How to let go of suffering when the ego doesn’t want to?

[Jahmaine]

Large amounts of suffering is happening as a result of meanings and projections I have about myself and the way I wanted life to be, rather than just accepting what is. An injustice “happened to me” and my ego wants to hate, wants to dislike and criticise that which I perceive to have done the injustice, yet at a deeper level, I know it wasn’t done in a conscious malicious way, it was an unconscious manipulation in the hope of gaining love, not realising that truth and genuineness will lead to love, not manipulation and deception. 

Summerising- how do I let go when I know I should but my ego really doesn’t want to?

[Javfly33]

By knowing you do not need to let go.

Allow with an open heart you not letting go.

Here's why, If you are not ready to let go, do not force yourself to let go. Rather, when you notice a movement in form or thought of you judging or not letting go, instead of categorising that as "bad", or as "that need to change", see it as what it is. See if you can see that movement (thought, emotion etc) without judging it.

You are asking how to stop hating, disliking or critizising, well the first step is actually to not judge this hating, disliking or critizising in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, this hating has the same 'taste' as love. But do not believe me, actually do this anti-judgement practice and see what you discover.

Edited December 23, 2019 by Javfly33

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, Jahmaine said:

Summerising- how do I let go when I know I should but my ego really doesn’t want to?

Some of your thoughts are telling you that you SHOULD let go and forgive and others are hating and critizising. That creates division inside. They are telling you that you aren't ready to forgive yet. Give those thoughts and feelings attention. When they dissolve then you have forgiven and let go. You don't choose when it's time to do that.

[SoonHei]

@Jahmaine ego is suffering. Ego cannot stop being itself. When there is ego, there will be suffering.

 

You can be free of the ego which = you can be free of suffering (as ego = suffering) 

 

You do this by realizing you're not the ego. When you are no longer the one who is suffering, then your suffering ends, automatically.

 

Example, you find out that your mom got into a car accident. You rush to the hospital and are deeply troubled and worried. When you get there, you find out there's been a mistake and it was not your mother who got into the accident. The moment you realize this, the suffering ends. 

 

In this case, the one suffering is very intimate, close, personal. So seeing that you're not the ego (what you thought you were) It can be a very radical realization so can be a mixed bags of emotions which follow, but liberation is certainly on that list.

 

That's the only way to be free of the suffering... To see you're not the one who suffers. 

And The ego / character must resolve/accept the situation and can find peace in that. No resistance to the circumstances. 

[Jahmaine]

@Javfly33 thank you

@WelcometoReality  thank you 

11 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

In this case, the one suffering is very intimate, close, personal. So seeing that you're not the ego (what you thought you were) It can be a very radical realization so can be a mixed bags of emotions which follow, but liberation is certainly on that list.

 

That's the only way to be free of the suffering... To see you're not the one who suffers. 

And The ego / character must resolve/accept the situation and can find peace in that. No resistance to the circumstances. 

Thank you; I do literally feel like my ego’s being destroyed, in the sense of realising that I’m not my ego in such a raw way, it’s what allows for acceptance.

[Recursoinominado]

Let go of the need to let go. Remember: acceptance means that everything "it's ok". It's ok to feel pain, it's ok to resist letting go. 

[Highest]

You go on.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well, I have been tried to be killed an infinite amount of times.

And here I am. Still standing, still loving...

Still going on... Now and for an eternity.

Now and for eternity.

[SoonHei]

15 minutes ago, Jahmaine said:

it’s what allows for acceptance.

Indeed. Automatically so. 

Just as there's no bravery needed to not be fearful of the 'snake' when it's seen to be only a rope.

The fear vanishes instantly when the rope is seen. Same way, acceptance results with that discovery.

 

 

@Highest ?

Now and for eternity.

 

Edited December 23, 2019 by SoonHei

[Highest]

@SoonHei ?

[Nahm]

Feel the feeling, rather than believing the thoughts, at the expense of feelings. 

If you don’t feel good, you’re still believing a thought about “you”. 

There are many ways to uncover & realize the falsity of the thought.