"Psychotherapy is a sanctuary; it is a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief. But, always, it is where I have believed–or have learned to believe–that I might someday be able to contend with all of this."  - Kay Redfield Jamison Background  I have suffered from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety since I was 12. I have always avoided the traditional ways to healing (psychotherapy & psychiatry). I thought it wasn't effective. I had gone to a few of them, but none were actually good. No psychotherapy > bad psychotherapy. So instead, I tried all the unorthodox approaches : Neuroliguistic Programming, veganism, Yoga, Tai Chi, theater classes, hypnosis, family constellation, hardcore meditation, cold showers, Tapping, Ayahuasca ceremonies, etc.  Some of those things work in the short-term. But sooner or later, I'd fall on my ass and be worse off. This would make me feel very frustrated because I felt it was working because of me.    "I am done with unorthodox approaches. I want the traditional!"  A year ago, I was going through a major depressive episode. I was waking up at 5 PM, would only stay in bed, watch random stuff on the internet, was heavily socially anxious. Sleeping and eating was the most exciting things in my day. So, I decided to try a psychiatrist a friend recommended. To sum up, he was very blunt, arrogant, and incompetent. After six months of treatment, I had a hypo-maniac episode (which is a negative type of euphoria). This was caused by being prescribed the wrong medication.  Then, last June, I found a psychiatrist online that had very good reviews. And I also started going to a really good psychologist. She has tons of experience, and is very empathetic. She never once told me something like: "You're being lazy", "You're too sensitive", "You need to push yourself more." She does not tell me what I "need" to do. Instead, through dialogue, I come to the conclusion by myself. And because she doesn't scold me, I feel safe to open up to her.  And btw, psychotherapy is not just a conversation. Far from it.    Results It's been about six months that I have been with this psychologist + psychiatrist, and here's what I have accomplished so far:  1) My mood is finally stable. A year ago, I'd have a good day, and then 6 very depressed days. Obviously, I am not 100% everyday, but I can actually function, live life with its ups and downs. It is a great blessing to not feel debilitating and unreasoning emotions. I still feel bad sometimes, but now it has a cause, is manageable, and is not overwhelming. 2) My psychiatrist gave two medications that fit me very well. One of it gives me energy and will-power. And the other one helps me shut down my mind and go to sleep. Each medication cancels the side effects of the other one.  3) My sexuality is much healthier.  4) I have stopped smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and using any type of psychedelics. Although I didn't admit, I was pretty much addicted to those things. And in my case, nothing that alters my normal state of mind is good for me.  5) I am proactively finding new things to do. Instead of being in bed all day or just mindlessly use the internet; I actually want to get out of the house. (I am not neurotic about always being outside doing stuff though). 6) I have started to take keyboard and Spanish classes. I practice yoga and soccer by myself daily (I don't have to force myself; it's organic). And I also walk my dog with a dog trainer twice a week. So my routine has more meaningful and exciting things.  7) My relationships are much more healthy. Regarding friends, I can now set healthy boundaries more easily. Regarding dating, I am actually going out with people! (which was something unimaginable a few months ago). I am learning how to deal with jealousy, rejection, and so on. And finally regarding my family, it's all getting very harmonic.  8) I am more laid-back. I used to be very tensed up and neurotic about stuff. Instead of thinking about existential, deep and shadowy stuff all day (but having no results), I now direct all of this to my weekly 1-hour of psychotherapy. This way in my day-to-day life; I feel lighter, less tensed and overly-profound, and more playful.   9) I can trust that I will naturally do what's best for me. I am more in-the-moment. I don't hold very strong and inflexible decisions. Instead, I flow with life.  > If I am being too stubborn, I identify that and let it go. > If I am being lazy or passive, I negotiate with myself so that I can actually do what I want to do.  9) I am losing weight effortlessly. Or as some self-help authors like to put it, "I am getting back to my natural body form". Because of the depression, I was eating copious amounts of food - which made me gain weight. But now I don't crave for food anymore; and I don't have to starve myself to lose weight nor eat stuff that has no flavor. Oh, and I am also sleeping less (from 10-12 hours daily to 7-9 hours).  10) I am taking more care of my appearance and well-being. I use moisturizer; I use a type of shampoo that covers my white hair; I am shaving some parts of my body. It is not something "over the top". It's healthy. I am not abandoning my body; instead, I am taking care of it.  Important: Boy oh boy, did I wish I could accomplish all of that through reading self-help books, watching videos, meditating the shit out of me, talking with a "spiritual" friend; or using psychedelics. I learned the hard way that I cannot depend on those things to be healthy psychologically - they are just a complement for high-quality face-to-face psychotherapy and psychiatry.      If you liked the quote at the beginning of this topic, check this out:  https://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/2010/10/kay-redfield-jamison-on-psycho-1.html.