Social Awkwardness since doing this work

[abundance]

Has anyone else notice themselves become more socially awkward around people since doing consciousness work? Before becoming an avid meditator I seemed to be more outgoing. It was so easy for me to connect with other people and make friendships on the fly. I've never been an extrovert but I had no problem expressing myself around other people. Now I am more reclusive and  would rather spend most of my time to myself. And this is mostly due to me feeling self conscious about my awkwardness. 

When talking I am more conscious of the subtle body language of not only the people I'm communicating with but myself as well. This often causes me to over analyze when communicating and leads to awkwardness. 

Another thing I notice is that I seem to be far less interested in small talk. I realize this is the type of convo most people engage in and it is good for networking and building rapport. I've heard of people becoming more outgoing since doing this work. For me it seems to have done the complete opposite.

Has anyone experienced and overcome this? Its been this way for me for about 4 years now. 

[Ananta]

You are in the phase of withdrawal from the world. It's okay. It's part of neti-neti, not this not that, but you can't stay there forever. The return movement will start again. This is where you once again include all things as part of the whole. 

"Once there were mountains, then no mountains, then mountains again"

[abundance]

Just now, Anna1 said:

You are in the phase of withdrawal from the world. It's okay. It's part of neti-neti, not this not that, but you can't stay there forever. The return movement will start again. This is where you once again include all things as part of the whole. 

"Once there were mountains, then no mountains, then mountains again"

 

Thanks for putting this phase into context. 

[Aaron p]

Oh, ive experienced the *exact* same thing. Your thinking too much. notice what you do when you notice it happening...you try to fix it yeah. whats happening is this, your thinking too much, you notice that your thinking too much so you tighten your grip on it so to restrain it with your mind, however this is just implementing more thoughts. 

What your looking for is to become thoughtless...like a child. anxiety is what it is. you gotta learn the language of silence when it comes. not trying to fix it. also, whatever you look at, is what you are literally creating. By looking at something you cause it to become larger in the eye of your consciousness. By trying to fix your anxiety, as you notice it arise...you cause it to arise further. its like me telling you not to think of the pink elephant...the better thing to do would be to stop reading my reply lol

Also, look for any possible physical causes of your anxiety. weed makes your anxiety go mad. 

when the anxiety arises either...*silence*                   .................................................................................  

...or get up and dance, look at something else. you are creating it my friend

Edited December 19, 2019 by Aaron p

[Ananta]

@abundance ❤ 

[Highest]

This spiritual shit will take your life if you go far enough. But you will know when to return. Then you will see how much more there truly is. To this world, to yourself. 

Don't stay in the spiritual booble for too long, bring yourself back and embrace all of it. Become all of it. There is an end to the spiritual path, the end is simply the return, the beginning. 

 

[traveler]

I have experienced the same. I got more and more isolated on this journey. The only thing I was living for was the next insight, meditating every day trying to break through the thin veil of the reality that I perceived. My big awakening experience sent me on a 2 year journey of seeking. I got disconnected from people around me and was unable to relate to ordinary human problems. A while ago after the years of heavy seeking I laid of the 4 hours of non dual videos a day and the constant chasing for the now, and went back to being a human again. I was tired of treating myself like shit, my body like shit. I was getting on the heavier side, so I laid of the junk food og went to the gym, I've implemented new habits for about a month now and I feel better than I did the last 2 years. I'm more grounded, I have true peace without having to worry about shutting of my mind, I have opinions and I stand for something, I can help my family with their problems because I'm not discarding those problems to be unreal anymore, I am learning to love myself and not avoid myself. One thing that I'm still working on is the social awkwardness that you talk about, this has gotten better than before, but I can still be anxious in social settings with strangers. The whole idea that helped me was the idea that it is okay to have an ego. I heard that from Matt Kahn. I had been trying to shed my ego for so long, but it never felt that good to try and do that. The first time I heard Matt Kahn say that it was okay to have an ego it was the insight I had been chasing for 2 years, I laughed so much and everything got lighter. You have to have an ego to integrate your ego. 

Edited December 19, 2019 by traveler

[Dragonfly210]

Thank you for creating this post about being socially awkward. I have been a hermit since doing this work and funny thing is I didn't even know what kind of work I was doing. I was just trying to figure myself out. Then suddenly, I had a cancer scare in the beginning of the year. That was apart of my spiritual awakening process. I finally knew what I met to love myself and completed felt it in my heart. The moments of bliss left after a few weeks and I'm being on the path to find out who I really am now and embracing my spiritual gifts that I been denying my whole life.  I have 10+ sales experience and feels like it all went down the tubes in 1 night. I have been socially awkward since. So, I totally understand what you're going through. I even hired a therapist to make sure I stay grounded because I have no idea what's going on... I wish you the best of luck. All I know is, I've gotten more answers in this forum then most places, so you're in the right place to ask these questions.

 

 

 

Edited December 23, 2019 by Dragonfly210

[purerogue]

What did you expect when you are thought to  not judge, not get angry, understand this, understand that, look at this like that , look at that like that!  Ofc you will be awkward,  trying to play with  your mind pulling strings  as if it is puppet that you can control.