mmKay

- Upwards Spyral - 6 Week no Cocaine Challenge or I donate 1000€ to Actualized.org

35 posts in this topic

As far as eating, I made a HUGE BOWL of salad - 3 sliced up tomatoes, 1 large red bell peper, a handful of spinach and another one of iceberg lettuce. Bunch of pink salt that I kept pouring over as I ate the top coat, olive oil, some black pepper and - holy shit - I just realized that I have squeezed a whole lemon into a cup and forgot about putting it into the mix. Now it's just sittin' there. And I was wondering how come it ain't sour.

My vegetables aren't organic and I forgot to buy baking soda to wash them. I just thoroughly rubbed them under tap water. Welp.

I was about to put the first fork of leaves into my mouth as I remembered that once again I had forgotten my ritual. I pulled the fork out of my mouth, clapped and rubbed my hands, took a deep breath and focused on the self-imposed importance of this moment of eating.

The battle took about 25 min of chewing, where I had to take 2-3 breaks to rest my jaw.

I didn't want to have any avocados to see how it feels to get satiated only on these vegetables.

I thought I was full half way through the plate, but pushed myself through it to see how " overeating " feels on vegetables.  I ate a horse-sized bowl of food and the gut ain't complaining besides some mild diharrea-like green poop, no brain fog, no worsening of bodily weakness (quite a boost of energy tbh). And actually I dont feel stuffed. I feel satiated and peaceful.

I know the ideal would be to just sit by yourself with the plate to eat completely mindfully, but for now I feel that an audiobook is some cool company for eating, specially for such long time. It makes it somewhat exciting compared to the stimulation of ready to go snacks that are super convenient,  quick, instantaneous , easy and energy spiking that allow you to forget about putting thought and effort into nutrition and be off to the next thing.

L8er!


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Abour 5 hours have passed since last meal with little to no hunger or negative effects.

No headache anymore, which is great. What persists is this chronic bodily exhaustion. 

And why wouldn't I be exhausted. I tend to sit all day in my room. Being a low-carb diet digital couch potato.

The idea is that it will take my body 'bout two to three weeks to adapt do the diet change. But I think diet can only get me so much physical energy.

I switched audiobooks since I noticed ( after bout two hours ) the one I was listening to was more about the history of the food industry. I wanted some more concrete ideas at this moment. So now I'm listening to the Primal Blueprint and it looks like this guy really does have health down.

Since I went through my workout phase at 17 and lost interest in it, what caught my attention for now was the idea  of low intensity exercise like walking (and occasional all-out sprinting) as the ideal physical conditioning.

 

Inspired, I grabbed my phone and went in my pijamas and flip-flops to take a walk around the beach with the audiobook in loudspeaker. I felt like an old grandma at first, taking little steps and even struggling to keep my upper back straight. Some minutes passed and I could feel tiny improvements to my energy levels. I wetted my feet in the freezing water and then sat down on a big-ass rock for 'bout 10 min, just taking in the sunlight, which is another recomendation from the book.

He's right. I'm most likely getting very little vitamin D from lack of exposure to the sun. I don't know how crucial that is or how the difference feels in direct experience.

Came back home. That felt good. It's really common sense how moving the body contributes to physical wellbeing. That's most likely the next step for growht in this area.

I wanted to do some light stretching before heading out but I really had little energy to even stand up. I'd say that walk gave me a good boost for now. Also felt quite less cold when I came back. Probably blood flowing increased my temperature.

I still wasn't THAT hungry but I noticed myself in this limbo where I didn't want to lie down, go for a walk or keep sitting so I took some time to cut up one whole avocado and half zucchini in slices. I know how delucious zucchini is when lightly fried with some olive oil and sprinkled with salt. Almost tastes meat-like. But I didn't want to fry anyting at least this first week so I just put a tiny bit of water into a pot and out 'bout 12 slices of zucchini. 

It got the job done. Tasted good, no gut complaints and I'm feling peaceful and light.

-

I threw the rest of yesterdays carrot soup as it smell funky and I didn't really wanna eat it. So I dumped it onto the roots of the avocado tree that's growing in my garden. IDK if it does anything but I guess it gets some nutrients from stuff like this (?)

They looking good, but not ready. Too sad last year someone broke into my garden last time and stole about 25 of them. I actually put 0 time to take care of them : /

L8er!

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Finished having my last meal of the day around 9 PM.

Had 450g of frozen brussel sprouts that I steamed together with 2 onions that I cut in half, 2 peeled carrots and 3 garlic cloves

Actually I popped open a jar of olives while food was in the steam cooker and I stabbed 'bout 6 on a toothpick. When buying I looked at all the labels to make sure they don't contain added sugar. These are just olives, salt, citric acid ( vitamin c ? ) and some antioxidant additive, which is in my opinion quite clean for food in a jar. They also are pausterized, which is probably not ideal. I had couple of them and then proceeded to observe myself.

The intense salty - sour flavor induces crave. After I had one, I wildly wanted more, more and more. Also it looks like the sourness isn't gentle to an semi-empty stomach,. There was definately some mild kind of reaction. I don't think these will be a staple of my diet, even though they are relatively cheap, tasty, convenient, packed with calories and perhaps healthy. At least not during this challenge.

TBH, I was surprised how good the onions, carrots and garlics turned out. That's DEFINATELY something I'll be doing more of in the future.

About the brussel sprouts, I ate like 10 and threw the rest in the garbage. I don't like how they taste even with salt and pepper. Side to side with the other veggies  they tasted crappy and artificial IMO. I'll try steaming non-frozen brussel sprouts somewhen soon.

In between these last 2 meals I felt some withdrawal and craving for intense tasting food and stimulation.  It's not completely gone yet. There was a moment where I almost shed a tear thinking about some of my favorite cereal or donuts. Don't worry, you will find equally good tasting recipes with time. Leave this time for experimenting with this different diet.

Sometimes I catch myself fantasizing if I could make work a life where I ate whatever and played videogames and just BS around. feels tempting, but remember, you've been there.

Also felt kinda empty and somewhat not at ease. I'm familiar with this feeling. Boredom is existential. I kept listening to the audiobook and I lost some interest in the topics he was covering, I already had eaten and reported my experience of last meal here, and saw couple of videos in YouTube before I stopped myself from  going on a unconscious spiral of binge watching random s^it.

Just sat there on my couch covered with a few blankets experiencing the present moment. I wasn't able to feel complete in the now. Maybe withdrawal from carbs, overstimulation and entretainment, IDK.  I'm also not playing videogames or watching that much stuff. I don't want to fall in downwards spyrals of unconscious behaviour. Gotta get used to being fulfilled with little stimulation.

I play-fighted with my little brother trying to immobilize eachother. I didn't feel weak after the meal, even though it felt relatively heavier on the gut compared with the horse-sized salad I ate this morning. Also I feel that gave me more energy than anything else I've done during the day.

I think I'll wait till I pee one more time before going to bed as the veggies I ate contain water and I won't drink anything. Got my 4 blankets in place, 1 and half hour since dinner and had light cardio with my bro. Sounds like a recipy for good night sleep this time. I'll just pop an audiobook and set it to turn itself off after 45 min, so I don't have any artificial light or screen time directly before bed. 

 - Damn my feet get cold the whole time -

Merry Christmas ;)

L8er!


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@mmKay you pa sounds way better than mine, all that tree hugging kinda redeems him already, ha, you reminded me about something really frightening that happened to me recently and caused my blood to go cold, it was in the middle of the night, and I was half asleep and about to get up for a pee when I actually felt an arm in the bed next to me, I'd been reading a bit on this site about people's paranormal experiences and ego backlash, etc, well anyway I touched it and just froze in horror, my blood literally went cold and I was silently freaking out as my brain was trying to make sense of this extra arm in the bed, thank God I quickly realised that it was just my own arm that had gone numb, I don't know if that's ever happened to you but it's really scary when you're half asleep! O.o


"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence". Erich Fromm

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@Amandine Yeah, I've experienced weird stuff like that with sleep (; , besides seeing a ghost when I was a kid and some short astral proyection / lucid dreaming relative recently. I'm noticing my limbs fall asleep WAY faster  and easier now. - Funny how sleep affects our intelect haha.

 

Beggining of day 6.

 

Woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming that I had indulged in two sugar sprinkled pastry slugs ( actually the other day I also dreamt that I had found couple of grapes in my wardrobe -wth?-  and instantly ate them ).

I felt kind of dissapointed after walking up, confused if I had betrayed my commitment or not lol.

 

Woke up again around 10:30 because of an alarm that I had forgotten to turn off for today. Lied under the bedsheets 'bout half hour more,  feeling quite weak , underslept and probably dehydrated,  with little initiative  to start the day since my goal doesnt require me to do anything besides healthy eating.

 

That's staying the top priority for these 6 weeks, but I will add as a secondary goal to really upgrade my knowledge about health. This will give me something specific to focus on besides the important meals, work and consistently sharing this.

 

Basically researching the sh*t out of this field. This will be primarely  a research phase, not embodying phase. I'm talking  seeking understanding of theory and practice of nutrition, fasting ,  fitness, sleep, bloodwork, supplements, grocery shopping skills and techniques, convenient eating strategies, improving breathing, posture  and striving to create a custom diet for my particular body and lifestyle. All of this, understanding that it's actually a very long term process.

 

Mind/body direct experience of reactions to food , exercise or techniques,  and trust in intuition will remain my judges for discernment and guidance.

 

Most likely I'll have little time in January between work and the fact that I'll be intensely  building my camper van. That will be another challenge for healthy eating.

 

The challenge officially ends 1st February. During these 6 weeks I'll be very strict and promise I'll put my best effort. After that, I still have to decide.  I foresee a commitment to a healthy living , but I still need  to define by my own terms what this actually means.

 

 

I think I may have thyroid issues as the symptoms somewhat fit me. I'll look into it.

 

 

Anyways, as usual felt quite weak going out of bed ( around 11:30) , and I did it with no particular goal. Stood up, did some light stretching movements like sitting in deep squat, cobra pose and reverse bowing with my arms in the air. Also found some place to free hang for a couple of seconds. This is what felt the most. I'll be doing more of that . Period. Somewhat improved physical energy.

 

Did the oil pulling  - tongue scratching and didn't even wash my teeth as It's not smelling at all for now. I'll do that before work at 6pm.

 

For breakfast, I had the leftover spinach from the bottom of the bag, half of a new bag of Iceberg lettuce, the lemon juice I had forgotten to pour in yesterday ( lol ) , quite a bit of olive oil, pink salt and powdered black pepper, with three tomatoes and one yellow bell pepper that I had first soaked in vinegar /  tap water and then cut up in chunky pieces, because I noticed I prefer to chew on the whole pieces rather than having to keep stabbing little pieces with my fork.

 

After 15 min I felt full and left 3/4 of a tomato and some green leaves for later. I think a whole lemon is too sour for a salad.

I'll try using just half next time or go for some vinegar.

 

Feeling energetic andsharp for now. Gut ain't complaining. Did 10 min of deep and slow breathing meditation that woke me up even more + some crawling around the room  and dynamic stretching before sitting down to read.

At 6 I'll start preparing for work.

L8er!


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Focus levels were steady after the meal. Body somewhat tired but I guess that's normal because of my sedentary habits.

While reading I started getting really pissed at the fact that I really don't know sh*t about Health, compared with all the information that's out there, and let's not talk about everything where we can be wrong or even what we don't know. Massive research is needed. 

Again, for now I'll just stick with intuition, direct experience reactions to food, keep absorving knowledge and not worry too much.

Also this gave me a quite big motivation boost to take life and personal development more seriously. I saw some of the unfulfilled potential.

 

I Ate a sliced up onion that I steamed with 'bout 500g of frozen brocolii and 5 garlic cloves. Also had the 3/4 of tomato and some mushed lettuce with lemon and olive oil that I had left over from breakfast.

I'll have a freezing shower before heading out to work. Energy levels are 7/10 if not more. Feeling full in a good way. No brain fog.

Just it's so god damn cold woah LOL

I'll probably eat lettuce with lime, olive oil, avocado and tomatoes at work.

I'll report back at night.

L8er!


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Woah, the cold shower I took was so cold that I had to stick my feet in a sink at work 'cause I couldn't feel the soles of my feet or pinkies. I'm good now though. Still, it was worth it.

Came back from work at 2 AM. Gotta say I'm starting to feel that my gut's getting used to digesting vegetables. 

Nice and steady levels of physical energy during the whole 7 hours I was working. 4 hours in, I had my break for food.

I made a HUGE salad. Bunch of lettuce, 2 big sliced tomatos, a handful of shredded carrots from the salad bar, a pinch of fresh chopped garlic, a sprinkle of red onion ( one of my fav ingridients probly ), 2 WHOLE AVOCADOS , and some sliced cucumber with skin and spring onion even though it's probably not even washed - *shrugs* - 3/4 squeezed lime, extra virgin olive oil and some table salt that tastes quite stronger, and more artificial,  than my pink salt at home.

Ate 95% of it in about 25 min. I feel my jaw muscles got stronger and don't get fatigued that easily now from chewing.

I got a couple strange looks and comments here and there because of my dish that I dismissed. 

Energy levels went even higher after eating even though I felt quite damn full.

The thing is, most likely I'm still adapting to the diet change. I was bloated for the next 4 hour

It's 2:40 am and I'm not feeling tired. I'll keep reading the nutrition e-book and then try to get some sleep. 

 

GN.

Edited by mmKay
typo

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LAST WEEK, AROUND THIS TIME, I WOKE UP WITH THE INSPIRATION TO START THIS CHALLENGE. YEAH Booiiiiii :D

Later on I'll do a TL;DR and conclusion of the first week of clean eating.

Day 7 !

Woke up around 10:30 AM. I don't remember walking up during the night this time.

Just average energy levels, nothing too special. I'm not feeling like superman getting out of bed.

At least I'm not feeling shit and sugar-hangovered. What I feel is probably dehydration ( swolen face skin ) and too much screen time and artificial light before bed ( swolen eyes ). 

I'll probably add daily 20 min slow breathing meditation before bedtime which should help with A LOT with sleep hygiene. I still need to consider if this is the level up that I want to make for the next week. ( I'm going slow and steady, focusing on just clean eating right now )

 

Pooped for the first time in 30 hours ?? My stomach is digesting and absorbing the vegetables rather than sh*tting everything out.

 

After Oil pulling and tongue scraping, I had breakfast :

'Bout 400 g of frozen broccoli, that I steamed with one whole onion and bout 6 garlic cloves. Pink salt, black pepper and I finished it off with one whole avocado as I got somewhat worried that they may be going bad. I just left them on the table for this whole time, I have little to no clue on how to conserve them actually. I do know you aren't suposed to pick on their branch end or they will go black real fast. I'll look into it.

 

Lately I'm remembering to do the mindful eating ritual of clapping and rubbing my hands to get in the present moment. GG for me.

 

Gut's not complaining. No brainfog, no severe tiredness although I do feel stiff and " lazy " .

 

Off to work, got split shift today so I'll work a bit during the day and the rest during the night. I'll think about doing grocerie shopping during my free time.

 

L8er!


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Fast update as I'm in a rush back to work.

 

After I ended the first part of my split shift, I was hungry. I didn't want to eat another avocado at work, and somehow I forgot to drink water during the whole day.

If my discernment is correct, that's why I felt really weak pretty irritable for that time. That's a discovery for me : how much lack of water affects both mood and physical energy. I mean, I knew it theoretically, but now I know how it feels in direct experience.

Usually having a veggie breakfast was enough to feel at least pretty normal for the next couple of hours, but this time I was feeling tired.

Headed towards the LIDL supermarket thats close to my house in search of organic products, that other spanish supermarket chains HAVE A COMPLETE LACK OF !

Here they are called " ecological " instead of "orcanic" or "biologic"  and is only found in the german supermarket chains Aldi and Lidl, at least that I know.

So without looking at the prices, I decided to shop for Ecological veggies. Got myself quite a buch of them.

 

Since one week has passed, I thought about adding a little something extra to my diet, either high quality meat, fish or legumes.

Meat-wise there was nothing. As far as fish, I got myself some frozen mussels with the shell that I'll steam either this week or next week.

It's quite funny how excited I was about just food. Something that hasn't to me before.

 

So I got myself some Ecologial chickpeas aka " garbanzo " here In spain. I was nervous. I love lentels and there are really mixed opinions between it being a superfood and something to avoid.

I ate only 400g, with the soup that it comes cooked in ( Ingredients : salt, ecological garbanzo beans, and water ).

It felt really good to be eating something else than vegetables. I was really happy and in my head I was thinking that If this feel good for my body I'm willing to drop meat.

I felt a tiny bit sleepy 30 min after eating, but besides that, energy levels repleated, didn't percive brain fog or anything. 

I do feel them in my stomach. It feels like they aren't easy to digest. No abnormal gut issues for now.

I'll report back l8er.

-sorry 4 sloppy writing - in a rush-

CY@


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Sigh. I'm confused.

So again, after a 7 days of eating nothing but vegetables I decided add something more to my diet to see how It affects my body/mind.

Ate those 400ish grams of coocked organic garbanzo beans, that I was really excited to eat TBH because I love the taste and they are super convenient.

BUT for the next 6 hours I felt that I'm still digesting them.

I felt uneasy. I felt food in my stomach but I had craving for more. I ate some steamed mushrooms and green peeas that I brought from home.

I don't know if it spikes my blood sugar , have some alergic reaction, not used to digesting it or the carbs from legumes remind my body of the sugar binges I used to do kicking off a crave sensation.

Will I have to give up legumes? Sadly I'm staying open to the posibility. I'm guessing meat would feel way lighter on the body.

Tomorrow more good food.

It's 1:24 AM.

GN !

 


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After having eaten the garbanzo beans I woke up feeling like all the progress had regressed, I'm guessing it's a mix of the blood sugar spike from the carbs and the fact that once again I didn't put thought into drinking water. Later in the day when I remembered about the existance of hydration, I chugged down 3/4 of a whole bottle instantly and effortlessly lol.

In fact, I woke up as If I had binged on junk food the last day. Opened my eyes around 9AM but stayed in bed for the next 2 hours skimming through another nutrition ebook, with little motivation to get out outta' the sheets.

But time to get to work was approaching, and I decided to jump out of bed and have a veggie breakfast, and woah, it makes a HUGE difference with how it feels to eat lentels.

I had lettuce with extra virgin olive oil, lemon 2 organic tomatoes, a chunk of organic cucumber, a whole avocado and some sliced red onion.

WOAH, after that I found myself happy for the day, humming songs and feeling energetic. I feel that's how an A+ breakfast should feel at least as far as my knowledge goes right now.

It gave me a surreal mood boost.

 

Later on for lunch I wanted to steam those mussels but I actually froze them by mistake the day before and I had to throw them out ):

So I hardboiled 3 organic eggs and tossed them in a similar salad as in the morning ,ate that,  and I gotta say I have zero brain fog at all. Got somewhat sleepy after eating but I can't tell if it's because I was tired from before or its the food making me exhausted.

I'm excited to keep trying new foods to see how they make me feel. Something that I'm pretty sure now is that low carb is the way for me.

Also It looks that no matter what I eat my physical energy will stay somewhat the same if I don't improove the sedentary habits. For now I have no organic way of implementing it into my lifestlye. Maybe if I biked to work,  had a walk with some audiobook, went swimming or did hatha yoga would help. That's probably going to be the next step of implementation

 

I have little to no cravings for sugar now. My mom baked another Zebra cake and I did not have to burry it. I just put in on a shelf and forgot about it (:

The thing is , I forgot that there is a book that guides you EXACTLY through this challenge I had set for myself and even more, laying out all the steps and tricks. I'll look more into that.

L8er!

Edited by mmKay

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Just pooped first time in two days lol. Kind of happy I saw that I had digested the garbanzo beans ( yeah gross I know )

Got in the habit of having the same salads in the morning, that looks like a good part of my morning routine as it makes me happy and energetic (lettuce, pink salt, olive oil, 2 sliced tomatoes, half red onion, sometimes cucumber, and one avocado. Having added the red onion, I noticed sometimes it makes me bloated.

May be because it's some aggressive to eat onion first thing in the morning, but I love it so f^ck it.  Enjoy my dragon breath lol.

Spent 'bout two hours cooking and shopping for healthy food today and I have enjoyed every second. It's nice to take your time and think about all the posibilities of the food, how can you cook it conveniently, whats the quality / price ratio, if I can take it to work, what can I mix it with, will it spike my bloodsugar, etc.

I decided to look for vegetables that I don't usually eat. Bought a whole cauliflower and DAMN I'm in love. Seems that you can even eat it raw, and it's on the clean 15 list for lowest pesticides applied. Also it's low glycemic which means that the carbs are absorbed slowly and dont spike bloodsugar. High on fiber making you feel full. Totally in love, as today I grated it in a bowl and used it as rice or lentels substitute. 

Made a stir fry with olive oil, grated cauliflower, chopped onion, garlic, salt and 3 organic eggs. It was so good that I dropped a few tears thinking that this is something that I can actually eat over the long run without digestion problems.

I saw plenty more of interesting recipes with cauliflower. New staple food? let's find out!

Dehydration is a bigger issue right now. I keep forgetting to drink water and find myself fatigued. Gotta set clever reminders.

 

I still feel full and somewhat bloated from the meal, but not physically tired as in " I just want to sleep" and mentally foggy.

I'll see how long the satiating effect lasts and then eat the leftovers at work. 

L8er!


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Nevermind,  looks like cauliflower made me bloated and fart for the whole night -_-

Quite uncomfortable tbh.

Perhaps I'd get my gut used to it over time, but I'll look for other foods / cooking methods

GN


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Haven't posted for the last couple of days as I felt quite overworked. But that's fine.

Went through some ego-backlash and I experienced some strong emotions where I noticed that my coping mechanism is to numb myself with food, even if not unhealthy. Just eating for distraction, most preferably filling foods like carbs. But instead of that I did nothing and I felt into my body. Cried for about 15 min in various streaks and felt quite relieved after. I't wasn't precisely about food. In short, it was more because of the confusion of the pointlesness of life and mystery of existance, and the fact that I noticed how attached I am to some family members.

Anyways, didn't have any refined sugars, wheat or dairy products.

Mixing raw onion with avocado for breakfast seems to mitigate the irritability of the onion.

Eating raw garlic and onion in the mornings is something I want to learn to add to my breakfasts as I see how they are one of the BIGGEST magic pills when it comes to health. The price to pay is the gut irritation and bodily and mouth odour. But I'll put effort into solving that part.

Lately I'm thinking about a how a healthy sustainable diet would look for me. As I have spent some time researching the different diets, foods to avoid and contradictory advice I think If I stay away from dairy and wheat ( + gluten ?  ) and refined sugar, I should be good to go for the next 20 years of my life. Probably I'd avoid pre-packed and processed food as well.

Yesterday I found out that you can blend chickpeas to make chickpea flour and do flatbread with it. Oh my god I'm in love. I ate quite a bit of that, and then about a jar and a half of blended lentels during the rest of the day. First I wanted do find out if I could just blend them and toss on the frying pan to make flatbread, but it turned out a disaster and I just ate most of it as a soup. Gotta say I went overboard with 'dem lentels since I feel the gases till now lol.

I'm really enjoying cooking lately. Excited to learn new delicious, healthy, convenient and easy dishes.

Happy 2020 !!


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Looking back on this. Funny it all started just as a morning thought. Gotta do more of these. 

This one unhooked me of junk food and taught me so much about nutrition and gave me back energy both physical and mental. Ill start another blog soon. 

This was a huge game changer. Focusing on one thing at a time is so powerful. 


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