 

The issue of "other" gets fully resolved. You know directly and intimately even when you are talking to people face to face that they are your very own Self. They are your Self... my Self... the Self... the One Supreme Self.

 

The issue of "world out there" gets fully resolved. It becomes crystal clear to you that the world arises from you! YOU are the Source of the world. It is like the world is a dog that is begging to accompany you in life. It needs you but you don't need it. It's a playful celebration. There is no need to deny a world that is not really there... that is just a dream. You are free to enjoy the world!

 

The issue of "relationships" gets fully resolved. There is no other. All there is is only the Self which is your Self. This means that even when you are in relationship there is nothing to figure out. It is all spontaneous. It is the wisdom display of the one divine Self. The two partners are one dancer.

 

The issue of "addiction" and chronic inner conflicts gets fully resolved. You realize that everything that arises in you as well as what you say and do is totally spontaneous. It is the action of the universe from one moment to the next. Every moment is vivid, fresh and new. Each moment is a gift. As a result you relax and let go into a full ever expanding enjoyment of this moment as it is. Old bad habits melt away automatically like snow falling on the sun.

 

You abide in the blessed state of "only don't know." You live like an innocent little child with total faith and trust in this glorious wildly creative universe.

 

Manifestation becomes effortless. Contrary to tepid views that suggest life ends after enlightenment, the reality is that now finally LIFE BEGINS! One of the benefits of fully realizing you are not the doer, that God or the universe is the doer, is that now you understand that there are NO obstacles to the manifestation of your true spontaneous natural desires! The conventional person stuck in feeling like the doer creates all kinds of obstacles in his mind because he imagines he must do it all. The truth is the exact opposite. You role is simple. Know and feel clearly what you want... then ask for it!

 

Your resistance to living in each moment disappears. You used to reject and judge your moment to moment experience as not what you want, not good enough, that there must be more etc. Now because your ability to say "no" has been disabled, all you can say is a big warm wonderful "Yes!" to life.

 

Everything is known to be perfect just as it is. Everything is known to have infinite precious value. You are content. You are fulfilled. You are home.

 

You feel at all times that you are being yourself. You live in sahaja, meaning the natural state. You feel totally at ease with yourself. Life is effortless.

 

Although content comes and goes, that which you are does not come and go. It is always present. So no matter what happens there is a foundation to your experience that goes untouched. This is the Diamond Essence of your Being. No matter how dirty it seems to get, it can be instantly washed off. You soon realize that you are free and that nothing can touch you. Not only that, this Diamond Self that you are is rock hard, solid and totally real. Now you have a reliable foundation for living. Now at last you know who you are.

 

These are just some of the benefits of living at LOC 1000. Realizing your true Self is beyond mystical experiences. The search is completely over. That in itself is such a huge relief! Finally you are HOME. You are your SELF! Finally!

(from What is Rasa on Ramaji/ Anandas website)

examples of self realised beings include Ramana, Rupert Spurs, Francis Lucille, Adya, Ramaji Nisgardatta Maharaj, Sadhguru. 

If you watch Fred for example and then listen to Ramana you will see subtle differences in the teaching, yet Fred is certainly awakened. 

I agree with a lot of stuff you shared here...❤

There is simply nothing left here requiring any kind of personal development goals to be accomplished or learned.

There is no one here to have a need to attain anything. There is no goal, there is no purpose, there is no meaning... nothing really matters that's not a bad thing it's complete boundless freedom...

 I can quite literally sit on the couch and eat cookies for the rest of my life and feel whole and complete the entire time while I'm doing it.

The illusory egoic self agenda has been completely seen through here...

Nowhere to go...nothing to do and no one to be...its paradise it's the Kingdom of Heaven it's Enlightenment.

There's nothing wrong with the way you're doing it either it's all perfect and it's all within THIS... everything happens within THIS... there's no escaping it nor denying it.. ❤

Pure unconditional love for THIS is what remains...❤

[Highest]

@VeganAwake I know about one thing being outside of This, actually...

My Red Bull. I'm happy for it. How else could I drink it?

?

Yea, I'm a supposed devil. A devil and enjoing it. I almost cheated today. My ego-mind almost couldn't resist it... But I annihilated the thought of cheating...

I quess that makes me less of a devil...